I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight
this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther
me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid
Learning to share toys.
the most wholesome dog video ever?
The BEST BOYS
me, ignoring everything and anything about jk rowling while enjoying hp fan content:
eye contact is so intimate im saving it for marriage
Being a millennial is getting buyer’s remorse over a $3.83 pack of oreos.
This is genuinely hilarious but fuckin terrible
He’s saltier than a McDonald’s french fry
i was speaking to a customer in Japanese once at work and my coworker overheard me and later in the break room he said to our other coworkers “man Andrew was over there speakin Naruto”
things she did twice: THAT
i had a dream last night that mothman was getting sued by the state of west virginia for accidentally breaking light posts and he hired me as his lawyer and in court i was like “now my client is a giant moth so you cant blame him for loving lights” and halfway through my speech i turned to address mothman and saw he was bumping into the courtroom lights and they broke and caused a power outage
i was watching a moth fly around my room and decided to turn on my tv and the first thing that came on screen was a court room scene of a law and order episode and i got fucking whiplash
Super blue blood moon rises behind Parthenon, in Athens January 2018
how the fuck did the ancients react to this without thinking the gods were pissed
“Alright, now my turn!”
