a mysterious metal monolith identical to the one recently found in utah has just been discovered in the hinterlands

i’ve seen a couple different people talking about how Yakuza 0 was right there to catch MGS’s fanbase when MGS ended and nothing proves that more than seeing people argue over whether Majima is gay or not

like it’s exactly the same as when people were arguing over whether or not Ocelot is gay

one half is saying “no its a complex foreign culture thing to taunt your opponent by blah blah blah” and the other half is saying “did you play the fucking game? he kisses kiryu on the mouth” 

it’s exactly the same 

IT’S THE FUCKING SAME

there’s nothing purer or better than how much kids enjoy being picked up and then hurled at soft surfaces

anyone who’s ever been around kids for ay meaningful amount of time should know exactly how much kids long to be hefted up and then just fuckin tossed! it’s so good! they’re so excited to get fucking tossed around like a sack of potatoes it’s so pure

Why do kids love it so much? Like I remember when I was a kid at diving practice during the summer, the best part was when one if the coaches would toss you into the deep end. And in gymnastics coaches would toss us into the foam pit. Do kids just have a evolutionary urge to die?

https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/why-kids-wont-listen/

“Vestibular sense provides information about where the body is in relation to its surroundings. This is the sense that helps you understand balance, and it connects with all the other senses.

When the vestibular system does not develop properly all other senses will struggle to function properly. Without a strong vestibular sense, kids will have no choice but to fidget, get frustrated, experience more falls and aggression, get too close to people when talking, and struggle with focusing and listening. Because they literally cannot help it.”

“Here are a few ways to support your child’s vestibular sense:

Yeeting kids, spinning them, flipping them upside down, tossing them in the air, and otherwise disrupting their balance temporarily, is Important For Their Development, specifically for their vestibular sense.

Kids love this because they NEED it.

In other words: Don’t forget to calibrate your child’s GPS!

YEET THE CHILD FOR THEIR HEALTH

Hi! Paediatric Occupational Therapist here who yeets children into pillows for a living. It’s actually more than the vestibular system! It’s also giving them proprioception, which is the feeling of your joints and muscles / where your body is in space! 

We all seek proprioceptive input, leaning against walls, pushing against the steering wheel when driving, giving your body a squeeze to wake yourself up, the list goes on! When we ‘crash’ kids into soft things like pillows or beds, we’re waking their bodies up AND calming their bodies down! In other words, getting them into this super nice zone of “just right” regulation. 

When I see a child who is bouncing off the walls and can’t seem to stand still for more than a few seconds? I start wrestling with them, crashing them into pillows, giving their body the right amount of input they need to feel good and organised. And suddenly, this kid is able to sit and play attentively or do their handwriting practice. It’s amazing! If you want to know more about why the vestibular and proprioceptive systems are awesome at making your body feel good, google those two words (and sensory processing) and read through some occupational therapy websites! 

Side note: As adults, does your body ever feel jittering/jiggly/wiggly/like it needs to move or calm down but you just can’t figure out why? That’s your sensory system saying Hey! I need to feel differently in order to function better! Here’s what you can do:

Long story short, everyone has a sensory system and we all use regulation strategies like the ones listed above to help make our body feel better. So if you ever see someone (especially kids!) fidgeting and having a hard time focusing, maybe suggest something from the list above!

Are you telling me that push ups are the cure for ADHD leg bounce?

Push-ups have always been the cure for the ADHD leg bounce but for some reason no one wants to hear it.

…you know…dancing…exists. We have other workout options. Even jogging is better then pushups damn we’re not in solitary confinement in a coffin sized prison cell we have options besides pushups, the most boring workout ever invented.

And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.

Suck it, katana

And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.

Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.

Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.

In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.

You slam any blade into any other blade and one of them is at least going to get chipped, because you’re NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO THAT.

Medieval European / Japanese sword-fighting manuals didn’t have “Now Clang the Swords Together and Totally Ruin Them For No Good Reason Whatsoever” sections. That sword-clanging crap is from movies because you want to show a 2 minute dancey sword-fight and have to do something during that time, because in real sword fights it’s either over in 25 seconds with one guy on the ground, dead, or it goes on for 4 hours as two guys in armor wear themselves out, slamming the broad sides of the sword against the armor.

Swords aren’t lightsabers.

This is like proving a Volkswagen Beetle is a “crap car” by running it into a bridge pylon at 85 mph. It’s a pointless demonstration, because you’re not supposed to do that.

Neither one of these weapons was invented to cut another sword in half, Both were invented to cut a GUY in half. In slightly different ways, but still.

oh my god thank you

this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye

these are all the geek equivalents of Lovecraft’s Cat’s Name

his cats name couldn’t be that bad!!!! it’s a cat, what’s the worst name?

i am wrong, what the fuck

Me every time this post comes back

This? An utterly scorching take.

Could someone tell my why the FUCk we’re getting a video game called ‘Lord of the Rings: Gollum’ Gollum? Gollum??? You wanna play as Gollum!!?? fucking GOLLUM??? I don’t care how much you love Gollum as a character, does that mean you wanna play as him snatching babies from cribs and eating raw fish for 8 hours?? Are you SURE??

it is a beautiful day in the misty mountains and you are a horrible gollum

 …. ok I’ve changed my mind, game of the year 2021

Press Y to make the ‘gollum gollum’ noise

Never dismiss your feelings (x)

“Ten-year-olds are the most frightening people on the planet. I think we all remember being ten, where making eye contact during recess meant you were going to have a Pokemon battle, and the winner got to keep the loser’s lunch money.

“But as an adult, seeing the kids who are off on their Pokemon journeys, swaggering along, ready to fight anybody and everybody they meet, up to and including God, it really hits you. These children will fight you, and when they win, your best bet is to just throw twenty dollars on the ground and flee in the other direction.

“The worst ones are the ones with six Pokeballs on their belt. You’re like, I possess one elderly Snubbull, and for all I know, you’ve got a Rayquaza in one of those balls. 

“And sometimes, you hear stories. Like, ‘a ten-year-old boy dismantled Team Rocket’. Or ‘a ten-year-old girl dismantled two terrorist organizations and then tamed the primal manifestations of earth and sea’. I think you could tell me a ten-year-old did anything, and I wouldn’t question it. 

“To be honest, I think the Pokemon Leagues are just there to keep those kids occupied so they don’t just take over.”

So this is the material John Mulaney performs in the pokemon world

Soulsborne protagonists are all so great cuz they just keep doing shit one moment to the next without being phased. Their actions don’t appear premeditated and they have no apparent malice; stuff just happens and they react to it

In cutscenes they always seem mildly baffled but otherwise their emotional range doesn’t stray much beyond “yikes!”

They’re just a little idiot bumping their way through treacherous territory going “haha whoops” at every deadly encounter.

Remember when Jeff Bezos, who is worth 181 billion USD donated 690k to stopping Australian fires? Yeah, me too.

whenever I’m tired or hungry I hear the guildmaster from the original fable in my head

Me: *has a rough day at work*

My brain: your health is low. Do you have any potions? Or food?