trying to get the oscar mayer forbidden snacks

update

like icarus before me, I have flown too close to the sun and now I have to eat a box of these for my hubris

they’re here. let’s do this.

Reaction time!

Okay, reaction time! I was blown away by how much I liked this at first. The bun tastes like those cookies that are supposed to be those tins that grandmas put sewing supplies in, and the hot dog bits are subtle but add some nice saltiness 

But then I hit the mustard gelato

Mustard and dessert should never mix and this half of the sandwich is God’s warning to mankind. I feel like I’ve been ambushed and smacked with the broadside of a chemical tank

me: game of thrones has become a nonsensical, masturbatory trash fire that not only strays from the source material, but tells the exact opposite story, one that relies on the same boring fatalistic tropes that george rr martin sought to trouble in asoiaf. on top of this, the abject lack of any mainstream criticism for the show cultivates an environment in which any critique is quickly disregarded. this in turn creates a space for apology and the wholesale transmission of marginalizing messages. disability, for example, is only “explored” through its weaponization (jaime figuring out how to use his golden hand in a fight rather than exploring what it means to lose his identity as a fighter, the one thing he’s ever been good at), and women are only presented as strong when they reject femininity (brienne insulting jaime by saying he “sounds like a bloody woman,” arya saying “most girls are idiots,” etc.) and seek out violent vengeance. all of this is cut in favor of Shocking Moments™ meant for water cooler conversation that eventually lead to diminishing returns. a story about shattered identity and the futility of vengeance has turned into The Show About Nothing That Kills A Lot Of Characters. the fact that the acclaim for this show seems to actually grow with further disregard for themes or character development is deeply disheartening, and I personally can no longer engage with the show on any level other than hate-watching as a therapeutic measure

hbo store:

me:  👀 👀 👀

this post is from 3 seasons ago

My favorite Gordon Ramsay moment is when his food was too slow so he took a jog and then fell asleep

Nobody: Will Byers: Can we play D&D?

in 20 years this post will be totally incomprehensible

I REFUSE to let that happen

Um… how the fuck is there a lure on an unreachable pokestop? Like, I’m watching this thing, and there are no boats near it. Why is there a stop even out there?

I mean, I have a kayak at home. I could go get it and paddle out there just to see what the deal is. Is it worth it?

I AM FUCKING DOING THIS.

I am literally sitting here in a kayak catching pokemon, and I still can’t figure out how someone got a lure on this pokestop. It’s just me out here, no other boats, like what the hell. People on the shore are staring at me. I can feel them judging me for actually paddling out to this pokestop. GOTTA CATCH EM ALL.

When I got back to the shore, a guy asked me if he could borrow my kayak to get the pokestop, and now I’m charging people $10 a pop to use it.

Pokemon is amazing this is like those moments when you would play the games and you gotta use “Surf” to see what item’s on the sandbar across the way

My first instinct was to dismiss this as a fabrication but then i remembered that summer 2016 was just like that

This was the purest thing to happen in recent memory.

This post starts circulating again every year on the anniversary of PGo’s release.

what did i find at goodwill

talking to my infant son like im a youtuber

Whats up baby. Father here bringing you another spoonful of Gerber ham and gravy baby food

I can’t stop laughing at this

This year, remember to establish your superiority in the family by taking the first napkin at Christmas dinner and yelling:

I thought I’d post a bunch of these together for you all to enjoy.

These are only nine images from an Illustrated Guide to Star Trek Food and Beverages that I’m working on. There will be 45 total beverages and 20 total food items. Also included in the book will be food and alcoholic drink recipes, all of which I plan on creating from scratch with a friend of mine, who is a professional bartender.

Please don’t reblog this saying I missed this drink or missed that drink, or why the hell isn’t there Scotty drinking Scotch, or why isn’t there Scotty’s mysterious green drink (which is Aldebaran Whiskey by the way)?!?!?! Trust me, whatever you can come up with, it’s on my to do list. I’m not a casual Star Trek fan…Star Trek is my life.

notorious C H U N K Y

My mood rn

u lie down and its like (• ) ( •) and thats just how it is

You lie on your side and it’s just (•)(• )

what kind of eyes do y’all have