this is a working title

"you look tired" well the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease

cosmic horror (god loves you too much and keeps resurrecting you)

top 10 sex positions that will leave naught but ash in your wake

Sometimes fiction doesn’t have a moral to the story. Sometimes fiction points at something and goes “Ever thought about THAT???” And you look at what it’s pointing at for a bit.

on july 12th 2004 the statue of liberty reached down & picked up 1 guy & ate him. not very many people saw this happen & no one got any pictures of it. the eyewitness accounts never traveled very far or got any attention on the internet or anything

it's important to mock and belittle military and law enforcement to signal to others that these are not respectable professions, both to dissuade entry and to devalorize the institutions in the public eye

guess my favorite rene descartes quote

who give a shit.

had a dream that I met a wizard and we fell in love and became unhealthily attached to each other so we decided to meld into one single creature together but the process was horrifically slow and painful and most of the dream was us lying in bed holding hands while lesions opened up in our skin and seeped out blue and green fluid and the wizard said "this is going to take a very very long time" and I said "that's ok"

you have to stop biting the hand that feeds you. go for the neck

kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment

Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

sorry i said something dickish. a few mildly frustrating things happened to me in succession and it turned me evil

they should invent joints that don’t hurt

I’m like if someone smart chose to be an idiot. Out of free will

i love ibuprofen its like Lol.. im not feeling that