oh my god

Okay, this is awesome.

whatever you are expecting, this is not it!

If you could see my face right now, oh my fucking god

This……was not what I expected

@skoogers

Wow these Dragon Age Inquisition “Make Solas Pretty” mods are getting real crazy

The Legend Of Wicker Basket

Supergirl / DC’s Legends of Tomorrow AU: In the year 2017, Kara Zor-El is lured to save her sister from an evil secret organization. The kidnapping is a ploy to unleash red kryptonite on Kara and have her destroy National City. However, when Kara accidentally kills Alex, the darkness inside her grows exponentially until she destroys all Earths. Rip Hunter sets a course to the future of Kara’s Earth and sends Sara to deal with Supergirl, both because she understands being devoured by darkness and because she relates to losing a big sister. Instead of letting Alex die, though, Sara decides to go save her in Kara’s place.

Bonus:

Ending scene cliffhanger for next season of this thing:

The best team-up. THE BEST.

Their team-up in the StephBrown!Batgirl run is one of my faves. Hard-light holographic Draculas FTW.

Nothing about this surprises me

I have no idea why you would say that.

NONE.

AND NOW

some bullshit about batman’s schedule

first off, sleep. i’m using this site as a source because i might as well. does anything on this site have any scientific backing whatsoever? who knows, who cares, it looks legit and that’s all that matters for comic book science. now: a lot of people like to attribute the “ultraman” sleep schedule to batman because then he only has to sleep two hours:

however i believe that this is goddamn stupid because then bruce wayne has to take naps constantly. and i mean constantly. the only way this schedule works is if you stick to it. the first time batman has to pull a shift longer than four hours he’s completely fucked. his sleep schedule is screwed. he’s got no room for error. even when things are going well everyone in his life is worried about him because he’s constantly sleeping and always tired what the fuck. like maybe he does this occasionally because Shit Has Gotten Real but generally fuck no, why.

here’s what i think is more reasonable, it’s the “everyman”:

this here is a schedule with some wiggle room. you can pare it down to about 4 hours which still leaves you 20 hours to do whatever the fuck, up to and including clown punching. occasional all-nighters won’t kill you too much, because all you’ve really got to do is get rid of one of those gaps and sleep straight through and you’re back in business. to an outsider it even probably looks like you slept the night. you went to bed, you slept, maybe you got up in the night because of insomnia but you came back to bed and you woke up in the morning like a normal person. being the guy who makes a habit of an afternoon siesta isn’t going to raise too many eyebrows, especially not when you’re an Eccentric Billionaire. “likes a nap after lunch” is the least suspicious thing a billionaire can do. or a poor person. or anyone.

so anyway when the fuck’s he gonna take his naps

for location purposes i am using detroit, mi, because fuck you that’s why

so step one: when is it nighttime. batmen are for nighttimes. batman only comes out during the day for emergencies, and we’re not looking at emergency scheduling right now. this is day-to-day batman operations. batperations. i’m using this site for info here. so here’s what day/night cycles look like in general (those weird fissures are daylight savings):

jun 18th you’ve barely got any nighttime at all. it’s 11-4 at best. dec 18th? TWELVE STRAIGHT HOURS. straight-up 6-6. I AM THE NIGHT AND I’M HUGE.

anyway this is so variable it’s fucking useless, jesus christ.

so let’s look at CRIME STATISTICS YAY.

according to this thing right here which probably has a better source but i don’t care, once you hit 3am there’s about jack shit happening because even criminals are fucking tired. according to this other thing, people are more likely to beat the shit out of each other when it’s hot and more likely to steal shit when it’s cold.

this infographic got cited earlier in a dead link in an article and includes dick-all about detroit so i’ll settle for chicago. gotham can be both detroit and chicago. it’s fake i do what i want. anyway aside from a weird spike at lunchtime most shootings happen after five but before midnight. assaults actually mostly happen during the day because that’s when you have to be around people and therefore that’s when you’ll punch a motherfucker. anyway i think we’ll have to assume that batman can’t be worrying about every single instance of a motherfucker getting punched in gotham and therefore does not account for it in his schedule.

robberies! once again the stats say 5pm-12 but it seems pretty likely that people are actually getting robbed while they’re at work and just reporting it when they get home and their shit is gone. still: ain’t shit happening after midnight. like a mogwai.

burgling, ham and otherwise: MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DAY. can you believe that shit. batman have you considered a less nocturnal animal. still, there’s a lull again between 12-6am. with theft there’s a lull between 1am-9am but otherwise that’s another all-day thing.

basically night is when the least crimes happen, except for shootings. which. okay. that makes sense for batman. clearly he has a personal interest in singling out shootings as The Worst Crime.

SO WHEN DOES BATMAN PROBABLY SLEEP:

4:30-7:30am for one big sleep. six hours later he takes an afternoon nap at like 1:30, for twenty minutes. three hours and forty minutes later, it’s 5:30, time for another twenty minute nap. he’s in his office just sleeping at his desk. no one even notices. he looks like he’s reading this report REALLY intensely. his third nap is probably all over the place depending on the time of year. sometimes he probably opts to just sleep longer and take fewer naps.

GOD IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHEN JUSTICE SLEEPS.

anyway based on all that we can safely say that batmanning usually doesn’t get started until after 6pm, at the earliest, under ordinary circumstances when no one is trying to blow up the whole city. that seems like a monthly sort of a thing. maybe biweekly depending on if you mean twice a week or every two weeks. most of the time, though, dude has between 3am and 6pm (MINIMUM) to sleep and run a company and do whatever else. so that’s 15 hours, minus four hours of sleep - 11 hours of who gives a fuck, and that’s assuming a long night of batman. bruce wayne ain’t workin’ 8 hour days i guarantee that. here’s the ceo of ge trying to sound busy and sounding like he does fuck-all so yeah sure i totes believe bruce wayne could do that guy’s job and also fight crime.

(what i think about how wayne enterprises is structured and bruce’s function within it is a whole nother bullshit post but tl;dr privately-held multinational conglomerate with a wayne as chairman and ceo)

(i actually like to treat wayne enterprises as analogous to ge for most purposes and while i am well aware that there is little to no precedent for a privately-held company to be that fukken huge, do you know what else is unprecedented: a batman)

there are probably going to be some nights when bruce has to stay up late entertaining guests at fancy parties, but again those are probably more of a once-or-twice-a-month kind of thing. unfortunately, fancy party hours are - according to this totally bullshit excuse for research - also Peak Crime Times. but if crime peaks on weekends, maybe wednesdays are chill. can you imagine bruce wayne constantly throwing parties on wednesdays, like an asshole. “why wednesdays???” sensible people ask. “to annoy you, and you specifically” he says. it makes his parties more exclusive. who can party on a wednesday night. only the coolest motherfuckers in gotham, that’s who. like super-cool bruce wayne who definitely passed out drunk and isn’t taking his regularly scheduled old-man nap.

i feel like there was supposed to be a point to this post but i think it’s mostly that there are actually plenty of hours in the day for a person to be both batman and bruce wayne, if you assume he’s an overachieving asshole that only sleeps four hours and builds a careful schedule around gotham’s crime statistics.

Archie Panjabi - Emmy Winner - 2010

Emmy winner who had to buy her own dress off the rack because no designer would loan one. (She then auctioned her dress for charity.)

And let’s not forget what happened when she first arrived on the red carpet: 

 "it was like going to Disneyworld for the first time… And then it all went downhill. I was on the red carpet and you have to queue up, and get on one of the dots so they can take a photo. They’re screaming for the woman in front of me, and then it’s my turn… So I come up to this dot, and every single photographer in the line puts their camera down… So I was all dressed up on my biggest night ever and that moment happened. I wanted the floor to open up. Literally, they just …" she mimes a photographer lowering a camera, looking bored. “That woke me up.”

 Panjabi went on to win the Emmy for best supporting actress that night, beating Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks and Elisabeth Moss, as well as her co-star in The Good Wife, Christine Baranski. She was also one of only two Brits to win an award that night. “And then I went to take the pictures at the end, and I’m kissing the award, quietly thinking: ‘Yeah, fuck you.’”

[Source: The Guardian]

I’ve been a fan of hers since she played Jess’s sister in Bend It Like Beckham.  

Woooooooooooow, fuck the press. And the designers. Holy shit :(

i call all my friends after 20 years of no contact and invite them to visit me at my house, which is a farm in the middle of nowhere. they approach the farm gates and i appear looking like this

..go on…….

i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches

accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows

i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.

i say nothing

at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you

Thanks

youre welcome

... is this the sequel to “Until Dawn”?

okay so if you assume that in this being-tempted-by-evil wonder woman fantasy, she has arranged her hunks by bangability (and why wouldn’t she), do you think they’re in ascending or descending order? i’m assuming ascending, but you’d think she’d want the most bangable hunk to be closest to her throne. but i can’t conceive of a world where wonder woman considers aquaman to be the most bangable dude in the league. honestly even the fact that he is in fourth comes as some surprise to me. she hasn’t even replaced his axe hand with something useful, like a bottle opener. i feel like if you told aquaman about this he’d be really flattered just to have shown up. but the best part is that i’m p sure she’s officially trying to bang nemesis at this point, and regardless of what order this lineup is in, he is not in first. i’m pretty sure he’s in third. she literally just started dating the dude but if batman suggested he’d be dtf she’d drop nemesis like a hot potato. even in diana’s darkest fantasies bruce won’t take his fucking mask off and he looks like he just realized he forgot to set his tivo. diana cannot imagine anything hotter than dudes in scalemail armwarmers. that is her true dark secret.

Have you seen Aquaman? He is totally first on the list.

i am not denying that diana, being of sound mind and body, would throw jason momoa over her shoulder and carry him away to her hypothetical throne room full of hunks. but this is shaggy unkempt beardy hobo white guy aquaman we’re talking about.

not that i’m not into it, personally, but i’d think if you were gonna go for a beardy blonde in the league the obvious choice would be green arrow

ollie’s got a noted history of slutting around so you know he knows what he’s doing. who or what has aquaman been doing? no one knows. he’s half mermaid. maybe he swims upstream to spawn. if it’s jason momoa aquaman then sure, fuck it, still worth it. but white guy aquaman has a lot of competition when it comes to the justice league hunk olympics.

omg why do white ppl love cheese so mu-

I actually didnt know that

The answer is apparently “because we’re actually able to eat it”

Fun fact: white people (specifically Northern European white people) have a genetic mutation that allows them to digest lactose even after weaning, which is abnormal for all mammals and also most humans. It’s theorized that because Northern Europe doesn’t get a lot of sun, an alternative source of vitamin D (like milk) would be a useful trait. It’s a very recent mutation that would only have happened after humans started domesticating animals like cows and goats.

THERE WAS A GLITCH ON MY PHONE WHEN I SCROLLED DOWN THIS POST AND IM SHITTING

rob liefeld’s final form

@nothing-but-white-noise

does anyone else get that horrible feeling when ur watching a show that you like, but you can feel the heterosexual romance building up, u know the signs, and it’s like ur in a horror movie except instead of a monster it’s the protagonists annoying boyfriend to be

the cavalier cook (via outofcontextdnd)

s/o to every closeted person hearing about the pulse shooting who has to act normal and unconcerned so as not too act ‘suspiciously upset’ I see you & I understand