When your white boss at an all white company wants to run a black history month sale… n.

As the last day of my blogging for class I’ve learned a lot about myself and my hair but most importantly I’ve learned to make sure I put myself first. This class has made me focus on the things I truly want to do and it turns out I like writing blog posts, just not as many as were required for this class, and will continue to do so after this is all over. Sparingly, I do have a job to do, but I will continue. I plan on adding things into it though, better things, to build it up more and be the space I want it to be.

I want to share other passions and not just my hair. I plan on adding more of my art on here, and beginning to speak out about my views on things other than hair. The recent events in Chicago, where I’m from, for instance have been weighing heavy on my head but I haven’t been able to address them because I was focused on this aspect of my blog.

So as a parting gift, I’m leaving off with one last post about natural hair. Not informative in any way but I hope you find it useful.

It took me 19 years to fully accept my hair. To finally believe that my hair wasn’t wrong or weird or ugly. To truly believe my hair is beautiful. I am beautiful and no matter what society tries to tell me or what some of my family members tell me, I refuse to believe natural hair isn’t amazing just as it is. No matter if it’s 3a or 4c. It is beautiful. You are beautiful. Don’t be like me and let 19 years go by before you believe in yourself and see yourself for what you are. An amazing, wonderful, and beautiful person.

 Rae, out.

The Hat Struggle

Okay so I posted a few days ago about my love of hats. I truly have a love hat relationship with hats. I love all kinds from slouchy beanies and baseball caps to fedoras and panama style hats. I love them all but my hate comes from the struggle of having curly hair and wearing fitted hats.

(source: pinterest)

(source: klassykinks)

Let’s start off with the hard work that is ruined the moment you stick the hat on your head. Curls that you spent hours on or even 30 mins on squashed before your very eyes. Sad I know, but it gets worse. If you’ve decided to accept the squished curls and wear the hat anyway you are now bound to that hat. I’m talking married to that sucker for as long as you’re out. Hopefully you don’t go somewhere and have to take it off, I feel for you then, son.

I’ve tried so many things and I just can’t wear a hat unless I straighten my hair or style it for use with a hat, like a sleek pony/puff, otherwise it’s not happenin’, captain!

Please tell me I’m not the only one who is torn up about this? I’m sad just thinking about all the hats I own, yes I keep buying them knowing I’ll never wear them (it’s a problem), that will never see more than one day in the sun before I retire them. Anybody else have this issue? Yes? No? Maybe so? If you don’t please give me some words of wisdom to get over the hat issue. My hats will thank you!

 Rae, out!

For someone who loves hats as much as I do you’d think I’d straighten my hair more often.

Hats and curly hair don’t play well together and I don’t believe in keeping your hat on indoors so like if I wear a hat I need to be outdoors at all times. Plus hat hair so if you wear a hat with curly hair you better be married to that thing while you’re out

The school year is winding down and I’m at my wits ends so I haven’t done anything remotely relevant to hair care but I felt I should share something anyway. Something I feel is important even if I myself forget to do it most days.

Take time out of your day for you. For your health, mental and physical. I’ve been super stressed lately and I usually try not to let things bother me but lately it’s been hard with a bunch of things piling up at once. I’ve noticed my hair starting to shed more which is a definite sign I’m stressing out too much. That and I’ve gained a significant amount of weight. I’m not too worried about that but the hair issue is all too familiar and I really should work on relaxing a bit more.

It’s just hard when you have a lot to get done in a very short amount of time. I’m a full time grad student with a full time job in a demanding field so it’s hard for me to even get the necessary sleep I need let alone relax.

This is basically just me telling you all don’t make the same mistake. If you have time even if it’s just 5 mins use it to take care of yourself. I still have a ways to go in setting aside time for myself but I will get there in time. Next semester is going to be a bit less hectic so that should be a better semester for me.

As for the weight issue… I’m definitely hitting the gym soon. Definitely. I worked hard for the body I had a few months ago and I want it back :)

 Rae, out!

So people flippin shit over a Starbucks cup and it's OK because "My religion!" But black folks get mad over black college students whose lives are being threatened for being black and we need to calm down? Ok.

Loving your hair.

The hardest part about curly hair is learning to love it as is. I spent so many years, over half my life, hating my hair. I hated how it got frizzy so I straightened it. But then I hated it because it was so thin so I curled it. But then I hated the way my curls fell after a few hours. I spent a long time dislike myself. No one really talks about this aspect of curly hair or natural hair, which has a higher scrutiny that just curly hair (There is a difference.)

When I finally learned to love my hair and myself I was an adult. I look back at my life when I was younger and wish I had someone who told me that I was fine. That there was nothing to hate about myself but I didn’t and I spent forever hating something that I shouldn’t have. Something that Millions of people have.

I have a niece who has thick curly hair and I’ve had to check a few people who make comments bout it’s unruliness. Even my own family. I’ve heard her say she doesn’t like her hair but I always tell her, you hair is beautiful just like you. It’s just different but everyone is different and that’s not a bad thing. I refuse to let her grow up hating herself like I did. It’s not fun and it’s preventable. She will have the support I didn’t and I will make sure she knows nothing is wrong with her.

Halloween fun. Made me and my sister went as Mario and Luigi. Had a ball!

Tinting my blonde highlights brown

So over the spring I had my sister (she’s trained to style hair don’t worry guys) give me blonde highlights for the summer. I loved them. I still do but alas winter has come around and it’s time for a change in color. I’ve only dyed my hair a few times but I’ve always wanted to experiment with color. I really want to do an all over color one day but that will have to wait.

Anyways, we bought the tint this weekend:

I wanted a burgundy color so of course this was the most logical choice haha. So we set out to darken these bad boys up and it said to wait 25 minutes with the color on before rinsing it out. I waited 35 since my hair takes a long time to let the color actually take. I spent a half hour looking like this:

Cute I know. I’m adorable.

Anyway I waited and rinsed it out and I had a LOT of shedding. I began to get concerned but then quickly realized that I did the color IMMEDIATELY after removing my twists and hadn’t de-tangled it. If you didn’t know when your hait is in a protective style it still sheds but it doesn’t fall out like it normally would it stays within the confines of the style. When you take them down it’s normal to have a lot of shedding because you hair doesn’t stop growing and shedding while in the style. So I had a minor freak-out until I remembered this and it was all good. I had to rinse my hair about 4 times to make sure the water ran clear and it was annoying but a part of life. 

I washed and conditioned like always and continued on to do my regular regimen and this was the result:

The color is more of a spice brown color. I plan on tinting it again in a week or two to get the color I want. I wanted a darker color but this is life.

So that is all for my coloring experience this time. My hair is still healthy, not splits or dead ends. Happy with the turn out and had a good time.

On another unrelated note, I’m seriously considering wrecking my eyesight just to be able to wear these glasses without judgement:

Yes. I want this in my life. 

Rae, out.

Tomorrow is the last day for my twists.

So I’m taking my twists out tomorrow. I was initially going to keep them in for 3 weeks but due to sensitive skin and scalp issues I have to remove them. However, that doesn’t mean I’m just going back to my regular curls. I’m actually going to color my blonde highlights a darker brown/red color over the weekend. So expect a post about the dying process. 

This isn’t the first time I’ve colored my hair. I’ve done it about 3 times now and it’s actually really hard because my hair doesn’t hold color well. To get my highlights I had to leave the dye on for an hour WHICH I DO NOT RECOMMEND and it still wasn’t as bright as I wanted them to be. 

I’m also going to be checking the state of my ends so maybe I’ll make a video/post about it. I won’t be checking my length because I’ve found that length checks make me really sad since my hair doesn’t grow very long. The longest it’s been while curly is right below my shoulder blade and I’ve learned to accept that so I stopped checking length to prevent the sadness from overcoming me (I’m a big baby guys).

Well that’s all for today. More of a what’s to come post than an informative one but just so this does have information in it, NEVER, EVER, EVER, play with a Chiweenie while you have long twists. Let’s just say the little stinker bit down and yanked a twist so hard I thought it came out XD. Lesson learned!

Rae, out!

black-luba replied to your post “Hurt”

black-luba replied to your post “Natural Youtubers”

I forgot them! I like them too haha. There are so many I’ve watched over the years that I forget most of them until I stumble upon their vids again haha

ON ANOTHER NOTE: You are always so nice! I’m gonna try to respond more often because your comments make me happy :))

Hurt

I can’t help but be a bit disappointed and offended about what went down today.

I work in an office that is fairly laid back. We don’t have a strict dress code or anything so I’m free to do what I want as long as I look put together. Right now I have twists in, long twists and there doesn’t seem to be a problem with it. I’ve worn them before but usually I have my natural hair out which is very curly and very big most days.

When I have my natural hair out, I get looks and comments about it. Subtle ones mostly but one time my boss low-key told me I needed to brush my hair. Basically the conversation sounded something like her saying she wished she could do the roll out of bed without brushing her hair but that it looks “cute” on me. Now this may not seem like a big deal because she was paying me a compliment right? Well no once you realize that a lot of POC are looked down on and are constantly told our hair isn’t cute or nice or good simply because its texture is different from the non POC. So I was in fact a little hurt because I don’t think my hair looks like it needs to be brushed simply because that’s the way it grows.

Fast forward to today. My coworker who has straight hair naturally got a perm yesterday. She came into work with very curly hair similar to my hair texture. Guess what my boss said? I love your hair. Now mind you my coworker is white and she permed her hair to get it curly like mine but when she shows up with a head full of curls no one tells her to brush her hair. Her hair is cute. It’s stylish. They love it but I can’t help but feel hurt when I would wear the same style and yet I need to brush my hair?

Seriously?

Rae, out.

Natural Youtubers

So when I went natural 6 years ago I didn’t know jack poop about how to manage my hair. Like nothing. I’d straightened it for so long that I never took the time to learn how to properly care for my hair. I’m still a bit unfamiliar when it comes to protein treatments and other treatments you can do to help your hair maintain it’s shine and elasticity so I’m just gonna go ahead and give a shoutout to all the brave and awesome natural youtubers that take the time and effort to upload videos for the community. Seriously, you guys are the real MVPs because I tried and I failed. 

I have yet to meet a youtuber with a similar hair density and texture as me so I started making my own videos... that quickly ended as I had no patience or motivation to keep it up. i’m thinking of restarting again but there is a time issue, I don’t have it. I really wish I could continue doing it because there is so much I want to share for people who have the same density and texture as me. It’s hard to shop for product when you don’t have anyone to reference who uses them. 

However that doesn’t stop me from enjoying some of my favorite youtubers so I’m going to list the ones I love so others can check them out!

In no particular order

Elle

Naptural85

Natural Niecey

Hey Fran Hey

there’s more but I’m drawing a blank so feel free to add your own if you like!

Rae, out!

Washing my Havana Twists

(left: before washing; right: after washing)

I’ve never left my twists in for more than a week before. Mostly because of buildup and a lack of knowledge on how to properly clean them. My sister however has more experience with extensions than I do so she offered some advice along with a few google searches.

If you’re like me and are a little extension illiterate than here are some Dos and Don’ts (based on my experiences) for cleaning your twists or braids:

DO Wash your hair before installing it.

-There are so many chemicals in processed hair that you don’t want in your head. Trust me. As someone with severe skin allergies this is not something you want to have to deal with.

DON’T use a drying shampoo when washing your hair.

-This will make the hair you’re using extremely difficult to deal with. Not fun at all.

DO make sure after you are ready to wash your scalp again, (after you’ve had the twists in for a while) that you massage your scalp with a gentle cleanser.

-This can be ACV or a mild shampoo/cowash. Just make sure it isn’t too drying.

DON’T drench your entire head in water/shampoo.

-Some people do this, not judging, but if you’re like me, and don’t have the time or patience to dry your hair before stepping out then I suggest you do not do this. Concentrate on the scalp by mixing shampoo and water in a spray bottle and spraying SMALL sections and rubbing the scalp to remove buildup. Follow up with plain water in the spray bottle to remove the shampoo. You can use a conditioner, only on the scalp, after but stay away from protein rich ones. When you drench your extensions/twists and don’t properly dry them you risk them mildewing and then the stink sets in. Not cute so if you’re like me, stick to the spray bottle.

Now I hit my roots with a blow dryer because I was going to go out but if you’re staying in and you successfully stayed on the roots with your spray then you can actually air dry!

My experience was a tad unfamiliar but it all turned out great and my hair feels great as well. I also have low density hair so buildup occurs a lot more frequently than people with high density hair so finding a way to make my twists last longer on my hair is great and I’m happy to be able to continue rocking these beauties for another 2 weeks!

Rae, out!