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omg this is such a 2009 hipster monochrome lol

best angles

Plaguespreader

By: Matthew Misener, Twitter: twitter.com/ArlinBradley

I’m infected. You know what I’m infected with. You saw it on the news. The World Health Organization called it a pandemic the other day. I never thought it would infect me. But, it did. Now, I don’t know what to do.

Unlike some people my age, I don’t have a salary. I don’t have any sick days. I used them all when I sprained my ankle in January. Brett says I need a doctor’s note to get paid leave. You know, to make sure I’m not capitalizing on the paranoia to dodge shifts. He doesn’t want to set a precedent. Problem is, I can’t afford the bill. Sure, it’s not a 100k heart attack bill. But $175 for a checkup is almost half a week’s pay. I know I need to self-quarantine. But, I don’t have any savings. I can’t pay rent if I don’t go out and make rent money. You know what I need to do. But, I’m not sure I have the stomach to do it.

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If my wife reads this we’ll never leave the house again.

Fucccckkkk

therapist: how are you? me: fine how are you

Just checked my account balance and I am now currently taking applications for sugar daddies.

Me in the club when all the shots finally hit

Cynthia snapped

fuk-in ded

You ever wake up early and your so disheveled/squinty/puffy that you have to enter your code bc your phone doesn’t recognize your face?

Gay🥴😤😞😢😬🧐🥰irl

Daisy Ridley fangirling over Angelina Jolie at the 2019 D23 Expo

This is framed like a parks and rec gag