WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK???????????

bruh.

Obviously he’s the reason we are forced to learn the recorder in 4th grade. His lessons clearly paid off.

OMG

The Nightly Show, August 3, 2015

SAY IT AGAIN

Snatch this mf toupee

Yes, yes, yes!

Reblogged instantly when I read “Snatch this mf toupee.”

Please reblog if you think it's wrong for a 50 year old man to check out a 14 year old

My stepfather thinks it’s okay to sexualize girls my sister’s age and I’m trying to prove a point because he doesn’t seem to think that’s wrong

why does this have only 1000 notes

Dear lord, as a 52 year old man with a 16 year old daughter it’s painful to even contemplate this scenario.  That guy needs professional help.

This is feminism

Why did he put on like three different hats

Hat equality

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

Amazing

Drunk boys: will gather into a huge pack and harass people passing by.

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

this is a nice post

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

I went to a concert alone and the 3 girls next to me were drunk and one of them sat by me and goes “you’re here alone” and i said yes and she goes “no you’re not! yo’re with us!” and turns to her friends and goes “she’s with us now she’s our friend” and then continued to apologize for being drunk while telling me i was pretty

this is so GOOD and PUre

my heart is exploding this is just the best thing ever

the signs as….fuck i dont know *spins wheel* dish soaps

i don’t even care at this point i am so desperate for more astrology posts like someone please tell me if im cucumber melon or fresh bamboo

the amount of pressure put on the last guy

He rose to the occasion

Narrating People’s Lives: At the Science Center! 🔬 (The future is bright XD)

“Story time! After months of research she concluded that in fifty years, all men would be extinct.”

“Yes!”

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT LAUGHING OUT LOUD WAS UNTIL THIS MOMENT

ok but why was tumblr so quiet when pharaoh wouldn’t let moses’ people go 👀🐸☕️

One more time for the people in the back

this is how everybody in england look

i think its dumb if drug dealers get sentenced to longer in prison than rapists?? like people ask for drugs but no one asks for rape???

Reblogging for the 1 million time because fucking realest thing I’ve read on tumblr.

They care more about the money than the people

This Rescued Baby Otter Will Shock You With Its Fluffiness

THIS IS SO CUTE IT MAKES ME PHYSICALLY ANGRY

OH. MY. GOD.