When you have to hold down the power button to turn off a device

The French always know how to expertly diss people, tho.

Why do Bigfoot hunters try to lure him with a mating call? Do they have a game plan for if a squatch comes barreling toward them out of the woods full tilt with a raging boner?

what the fuck do you think the point of finding Bigfoot is

The Shape of Forests (2019) dir. Guillermo Del Toro

my uterus realizing we aren’t having a baby after building up a lining for three weeks:

Vehicle size as an indicator of dick size is stupid BUT if you have:

there is a 100% chance that “micropenis” is too generous an appellation for you

Please stop attacking every single Texan that owns a truck

Tell them to stop making dumb vehicle choices

Does that mean that every guy with a Prius is hung like a horse

ok so big car means small dick. big shoes mean big dick. to find the optimal piece of manmeat one must find someone who drives a tiny car and wears big shOH NO.

CLOWNS.

WORST ADDITION WORST ADDITION

I’m no longer interested in pain. it doesn’t inspire me, it doesn’t motivate me, I don’t think it’s a beautiful thing. I’ve spent too long making suffering a part of my personality

Gratitude - Tidying Up With Marie Kondo (2019)

Scientists invented fabric that makes electricity from motion and sunlight. To create the fabric, researchers at Georgia Tech wove together solar cell fibers with materials that generate power from movement. It could be used in “tents, curtains, or wearable garments,” meaning we’d virtually never be without power. Source

Y'all are fucking idiots. Clean energy will NEVER be enough to replace the energy we have now. We’d have to tear down DOZENS of forests just to fit enough windmills and solar panels to get even a QUARTER (probably less, tbh) of the energy we can produce now.

Yeah, sure, when they’ve already calculated that a few square miles of panels in the empty ass Arizona desert could power the whole nation. But ok, fracking and the diminishing petroleum supply is worlds better.

Nevermind that windmills are often most efficient off the coast. There they take up no land, impact no trees, don’t pollute the water, and are conveniently located where winds are often strongest anyway.

And solar panels can literally be built into roofs of buildings and in empty areas like deserts. The sun strikes the Earth with the same amount of energy in an hour that our civilization uses in a year.

But yeah, it would be impossible for us to ever have enough energy from clean sources.

Durr hurr technology is bad and I would rather light shit on fire than have clean energy

I can also testify to the Arizona desert being empty ass. And the California desert. And the Nevada desert. 

also…no forests were cleared to make space for Denmark’s windmills and yet they regularly produce so much power that it covers almost all of the country’s power needs. Oh, and then there’s the times when the windmills generate 140% of Denmark’s power needs. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jul/10/denmark-wind-windfarm-power-exceed-electricity-demand

Friendly reminder that oil pipelines are a scam.

The fact that anyone can believe a limited amount of dinosaur oil is more plentiful and efficient than moving air or fucking sunlight is proof that entire populations can be completely brainwashed.

trick or treat except i’m the treat. hello vampires come bite this neck

hey my little brother just sent me this and I’m kinda crying 

simongerman600

sorry what

That header photo doesn’t do the dragon justice. (For shame!). Here’s NASA’s own photo:

(Source [Because NASA is funded by taxpayer money, all their images are public domain, BTW])

THE TIME HAS COME

C-can we come back to the hole in the sun bit

When I see drama start to happen at a party:

Tbh drunk me is just regular me but 2x as honest and 10x as horny

it’s wild to me that people get horny when they drink because when i get drunk i am a liability. one time i tried to get up from my seat and went head first into a garage door that was next to me.

like how are y’all thinking about sex in those times sksksks

From now on I’m only taking fashion advice from the Sailor Moon series

Like let’s be real here

Every girl in sailor moon is a lesbian and I’m stealing all of their looks