Feeling Dysphoric (Crosshair x AFAB! NB Reader)
Rating: T Pairing: Crosshair x AFAB! NB Reader Word Count: 697 Summary: You're feeling dysphoric about your chest because you haven't gotten top surgery yet so your introverted boyfriend tries to comfort you CW: Dysphoria, also my brain has designated Crosshair a secret softie under the grumpy exterior so here y'all go it's some softie Crosshair Note: As a (sadly) AFAB nonbinary person myself with the same issue (even though I have been called flat a few times but hey, accidental validation?), this felt right to write, and I also need a healthy dose of fluff with Crosshair in it for no reason
Also random thing I was listening to the Undertale soundtrack as I was writing this and that shit's a fucking vibe bro
Every time. Every fucking time you look in the mirror or have to look down at your chest, that long-familiar dread fills you up.
You'd already consulted a doctor about top surgery, and you were waiting to see what they'd say. For three months. Even at the beginning, your dysphoria had never been this bad. Maybe it's the anxiety about the call being mixed in, but you aren't sure. You're just scrolling through some random feed on your phone when you feel a kiss to the top of your head, and you smile despite your earlier gloom. "Hey. Done with your nap?"
You would've joined Crosshair for his nap—and his cuddling, which despite his grumpiness, he gives really good cuddles—but you're so wired with anxiety that you can't sleep. "Yeah." he mutters, voice taking on a drowsy quality from being asleep for so long as he puts his head on your shoulder. "You should've joined me. Spotter did, and she snuggled up to my side."
Spotter is your guys' cat—a two-year old female calico with amber eyes and a bit of a vocal disposition. She's also really cuddly and despite Crosshair's initial grumbling about getting a cat, you and him both know he loves her to death. "That sounds nice." you reply, a little listless. "You get the call yet?" he asks, seemingly picking up on your gloom. He's been with you every step of the way for this, and has become the number one supporter of your gender identity, unlike the bigots and sycophants from your high school days.
You sigh a bit as you shake your head. "Not yet." you mutter, a little dejected, before feeling silky fur in your lap. You look down, being painfully conscious of your chest, and you smile as Spotter settles down. Her purring settles you a bit as you pet her soft fur, though it doesn't do much. Crosshair hums a bit and takes his head off your shoulder. "I'm gonna go make us some ramen." He runs a soft hand along your jawline before going to the kitchen. "Be right back."
After about four minutes, he comes back with two packs of ramen (those pre-made containers) of your guys' favorite spicy beef ramen, along with forks. Spotter's still in your lap, so it's a feat to make sure she doesn't eat your ramen. Crosshair hands you your container and you smile a bit, as you dig in and he sits beside you. "Bones marathon?" he asks.
"Bones marathon." you agree. Bones is your guys' favorite show, and you're currently on season 8, episode 6 out of 12 seasons. You grab the remote, he puts an arm around you, and tucks you close to his side. You guys stay like this for a few hours, binging, cuddling—Spotter moves to a space between your bodies where there's the most body heat—and finishing your ramen. When your phone buzzes with a call in your pocket, you pause the episode, grab it and pick up. "Hello?"
"This is Mx. Y/N L/N, right?" the doctor's voice has you almost dropping your phone. "Y—yeah, that's me." you stutter, anxiety ratcheting your pulse up and making your leg bounce.
"Sorry it took so long to get back to you on your consultation about top surgery, but we have an opening."
Your jaw almost separates from your face. An opening. "F—for real?" you ask, trying to make sure you're in reality right now. The doctor chuckles good-naturedly on the other end of the line. "Yes, for real. When are you available for an appointment?"
After the whole appointment planning stuff, you hang up with end-of-call pleasantries. Crosshair looks at you, a small smile on his face—besides, his smiles are only common for you and for Spotter. "You got it?" he asks. You smile back and nod, and he leans in to press a quick, soft kiss to the tip of your nose. "I'm happy for you, babe." he murmurs, this being one of the rare times he uses a pet name for you.
You hum and put your head on Crosshair's shoulder, petting Spotter as you resume the Bones episode you guys are on.
