i am jimins mother

why do you need to smoke weed before we tie the damsel to the traintracks is there something wrong with you

when somebody is shitty at me in public (my boss and i walk a large pack of dogs between the two of us -- so we interface with the public in a specific way a lot) anyway when somebody is shitty at me I just turn my customer service voice up to 11 and no matter what they say to me i respond “thank you!” “okay thank you!” “I understand, thank you!”

and oh my gods, it wrecks people in ways no amount of swearing or insulting ever has

a couple months ago our only other employee called out sick last minute and my boss and i were walking 24 dogs between the two of us - which, we are extremely professional about, that number is not a problem for us. Anyway, we were pulled off the side of the walking/biking path and this guy with one of those infinitely long retractable leashes let his little frenchy start wandering right up to our pack of dogs. I was bent over picking up poop so my boss asked the man to please not let his dog approach our pack of dogs. He said in response that he lets his dog do whatever he wants!? and let his dog come super close to our pack of twenty-four dogs?

And when my boss said “well that’s a dangerous way to manage your dog” He moved away a little bit but started cussing us out for being so rude and yelling about how maybe we shouldn’t have a pack of uncontrolled dogs out (one of our dogs had by now barked a single time, which i shut down immediately, which honestly just goes to show off all our hard work with these dogs because between his body language and the loud angry yelling, as far as the dogs were concerned this man and his dog were literally threatening violence toward the 26 of us, and my boss and I were holding them together below boiling point solely on their sheer trust in our ability to control every situation they experience with us.)

Anyway my boss has seen my “thank you!” technique and she started doing it and this guy came unglued. And the more angrily he insulted her and the more she responded with okay thank you in a cheerful voice the more people stopped to see and the more it looked like he was an out-of control asshole (which of course, he was) and he could tell as it was happening but it just made him angrier

he wound up stomping off still yelling at us both, but it really demonstrated something about the technique: there is no version of that story for him that makes him look good. What’s he going to say “and then she said thank you! THANK YOU! What a bitch, right?” well did she say it, you know, in a mean way? “no, no she said it in a cheerful polite way!” like, he can’t be the hero of that story to anyone in his life XD

My mom is a master at this. She turns aggressively kind when people are being shitty. She keeps phone scammers on the line for as long as she can to prevent them from calling other people by asking them to talk about their days, their families, their ambitions, etc. She once made an obscene caller hang up on her by offering to call 911 about their medically concerning heavy breathing.

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john john john john

what’s the cheat code for stable mental health

Money

It’s called ‘being able to see the corpse’

So if I put you in an L-shaped swimming pool, and you knew there was a corpse around the corner, you'd be fine?

loving the implication that I'm a little animal and you're a scientist putting me into various bodies of water to test my corpse:water ratio tolerance

to everyone who thinks being cringe is puke worthy, behold - the cringe emoji of power

cringe mutuals, rb to spread the cringe to non-cringe people

Wdym cringe this is my loser boy swag

you've gotta have friends who are older than you, not because you're a dumb kid, but because you'll be terrified of growing up otherwise

being the oldest person you allow yourself to know will eat holes in your brain and you'll start saying weird stuff

Witch Bunny by Fernanda Dias

Girl if you don't simplify that fraction

I've started saying this to myself when I'm overthinking. Like girl.... get simplifying what is wrong with you

Love that for you diva

He was an activist who inspired millions to fight for their rights. He knew what was wrong with our country and risked his life to help his people achieve equality.  In the society where black were treated like animal he did everything possible to change this. His brave soul, his will and courage changed the history of America , changed the people. He made us believe we can win this war. He payed for it with his life. He will always be remembered.

this should be reblogged everyday just so people can know that black rage is always justified. always.

if ur wondering what the fuck is wrong with me imagine how i feel