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how do you guys feel about my lock screen

OP do you take constructive criticism?

there is nothing to criticize here

Who the hell organize apps by color

Mind your business

for what purpose 

i guess 

The hilarious part is that the mind flayers don’t even get to control the rats afterwards. Cranium rats’ whole deal is telepathically linking up into a super-intelligent hive mind, and while each individual rat still has the stat block of an ordinary rat, the gestalt as a whole is capable of having class levels. So now you’ve got a swarm of rats that is collectively a 20th level wizard, has a higher Intelligence score than you do, and is both willing and able to cast meteor swarm on your tentacled ass if they think you’re disrespecting them. How well did that work out for you, pal?

hey does this mean someone could play as a swarm of cranium rats in a trench coat?

I know somebody who actually did play a cranium rat swarm barbarian in an ongoing campaign several years back. I’m about 90% convinced they created that character purely as an excuse to shout “RAT RAGE”.

I had a player once play a swarm of cranium rats as, indeed, a wizard. they were incredibly egotistical and wore a full sized wizard cape over the whole swarm. on top of the tiny ones each rat wore. i will always love Lord Rodentius Squeakeasy

Despite all my rage I am still just a cranium rat mage

whoever came up with "the game" really could not have anticipated it being ingrained in millions of peoples' lives forever, right? like chances are it isn't going anywhere, we all just keep doing it

Didn't notice the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS change, and was instead desperately looking for the "had to do it to em" guy

when you're reading smut and that middle aged man has a little too much stamina

I'm really sorry that I keep rbing this and showing y'all tags but this put actual tears in my eyes

compiling my favorite "peepaw CAN fuck" tags

Btw if I say things like “by god” or “good lord” in posts please be aware I don’t mean it in a catholic way I mean it in a 1950s scientist reacting in horror after they create an evil creature in the lab set in the distant future year of 2005

io che nonostante sia atea dica “grazie agli dei” e simili perché si io non credo in niente ma miliardi di persone hanno religioni e dei differenti ed io non voglio far sentire escluso nessuno

im frankly lucky the above reblog is about how theyre an atheist because there is nothing more terrifying than saying something slightly blasphemous and seeing a paragraph of italian in your replies

I cannot stress this enough & cant believe it has to be said: DO NOT SHIP THE TWO POPES (Francis and Benedict) IN “the two popes”.

I mean it. Firstly, they’re both real people. Secondly, they’re popes. Thirdly, they’re real popes.

This post is a distant shark fin in this big blue ocean of a website

My boyfriend edited this one picture of a seal with huge wet eyes so that it had a super tiny head and it was so funny that several days later it’s all I can think about when my brain isn’t preoccupied

boyfriend here. world needs to see the image

me: i'm so obsessed with the relationship these characters have it's so compelling and unique

the relationship in question: *literally only exists in my mind*

Lo he estado usando mal todo este tiempo

this tumblr shit is easy

Fun history facts: One of the 31 people arrested at Stonewall on June 28th 1969 was American folk singer Dave Van Ronk, who was not at the Stonewall Inn at the time and was cis & straight as far as I'm aware. He'd been eating dinner at a nearby restaurant when he noticed a riot happening, said "Well I suppose I should go see what the fuss is about," stepped outside, and immediately started throwing bricks at the cops.

Ol' Davey really just saw people rioting in the streets and went "Sweet! ACAB!"

bring this energy back

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

OH MY GOD I NEEDED THIS

For the chronically anxious and/or otherwise mentally ill:

This is not a screamer, jumpscare, or any other kind of horror link I don’t know the name of. It will not cause you to question reality and as far as I’m aware, there is no reason it should cause any kind of hallucinations or psychosis. I don’t want to spoil the surprise because it’s DELIGHTFUL but I am happy to tell you it’s very sweet and gentle and also great lowkey stress relief. This is a cinnamon roll link appropriate for all ages (yes, all the way down to babies) and you will enjoy it if you click it. ❤️

Today I learned that my husband keeps a notes app on his phone that has a list of all of my favorite things including but not limited to flower, ice cream, and cocktail and I don’t know how I feel about it 😂

Oh listen I know this is very very sweet because again Husband is rocks for brain bubble man. It is hilarious to me because the list has things like

“Favorite ice cream: butter pecan. I married a little old lady.”

“Favorite Ben and Jerry’s (this is different then regular ice cream) Phish Food. Has no idea who Phish is just thinks the chocolate fish are neat”

And I feel exposed.

“Favorite flower: orchid or lily, but she can have neither because our cats are stupid demon babies spat out from hell who will eat them and perish. She would prefer chicken nuggets anyways.”

“Favorite donut: old fashioned, for breaking in half and sharing with with the dog.”

“Favorite coffee: iced. Do not offer hot coffee under any circumstance. The only hot beverage allowed is hot coco and the yearly white chocolate peppermint mocha”

Okay I don’t need to be called out like this.

the mortifying ordeal of being married.

Stop it this is hilarious