Questionnaire Entry

Lastly

questionaire

Questionairre Submission

I think genderqueer is a general term for anyone who feels like their sense of self doesn’t fit into the gender-binary view of society.  It’s a description for anyone who doesn’t identify as just a man or just a woman.  Like any label, it’s all up to the individual whether or not they want to use this word to describe themself and what exactly they mean when they use it though.

I just define my gender as genderqueer.  I identify somewhere between a man/boy and a woman/girl.  Sometimes I feel more like I don’t really have a gender and I am just me, and sometimes I feel a more strong sense of gender identity.  I also still feel like I am still figuring things out, so I am hesitant to put too much of a label on it at this point.

I’ve always felt like there was something “wrong” with me, but now I know at least part of that is related to my gender identity and now I have a name for what it is that feels off.  I’ve actually identified as genderqueer for about a year now.

I’m not really out.  I’ve stated it in round-about ways and I feel like some people, especially queer people, sort of know.  Making the big changes to my physical presentation has been the closest thing I’ve done to “coming out”, and for the most part, my friends have been very accepting.  I have got a couple comments like “I wasn’t sure about your haircut at first, but now I’ve gotten used to it,” and quite a few people have just had really neutral reactions, but none of my friends have been assholes about it.

I haven’t discussed it with my family.  They have also been less supportive of the changes in my physical appearance, although my family is honestly sort of hesitant about change in general.  They’ve made some sort of shitty cheerful comments about my haircut and clothes, but mostly I know they just don’t understand so we have started just not talking about it.  I know my family isn’t going to disown me or anything, and they will always love me and support me no matter what.  I just worry they won’t be able to understand and/or support and love this part of me, which is still tough.

I’ve been slightly more distant with my family than I’ve been in the past, which makes me really sad.  For coping in general, I go to counseling and also just try to let myself feel my emotions and not make too much meaning out of people’s little comments and my own negative thoughts.  I write poetry and journal sometimes, and often I’ve been turning to the internet to make me feel less lonely.  I want to stop spending as much time online, but it is helpful in that I can at least know there are other genderqueer people struggling and surviving out there.

Bathrooms are the main thing probably.  At college, there are quite a few gender-neutral bathrooms scattered around campus, but many of them are in out-of-the-way inconvenient locations and often I just decide it’s not worth it.  I hardly ever use the men’s 1. Because I’ve heard too many stories of people getting beat up and harrassed in men’s bathrooms, and 2. When I’m in a familiar location I don’t want to run into someone I know in the men’s bathroom and then feel like I have to explain myself.  I’ve had very few problems at the women’s at college, but a few times people have done a double-take or asked if they’re in the wrong bathroom, and that’s just awkward.

At home, it’s even worse, because there are very very few ungendered bathrooms anywhere.  I avoid using public bathrooms as much as possible- this has involved somewhat reducing my water intake and peeing alongside the road rather than stop at gas stations.  However, I still use women’s restrooms quite a bit and just try to be stealthy and get in and out as quickly as possible.

I hate the situation where someone else gets uncomfortable or confused about my gender in public, because I am never sure what to say to them.  I’m also super afraid of people “he/him/sir”ing me in front of my family.

In an ideal world, gender identity wouldn’t be an automatic assumption and it would be much less of a big deal.  I guess I want people to perceive me as an androgynous/genderqueer person, because that’s what I am, but on a base level I mostly want people to just perceive me as a normal person much bigger than my gender identity and gender expression.

Any pronouns are fine.  I’ve never really had a problem with she/her/hers, but I also don’t mind the other pronouns and it’s nice to have a little variety.

I present myself fairly  androgynously, but I seem to be shifting slowly toward a more masculine expression as far as clothes and hair goes.

This last year, I’ve been going through a lot of general self-acceptance, and a lot of that was related to my gender.  I’ve started to feel much more comfortable in my own body, much more comfortable in social situations, and I have been less depressed since acknowledging and accepting my gender identity within myself.  I’ve been taking better care of myself as well.

I sure have!  I cut my hair from long, always in a ponytail, to just a few inches long, and I’ve been dressing much more “masculinely”.  I actually started wearing pants since I found ones that I feel like myself in.

In some ways, it’s become easier and in some ways it’s harder.  I actually enjoy getting new clothes now, so that part’s more rewarding.  I often go to Goodwill to clothes shop and that is always at least sort of enjoyable.  However, finding clothes that fit is harder because I only really like men’s shirts but I only fit into men’s small or extra small or sometimes boy’s large or extra-large, and those are all sizes they often don’t stock.  Also, men’s pants are usually too tight around the waist or just super huge, and I hate having to try on so many different clothes before finding the right thing.  Also, gendered changing rooms make me uncomfortable for the same reasons bathrooms do, so that part is hard. I sometimes just guess/hope it will fit, and I have accidentally bought clothes that don’t fit me quite a few times.

I actually don’t really experience dysphoria.  I feel pretty comfortable and like myself in my body.

1.Am I in the wrong bathroom?

2.Is it true that you have pet guinea pigs?

1.Nope!

2.Yes!

Don’t be too hard on yourself, prioritize whatever would enable your life to be most meaningful to you and take little steps to get there.  Don’t get too caught up in wading through labels or following a specific journey to achieve genderqueer/trans-ness.  Your journey is for you.

Again, don’t get caught up in wading through labels, and don’t feel pressure to ever “know” or completely understand your gender.  It’s complicated, and sometimes not even important.  Just focus on figuring out what you need in order to feel most like yourself and most fulfilled in life.  Take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help.  Counseling has been great for me.

Lastly

Anonymous please!

Non-binary questionnaire

Q: How old are you? (for reference) A: 15 and a half

Q: How you personally define what genderqueer is? In your experience and perspective. A: I see is as not being cis or trans but being in the middle somehow

Q: How do you identify? For example, are you, agender, bigender, pangender, genderfluid, neutrois, genderqueer or label less/Undefined. If Other please explain. A: non-binary (basically gender queer but it describes it better)

Q: How long have you identified that way/how long have you known? A: Well ive know for a while ive just never come to terms with it.

Q: If you are out, how accepting have your friends been? A: im not out yet..

Q: If you are out, how accepting has your family been? A: im not out but my parents are against this kinda thing 100%

Q: If either group is not accepting, how do you cope? A: I dont. I just bottle up everything.

Q: What are some specific things that you struggle with on a daily basis? A: trying to dress how I feel but also being feminine because I am not out.

Q: How do you want to be perceived? in an ideal world what are the reactions you want people to have to you and your identity? A: I would want them to understand and accept me.

Q: What pronouns do you prefer? Is it hard for you to get people to use them? A: I’d prefer they/them but im not out so people use she/her

Q: How do you present yourself? Masculinely, femininely or androgynously? A: im not sure how to describe it cause I just wear my school hoodie and jeans all the time. But I wear makeup. So I guess feminine.

Q: Have you made any major non physical changes in your life since identifying with your gender? A: no…I want to tho…

Q: Have you made any major changes to your appearance since identifying with your gender? A: no…

Q: Is buying clothing a difficult process for you? A: yes…very much so…

Q: How strongly, if at all, do you experience dysphoria, and how do you handle it? A: moderately. And I bottle it up.

Q: What questions do you frequently get asked? A: none

Q: And what answers do you usually give? A: none

Q: What advice would you give to a fellow genderqueer person? A: I would tell them to be who they are no matter what…and to try and come out to as many people as possible when you figure it out because it is almost to late for me…

Q: What advice would you give to someone who is questioning? A: only you can determine who you are…

Q: Can I post this on this blog or do I need to make it anonymous? A: You can post it. It might help me come out. And if you have an instagram account you can do it there as well and tag me.

Questionnaire Entry

•How old are you? (for reference) • 21

•How you personally define what genderqueer is? In your experience and perspective. • An umbrella term/identity that covers a wide variety of ways of identifying oneself that don’t belong to the gender binary. It can be a single identity on its own or it can refer to a bunch.

•How do you identify? For example, are you, agender, bigender, pangender, genderfluid, neutrois, genderqueer or label less/Undefined. If Other please explain. •. I generally identify as genderqueer or non-binary.

•How long have you identified that way/how long have you known? • I’ve known and identified this way for a few months now, I can’t remember exactly how long.

•If you are out, how accepting have your friends been? • I am out to my friends. They have mostly been very accepting. A few have a lot of questions as they don’t quite understand but other than that my friends accept it.

•If you are out, how accepting has your family been? • I am not out to my family and I do not plan to be. I do not believe they will be accepting of my identity nor will they grow to understand it.

•If either group is not accepting, how do you cope? • If I feel a friend doesn’t accept who I am I will try to help them understand because most of the time it’s just that they don’t get it. If they are consistently mean or invalidating about it I will try to avoid talking to or seeing them.

•What are some specific things that you struggle with on a daily basis? • My voice: I have such a high pitched voice at times I worry about appearing too feminine. My chest: I want to bind but I’m afraid of side effects. I like my breasts but sometimes I want to not associate with them. Put them in the naughty corner if you will. Not being ‘trans’ enough: so many people misunderstand me for being female, which is understandable, but also attitudes towards non-binary people by other trans people sometimes make me feel a little invalid. Figuring out what it means to be genderqueer: terms aside. I have a lot of trouble with it. Being mistaken for gender fluid: no I’m not having a 'masc day’ I’m just wearing jeans?

•How do you want to be perceived? in an ideal world what are the reactions you want people to have to you and your identity? • I don’t want people to have to worry about what gender I am. I want asking for people’s preferred pronouns to be just a normal thing people do in every day conversations. I want people to treat me with the same respect I treat them. I’m a person, no matter what I look like or how I identify. I don’t feel it should matter.

•What pronouns do you prefer? Is it hard for you to get people to use them? • I prefer they/them pronouns. It has been difficult getting people to use them, partly because I’m afraid to correct people. I was ok with people using she/her pronouns in the beginning because I know how I was with learning pronouns, it was a long process. Anyway. Now I’m tired of people doing it all the time and consider it misgendering.

•How do you present yourself? Masculinely, femininely or androgynously? • This is a big issue for me. I don’t exactly know. At the moment I’m happily presenting as female but I don’t want to be misgendered as BEING female and the only way I believe I can do that is by appearing androgynous or masculine. I do not wish to appear masculine at this point in time. Androgyny is hard and confusing for me.

•Have you made any major non physical changes in your life since identifying with your gender? • Nope

•Have you made any major changes to your appearance since identifying with your gender? • I have cut my hair short in an attempt to appear more androgynous, i have attempted several different clothing styles to find which I am most comfortable with and so far 'whatever fits and I like’ is the winner.

•Is buying clothing a difficult process for you? • Buying clothing was a difficult process before my gender identity changed because I have such a unique figure. It’s still difficult. Moreso now that I’m hyper aware of gendered clothing and get super confused about how to deal with not fitting the binary of either. Like, do I shop in the men’s section today or do I want a pretty dress?? To be perfectly honest buying men’s clothing intimidates the hell out of me. I basically feel like I’m being judged by all knowing eyes.

•How strongly, if at all, do you experience dysphoria, and how do you handle it? • At first I wasn’t sure if I did, but now I understand what it is and how I experience it, I believe I do. I don’t experience it often or strongly but when I do it’s a very confusing time for me. I generally experience it around family and other situations when I’m forced into the binary. I handle it by talking to my partner and close friends about it as much as possible, without overwhelming myself or them. I give myself positive mental feedback, I do grounding exercises, I take a nap…. And then oversleep… Whoops.

•What questions do you frequently get asked? • Well the obvious would be what being non binary actually is. But other than that, “why do you dress/act so feminine if you don’t conform to the binary?” Is a common one.

And what answers do you usually give? • I usually explain that I have identified as a cisgender female almost my whole life. It’s partially force of habit but I also love pretty dresses and stuff.

•What advice would you give to a fellow genderqueer person? • Everyone is different. Someone who identifies as genderqueer may have a completely different experience and world view to you. Accept your differences and see what you can learn from each other. Help each other if you can.

•What advice would you give to someone who is questioning? • Take your time, it’s not a race. You’re not missing out and you’re definitely not a 'special snowflake’.

•Lastly Can i post this on this blog or do i need make it anonymous? • You can post this :)

Questionnaire Entry

* How old are you? (for reference) * 21

* How you personally define what genderqueer is? In your experience and perspective. * I define it as not completely fitting in on either side of the gender spectrum.

* How do you identify? For example, are you, agender, bigender, pangender, genderfluid, neutrois, genderqueer or label less/Undefined. If Other please explain. * I identify as gender fluid.

* How long have you identified that way/how long have you known? * I have known that something was different since I was 9, but I just recently realized the term for my identity.

* If you are out, how accepting have your friends been? * I’m not exactly out, but I’m not closeted either, my friends accept me as I am.

* If you are out, how accepting has your family been? * I tried coming out to my family as a teen, but my family didn’t accept it and sent me to councilors.

* If either group is not accepting, how do you cope? * I just don’t let it bother me.

* What are some specific things that you struggle with on a daily basis? * Being confident in who I am and not being shy because I’m afraid of how people will react.

* How do you want to be perceived? in an ideal world what are the reactions you want people to have to you and your identity? * Just to accept me as is.

* What pronouns do you prefer? Is it hard for you to get people to use them? * I’m planing on changing my name to a more androgynous one, other wise however I present.

* How do you present yourself? Masculinely, femininely or androgynously? * Depends on the day, but typically androgynous or feminine.

* Have you made any major non physical changes in your life since identifying with your gender? * No

* Have you made any major changes to your appearance since identifying with your gender? * Cut my hair, bought a binder, and some more masculine clothes.

* Is buying clothing a difficult process for you? * Yes, I’m really petite and that makes sizes hard, also the looks I get in stores.

* How strongly, if at all, do you experience dysphoria, and how do you handle it? * Somewhat, I used to despise my chest, but over years of trying to be binary I grew to accept it.

* What questions do you frequently get asked?  * If I’m a lesbian, I’m poly.

* And what answers do you usually give? * Not all genetic females with short hair are lesbians.

* What advice would you give to a fellow genderqueer person? * To accept yourself first.

* What advice would you give to someone who is questioning? * To be patient and don’t be afraid to experiment.

Lastly * Can i post this on this blog or do i need make it anonymous? * Yes you can post it, without it being anonymous.

Questionaire

How old are you? (for reference)

Lastly

Questionnaire

Lastly

Questionnaire Submission

Q - How old are you?

A - 20

Q - How do you personally define what genderqueer is?  In your experience and perspective.

A - Genderqueer is someone who doesn't fit into a specific gender category.  They feel in the middle, as if nothing is black and white.

Q - How do you identify?  For example, are you, agender, bigender, pangender, genderfluid, neutrois, genderqueer or label less/undefined.  If other, please explain.

A - Genderfluid, but mainly neutral.

Q - How long have you identified that way/how long have you known?

A - I've known for sure for about four months, although I've had feelings before that I just pushed to the back of my mind.

Q - If you are out, how accepting have your friends been?

A - I've only come out to 2 friends. One is also genderfluid, the other didn't understand at all. He kept telling me that I should just suck it up and act 'normal'.

Q - If you are out, how accepting has your family been?

A - I'm not out to my family yet, but I think my mum has a sort of idea.

Q - If either group is not accepting, how do you cope?

A - Well, when my friend wasn't accepting, I just cut myself off.  I mean, I wouldn't want friends like that anyway.

Q - What are some specific things you struggle with on a daily basis?

A - I get dysphoria a lot.  Sometimes I'll just lay in bed questioning my gender, and confused by the fact over 50% of the time I'm completely neutral.  When I'm having a masculine day, I can never make myself look masculine enough.  My hair seems too long, and I can't afford a binder (although I'm pretty flat chested anyway so a sports bra tends to do the trick).  When I'm having a feminine day I can never find anything I feel comfortable wearing, since my clothes are neutral/masculine.  I don't own many feminine clothes.

Q - How do you want to be perceived?  In an ideal world what are the reactions you want people to have to you and your identity?

A - I just wish no one was too concerned about what other people wear and how they act.  I want to be able to go into a shop and buy mens clothes without people giving me dirty looks/questioning me.  

Q -  What pronouns do you prefer?  Is it hard for you to get people to use them?

A - In honesty, I haven't really come out to many people, so my pronouns haven't changed.  It slightly depends on the day, but mainly when I'm feeling neutral, I don't really mind what pronouns are used.

Q - How do you present yourself?  Masculinely, femininely or androgynously?

A - androgynously

Q - Have you made any major non-physical changes in your life since identifying with your gender?

A - I try to be more comfortable with myself now.  My self confidence is getting better, since I now feel I can dress how I want around the house without my mum saying all too much.  And I feel since coming out to my best friend, we've become a lot closer.

Q - Have you made any major changes to you appearance since identifying with your gender?

A - Not yet.  I'm too scared to make major changes, since I haven't come out yet.  I don't want any more awkward questions than I already get.

Q - Is buying clothing a difficult process for you?

A - I get weird looks a lot, and it makes me uncomfortable.  And male clothing is always a bit too big.  But I prefer that to girls clothes which never look neutral enough.  They're always tight/restricting.  The majority of my clothes are masculine/gender neutral.

Q - How strongly, if at all, do you experience dysphoria, and how you do handle it?

A - Quite strongly on some days.  When I'm feeling particularly in one gender, none of my clothes feel quite right.  It takes forever for me to feel comfortable going anywhere.

Q - What questions do you frequently get asked?

A - Why don't you dress up nice like your sister?

You're not good at this whole 'girl' thing are you? (referring to make up and stuff)

Why do you want to get muscle?  That's a guy thing.

Do you OWN girls clothes?

Q - And what answers do you usually give?

A - Just because I'm not wearing a dress doesn't mean I don't look nice.

Just because I have a vagina doesn't instantly make me a make up god.

Doesn't warrant a reply.

Also doesn't warrant a reply.

Q - What advice would you give a fellow genderqueer person?

A - Don't worry too much about what others think of you.  Do what feels right for you.  If others have a problem, then they aren't as important in your life as you thought they were.  And don't worry if you have days where you feel that you don't fit into any category, because it doesn't matter if you're in a category as long as your happy with the way you look.  Screw the rest of the world.

Q - What advice would you give to someone who is questioning?

A - Take some time and think.  Don't rush into labeling yourself.  Try talking to a friend or family member who you trust.

Q - Can I post this on this blog, or do I need to make it anonymous?

A - Yeah sure, post it.  I thought I'd come out online first and see how people react before coming out to my friends and family.

Questionaire

Q: How old are you? 

A: 18

Q: How you personally define what genderqueer is? In your experience and perspective.

A: That's a hard question to answer, and I'm still trying to find the words to explain it to my friends, family and anyone else who asks. I guess the most effective way I have to describe it right now is just constantly being in a state of flux, and not really having a solid identity. In my experience anyway, it seems like cis people (and even a lot of trans people) are very solid and adamant in their identity. It's something that they feel in their bones that says distinctly "I am a woman" or "I am a man." I find I don't have that. Some days I feel more like a woman, some days I feel more like a man, most days I feel more like a combination, or neither. 

Q: How do you identify? For example, are you, agender, bigender, pangender, genderfluid, neutrois, genderqueer or label less/Undefined. If Other please explain.

A: Currently I just identify as genderqueer.

Q: How long have you identified that way/how long have you known?

A: Looking back, I've kind of always known. I'd often try and hide it to fit in and to try and relate better to other people, but it's only been in the past two years that I've started identifying as genderqueer.

Q: If you are out, how accepting have your friends been?

A: They're all pretty chill with it, although most of them have a lack of understanding about it. Which is fine. It's not a big deal.

Q: If you are out, how accepting has your family been?

A: They don't believe that genderqueer is a thing. They're just kind of like "You're you, you've always been you. You're a girl, you've always been a girl," which is annoying if it does happen to come up, but it rarely comes up. Again, it's not a big deal for me.

Q: If either group is not accepting, how do you cope?

A: They're all chill with it, so.

Q: What are some specific things that you struggle with on a daily basis?

A: Mainly it's "accepting my femininity." My mother is really into the "sacred power of the feminine energy" and stuff like that. Which works for her and her friends, and that's fine, but I have a hard time getting her to realize that it doesn't work for me, and has in the past caused a lot of depression and frustration because it doesn't work for me. It still bothers me sometimes, it's this feeling of being a really crappy woman, like "I should use my intuitive senses more," and "I should accept my inner goddess and the gift of being able to bring forth life" and stuff like that. It's probably an uncommon issue to have, at least in the sense that it's presented to me, but it's a thing. The most annoying part about it though is probably having no one to talk to when it bothers me.

Q: How do you want to be perceived? in an ideal world what are the reactions you want people to have to you and your identity?

A: That's a good question! And one that I haven't really though about. My ideal self, the way I've always ideally wanted to present myself to people is strong, and fluid and able to take on a challenge. As far as the reactions people have to me...I guess I'd just like people to not make assumptions based off of how I look. I'm kind of short and thin and have very effeminate features, and I'd like people to for once look past that.

Q: What pronouns do you prefer? Is it hard for you to get people to use them?

A: I don't have any preference, and usually end up defaulting to she/her pronouns because I'm biologically female. I just try and make things as simple as possible.

Q: How do you present yourself? Masculinely, femininely or androgynously?

A: Androgynously, most of the time. I wear pretty androdynous to masculine clothing most days, although I really like keeping my hair long and shiny and healthy. If I have to dress up to go somewhere though, I present more femininely, partially out of habit, and partially because I look damn fine in a dress.

Q: Have you made any major non physical changes in your life since identifying with your gender?

A: Not really. 

Q: Have you made any major changes to your appearance since identifying with your gender?

A: No

Q: Is buying clothing a difficult process for you?

A: Only because I don't really like shopping. And also the never ending decision between men's jeans and women's jeans. Do I want my butt to look good? Or do I want pockets? The struggle is too real.

Q: How strongly, if at all, do you experience dysphoria, and how do you handle it?

A: Quite rarely. Usually, I'm pretty chill with my body. Occasionally though, it bothers me that I'm not bigger and stronger, and that I have a very feminine figure. A few specific people have told me before that I'm wasting my body because I wear men's clothes a lot, and that I have a figure most girls would kill for. Sometimes I just kind of wish there was a donation box for all the things that I'm apparently "not using correctly," so that I could give my body to someone who would enjoy it and wear pretty dresses and things, and in exchange I could take one that would put on muscle easier. It's silly, and childish, but...

Q: What questions do you frequently get asked? 

A: "Why can't you just pick one?"

Q: And what answers do you usually give?

A: "Because that's not how it works..."

Q: What advice would you give to a fellow genderqueer person?

A: It's not just you! Really, we exist, we're out here. Your identity is valid, no matter what other people might say. Sometimes people are stupid and say stupid things, and sometimes it's best to accept that and move on. However if people are repeatedly stupid, or mean, or otherwise making you feel negative about yourself, you should consider ridding your life of them if you can.

Q: What advice would you give to someone who is questioning?

A: The most important thing is that you are happy, and in the end that's all that matters. Questioning your gender is a scary place to be, especially if you don't have any supportive people around you, but it's not the end of the world. Definitely try and find people who won't judge you that you can just ramble your feels off to, or find a place online where you can do that if people aren't available.

Lastly Q: Can i post this on this blog or do i need make it anonymous?

A: You may post this on this blog

Questionnaire Entry

(By the way, sorry if I make grammar mistakes. English is not my native language.)

Lastly

- Mod Jun

In regards to “Am I this?” for gender and sexuality

We personally, cannot give you a full fledged answer. The most we can do is offer stories regarding our own experiences, and link you to articles found online. What we can say, mostly me, Jun (I’m the one writing this post), is that your masculine/feminine traits do not dictate/determine your gender. It is not exactly WHAT you are, but WHO you are. If you feel detachment from your assigned gender at birth, then chances are you might have a different identity. And it’s COMPLETELY OKAY TO CHANGE PRONOUNS AND IDENTITIES. YOU ARE EXPLORING. Take me for example. I’ve gone from non-binary, to transboy, to agender, BACK TO TRANSBOY and now I figured out I’m a demiboy. Though now I kinda don’t really care as long as people don’t misgender me, and gender my actions. Going from detachment, if you in any way feel that you are not in the right body, Google is your friend! I can’t stress enough to look up articles and read wiki pages. Of course you can ask for help on here, but we can’t exactly tell you if you’re this or that. You need to ask that within yourself. Do what makes you comfortable, and I know it’s difficult because a lot of people aren’t accepting, even with ones in our own communities. But they cannot tell you who you are. They do not define you. YOU DO. This applies to both gender and sexuality. Now, as for the latter, experiment. Go kiss girls, date boys, explore (and if you want to get sexual, please use protection! That goes without saying, but y’know)! Sexuality is fluid and you can change preferences the more you discover what you like and don’t like. Most people, especially the older generation do not understand that life is a journey and that you are ALWAYS doing to change. You are ALWAYS developing. Even if you don’t seem like it, it is definitely happening. I know I’m probably jumping back and forth here, but I would also like to address that gender and sexuality don’t have an appearance, especially gender. As a person of color, I will say in my opinion that the former poster children for the LGBTQIA+ community, especially in regards to trans people, were thin white people. This is not the case, as we all come in many different forms. You can’t tell what someone is, just ask. That’s all you need to do, and if not, then it’s none of your business. Plain and simple. A lot of these things are flexible and subjective. There is no direct answer, and it’s a matter of how you feel, and what your experiences are. Back then I was in the closet. Then I figured I was bi, then had my, “Am I a lesbian?” crisis once a year until I realized pansexuality was a thing, and then my questioning gender happened. At this point I don’t even care about my sexuality. I know what my preferences are, and I know that she/her makes me upset. So I am what I am, and that’s that. Not to say I don’t struggle with my gender, because I still do. We all have our bad days and it might not seem like it gets better, but trust me it does. You just need to find a good support group. It doesn’t have to be large, a group of five people, or even just one, can be more than enough. You are also not alone, as there’s tons more people like you out there, here, on this blog, tumblr, twitter, Facebook, the whole internet. Trust me, we’re here. We exist. The goal is to be comfortable with who you are. And it’s okay to experiment. I don’t want people telling us that we shouldn’t experiment and go out and discover. The point of living is doing introspection/self-discovery and understanding who we are. It’s not just about being happy, but to learn and experience shit. I can’t stress this enough. But that’s where I’m going to end this little tangent. If you have any comments to add, feel free to do so. Questions, comments, concerns? We’ll be more than happy to ask, but I’m not sure if I’ll answer questions asking me who/what you are, because this post is basically my answer to that. Thanks for reading!

- Mod Jun

Sorry for the inactivity! I’m going to try and deal with some of these messages. They’re going to be in the queue, so don’t forget that.

- Mod Jun

I’m a 4th year Fashion Business student at the Caledonian University in Scotland and I am currently in the middle of doing a dissertation regarding gender identity within the fashion industry and the relevance of gender marketing in today’s society. I was wondering if you would be ok with posting a link to my survey? I am trying to find out peoples experiences and opinions of the extremely gendered fashion industry. It only takes a few minutes and is completely anonymous. Thanks 

http://goo.gl/forms/p5j0QGtJ9E

Questionnaire Entry

How old are you? (for reference)

How you personally define what genderqueer is? In your experience and perspective.

Genderqueer for me means your gender identity isn’t as black and white as being Cis or trans

How do you identify? For example, are you, agender, bigender, pangender, genderfluid, neutrois, genderqueer or label less/Undefined. If Other please explain.

I identify as genderfluid

How long have you identified that way/how long have you known?

I’ve been confused about my gender for two or three years, but about half a year ago I figured it out

If you are out, how accepting have your friends been?

I’m not. But I know for sure a lot of them would take the piss out of it.

If you are out, how accepting has your family been?

I’m not

If either group is not accepting, how do you cope?

I ignore them. It doesn’t really work.

What are some specific things that you struggle with on a daily basis?

Looking the way I want to, especially when I’m a guy.

I hate my chest. I’m dfab so it’s bound (ha djigeddit) to annoy me regularly, but because of my age and not being out to my family I can’t get a binder. I really really want one though. I’d also like more masculine clothing. I have a couple of men’s tshirts but again with my chest it just doesn’t seem to work.

How do you want to be perceived? in an ideal world what are the reactions you want people to have to you and your identity?

I’d like to be able to pass well enough that people just know when I’m whatever gender I am. I wouldn’t want to have to clarify.

What pronouns do you prefer? Is it hard for you to get people to use them?

I’d like he/him when male and she/her when female as I’d like two names. But I don’t even know where to start with asking people.

How do you present yourself? Masculinely, femininely or androgynously?

It depends on who I am. My hair is fairly androgynous and I’m quite invested in androgynous shoes. But other than that it depends. I don’t wear makeup when I’m a guy but I only wear a little when I’m a girl.

Have you made any major non physical changes in your life since identifying with your gender?

No, I don’t think so.

Have you made any major changes to your appearance since identifying with your gender?

Slowly cut my hair shorter and shorter.

Is buying clothing a difficult process for you?

Yes. Always has been.

How strongly, if at all, do you experience dysphoria, and how do you handle it?

When I first figured myself out I was ok with female pronouns and presenting female because I didn’t have dysphoria. But I think I’ve developed it. I just get really self conscious I guess and feel generally shit about myself.

What questions do you frequently get asked?

When I was a kid other kids used to ask me if I was a boy or a girl. And while I really wanted to be a boy it made me so happy. I told them girl but honestly. Deliriously happy. Now it’s only happened recently up at my sports club where I have to wear a lot of clothing and a helmet when a man told his kid to “and sk the nice boy where to put xyz” but I had to correct him in case someone I knew heard.

And what answers do you usually give?

N/a

What advice would you give to a fellow genderqueer person?

Fuck you’re you everyone else can suck it.

What advice would you give to someone who is questioning?

Don’t get too caught up in terms.

Lastly Can i post this on this blog or do i need make it anonymous? Anon please