Poison And Wine

grizzly man (2005)

Cat snoring into an echo mic (🔊)

I’m watching a documentary on Netflix about animals getting prosthetics and this vet just hand sculpted a prosthetic beak for an injured swan and the very first thing it did was use its new beak to bite someone

that is very on-brand for swans

The dog is missing from this

The composers of movie soundtracks are probably the most underrated people in the whole world

The dog is missing from this

Bill Nye stepped up!!!

Me: dont fuckin boss me around!!!!!

Someone I Find Attractive: *tells me what to do in a semi-stern voice*

Me:

what do you call someone who smokes two marijuanas

double jointed

what do you call someone who smokes three marijuanas

dead

drugs kill, kids

(fires rifle at a gong to indicate that ive made a joke)

when someone sends you something so Your Type that it hurts

Guardian News: “‘You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words,’ climate activist Greta Thunberg has told world leaders at the 2019 UN climate action summit in New York.”