Trying-to-bring-joy

Coming to get you

She is not living rent free

please watch my favorite game changer clip ever

people who don't wear glasses don't get the added benefit of taking off your HD eyesight for a while. just. fuck it! i'm done. 240p vision time

I've seen enough.

so my tumblr app is doing this fun thing where it just shows me empty posts sometimes, because why not. and this one just really worked for me.

lord the peasants are so loud today

pheasants. PHeasants. The birds

Don't you mean classist Typo, as in discriminating against poor people, and not classicist, the type of academic who studies antiquity in southern Europe?

Oops

sure what's the worst that could happen

@uranium

i think one of the most important things you learn about making connections with others is that a significant portion of the time people just do not know theyre doing what theyre doing

sometimes someone is acting selfish because they just didnt think you had any interest in what theyre hogging. sometimes you dont get invited to the movies because your friend could have sworn that you said no. sometimes you think someone is mad at you because theyre bad at hiding how little sleep they got. we are all like little worlds that briefly crash into one another from time to time and we just arent physically capable of seeing the whole picture at once in those moments. and learning that really changed everything!

In my head, I call this "vase of flowers" thinking.

See, when I started driving, I would get irritated by people who drove Soooo Slowly... like, the ones who slow down to 10 MPH to take a turn kind of slow. And then one day I was taking a vase of flowers to an event, and even though I'd strapped it in carefully you can bet I was taking the turns extra carefully to keep it from tipping over, slowing way down, and... oh.

And, like, there are definitely unpleasant people in the world. There are definitely people who are toxic, or just don't care about other people, or have a pattern of hurtful behavior. But there are a lot of people who are just trying to deliver a vase of flowers.

smack

tumblrs cardinal sin is being tumblr

I love when Tumblr has random funny bullshit videos without any description like this and I just have to trust either that my mutuals wouldn't put unfunny things on my dash or that I've made good decisions on who to follow

Sharing the original video because nothing could prepare me for the offical sketch the police department sent.

NGL that is WAY funnier than Sasuke

plot twist

kinder surprise

the plot chickens

I love memetic communication when it gets to the point of being incomprehensible because can you imagine showing someone this picture

And asking them what Greek god it represents

#my favourite part is the people in the notes being like 'the god of children's hospitals' to be contrary#because the ball is Red#bc like. do. do they know what one of Apollo's areas of Being The God Of This Thing are?#healing and diseases#also he's like#the god of Youths#so like.yeah.#Apollo IS the god of children's hospitals actually Via @mothmammoth​

I can’t wait until my sense of taste is back. This cup of tea tastes like hot water. :(

Don’t worry, that’s normal for tea.

#girl all your post have ‘tumblr heritage post’ vibes like there’s so much 

Tags that make me indecisive about whether I should be flattered or horribly offended

My senses have returned and tea tastes normal again.

So, like hot water then?

TIL the first known case of “dying from laughing” involved the greek man called Chrysippus, who, after giving figs to his donkey, cried out “Now give the donkey a drink of pure wine to wash down the figs”, had a fit of laughter afterwards and died.

via reddit.com

pretty funny i guess

had to be there

Translation is always tricky, but I remember this slightly different:

Figs were an imported delicacy at the time, and the donkey just managed to eat them (without being given any on purpose). Seeing a donkey eating several times their own value in figs, the philosopher looked to his servant who might have been standing there either in shock, despair, or both, and said something along the lines of “Oh don’t just stand there. Get him some (undiluted) wine to wash the figs down with”. With (undiluted) wine also being an expensive drink.

I feel like that context makes it funnier. Basically like standing in front of your burning mansion with a butler, meeting their eyes, and telling them that you still feel a little chilly and ask them if they could put on an extra log or two.

idk what’s funnier, the burning house situation, or being the butler as you watch your master laugh so hard at his own joke that he fully fucking dies.