me: [sticks one leg out]

body: perfect

Demon to my now exposed leg:

YO mr white im lookin for some fresh milk out the tap. yknow. breastfeed me, bitch

ive blocked this post three times why wont it disappear

yea im into bdsm

Beautiful Dogs Surrounding Me

how turtles be when they see a nice piece of lettuce

me, having been ignored for approximately .5 seconds:

why is this so fucking funny

my dude bouta put y’all in the shrimp heaven that you keep demanding

Me, after I get vaccinated:

Thiccolas, the Wide Furby. made of 2 different types of denim for maximum power.

TIME MAG GOING IN!

December 18th

Me: (.)(.)

Tumblr: *Tazes me*

the cool thing about having an idiot alt right supporting brother is when he gets mad over dumb shit my sister and i go “It’s concerning how such a small thing triggers such a strong reaction from you.” in the family groupchat and he’ll see the word “trigger” in relation to him and go fucking nuclear

the downside about having such a dipshit brother is literally every thing else about him

case in point: he’s angry about Stranger because she knocked over a glass he left on the counter overnight and said if we don’t find her owner by tomorrow he’ll throw her out the window.

I went “It’s concerning how something so small triggers such a strong reaction from you. Stranger is a kitten, and we’ve only had her for a few days. Maybe you should calm down before threatening violence to a fucking kitten.” 

This escalated his anger, and he started texting back how he won’t really hurt her, but he doesn’t want her to track litter everywhere. My sister responded “Maybe you can keep your door closed while she stays with her so it’s a safe space away from cat hair and kitty litter.”

We heard him yell from upstairs and he turned off his phone. 

this is god tier trolling, and i’m in genuine awe of it

the legend is real and doesnt like reality checks