MY FRIEND SENT THIS TO ME IM ON THE VERGE OF TEARS

“Is there anything else you wanna say to those watching tonight?” “My favorite color is blood” “Alright”

Me: *dangling my dick off the bed*

Demon: *grabs it*

Me: what are we

rather just be in bed with you all day

2018 mood

me, all the time: i could just die and not have to do this

it’s ok to disappear for a lil while and get your shit together.

clown (self diagnosed)

sorry i missed your call i was dual wielding 

sorry i didnt text back this sword is two handed

Subtly Tries To Regulate Breathing Rate So No One Knows I Got Winded Walking Up The Stairs: a novel by me

these middle schoolers are touring campus and one of them walked by me and said “hey what’s college life like” and i told him “it sucks” and he said “well it can’t be any worse than middle school.” he’s right