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i hope you find someone that matches your capacity to love

Heart Advice for the Broken Hearted

Living with a broken heart is a special kind of insanity. From a Zen practice perspective it provides a unique opportunity to kick your ego while its down. You can dive into the abyss of sadness and suffering and look intensely for its cause. You can explore attachment and self. You can immerse yourself in meditation like nothing else matters. For most people though, the sadness and depression that follows the end of a significant relationship is a normal and expected part of the grieving process. It is not classified as insanity, because it is a reasonable response to a major life change.

Without shaving your head and joining a monastery, you can use your broken heart to grow through the suffering and come to a better understanding of love and yourself. You can use a mindfulness practice of compassionate breathing to help you through the hardest hours. You can salvage the love from the wreckage of the relationship and use it like a bandage to dress your wounds. You can even meditate like nothing else matters.

If you want to heal your immediate suffering, but not all the suffering of all time, you don’t have to do anything as extreme as meditating. You can just watch your thoughts and practice compassion. You can think about the stages of grieving to categorize your thoughts and remind yourself that your thoughts are reasonable thoughts. The stages of grieving are denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. In grief you generally jump around theses stages rather than progress through them. If you think about getting back together, that is a mix of bargaining and denial. If you think about how you could have done something differently, that is bargaining again. If you just cry, that is depression. If you make lists of what the other person did wrong, that is anger. When you stop thinking these kinds of things, that is acceptance. When you notice yourself thinking, you can see what your thoughts are and let them go. Remember you are grieving and take a breath of the pure love that inspired your suffering. Remind yourself that you can love and be loved. Breathe out love for the other person who is suffering too.

Whether you are a Zen practitioner or not, a broken heart is a unique time of growth. You are forced into a process of reorganizing yourself. If you organize yourself with kindness and compassion, your heart will mend beautifully.

*I would just like to quickly say for the sake of me and this post that all of this is based on research and reading up on twin flames as well as being fortunate enough to meet my own twin flame in this lifetime so I think I know a thing or two and wish to share my kwnowldge with you.

♡1. What is a twin flame?

A twin flame is basically a cosmic and spiritual “partner” in the sense that they are our soul mirror. You share a soul frequency per say and you’re basically a mirror of eachother in a very spiritual and soulful way but it’s important to note that despite the misconception, you are a whole soul. You and your twin flame (if you have one) can be whole on your own, you can be complete on your own, you can be happy on your own. You do not need your twin flame because you can be whole on your own. You may feel *more* complete and “whole” with your twin flame but ultimately, you don’t need them to find fulfillment in your life and in yourself. To conclude as I know this definition was a bit confusing, basically a twin flame is when two people are soul mirrors of eachother on the same soulful frequency.

♡2. What is the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame?

One of the biggest questions I get about twin flames is what’s the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame because sometimes people think they have a twin flame but really it’s a false twin flame or it’s a soulmate. So basically a soulmate is someone you’ve previously met in another life and that’s why there is often that recognition when you meet them in this life. Despite the romanticization of soulmates, they can be anyone. They can be your friends, family, a random person you knew in a certain stage of your life, a romantic partner, etc. You can also have multiple soulmates in your life. Soulmates are people who help us along our journey in our life in some way and so sometimes soulmates can be a lifelong soulmate or they can be people who come and go in your life once their purpose for you (and maybe vice versa) has been met. They are here to move along our soul evolution and I would say pretty much everyone has at least one soulmate in life at some point. Twin flames on the other hand are something that you don’t have multiple of. Instead you only have one twin flame and it’s a much deeper, soul recognizing, almost telepathic/intuitive connection because your souls (unlike soulmates) are on the same frequency. They are mirrors of eachother. So ultimately, you often feel what they feel. You can be very spiritually empathetic and intuitive regarding each others feelings, emotions, and pains. It’s almost like you’re in their shoes because you often get them on a soul level like no other because you share the same soul frequency unlike with soulmates and other life connections. So basically, soulmates are here to help us along our soul journey and we can have more than one and twin flames are actually on the same soul frequency and we only have one.

♡3. Are twin flames strictly romantic?

Twin flames are *often* romantic partners simply because the connection between twin flames creates a deep, intuitive, and intense bond so it’s easy to develop romantic & sexual feelings for eachother. However, there have been occasions where twin flames can be family members or even actual twins (although not all twins are twin flames). Most of the time it is romantic but depending on who your tf is and things like that, it isn’t always.

♡4. What is a twin flame relationship like and what’s it’s purpose?

Twin flame relationships are magical, amazing, spiritual, magnetic, intense but they are also hard, difficult, challenging, frustrating, and once again, intense. Twin flames are teachers to one another. They are on the same frequency but as mirrors of eachother, you’re not always going to like what you see. Speaking from research knowledge and personal knowledge, I’ve seen how words transfer into real life and when they say twin flames are mirrors and you’re not going to like what you see, it’s true. You’re going to bring out the best and the worst in each other. Your emotions are going to feel and be way more intense with each other whether that’s in happiness or in sadness or in anger or whatever it may be. Think of an emotion on steroids, that’s how your twin flame will make you feel and you might even get to a point where it’s mentally/emotionally/maybe even physically exhausting and hard because twin flames bring out these intense emotions in each other in order to let things come to the surface that you might not be able to handle it. Things about yourself (things you might not even know are there) are going to boil, come to the survive, arise, etc. and don’t worry because it’s going to be mutual in eachother. And all of this happens because as twin flames, you’re soulfully on the same frequency and in order to evolve, you’re bringing out these things in eachother so that you can benefit yourselves and learn and soulfully evolve both independently and dependently. I would also just like to say that twin flames should absolutely not be toxic/abusive. Yes you can bring out intensities in one another but if it’s harmful to you, you need to leave.

♡5. Does everyone have a twin flame?

Based on personal knowledge and research, it’s often been said that not everyone has a twin flame. I have read that twin flames are becoming *more* common as humanity becomes more spiritually enlightened so maybe we all do have twin flames, we just don’t always meet them in every lifetime (which I believe is also something @bratty-aphrodite has talked about and I think she has a post on). This is not me saying yes everyone has one and no not everyone has one. This is me saying that there is room for debate but I will say that not everyone has one in this lifetime and if you don’t have one, don’t force yourself to *find* them because that’s doing you a disservice. Trust in god or the universe of whatever you believe in that your soul is getting what it needs in this lifetime and if that happens to be a tf than great but if not, its not the end of the world.

I hope this gave you some insight on twin flames and if you want a post on the signs you’ve met your twin flame than definitely send me an ask and I’d be happy to do it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me in my ask box.

— -Phora💙

Kimsooja 김수자 (South Korean, b. 1957, Daegu, Korea) - A Reflective Palace Of Rainbows, 2006   The Palacio de Cristal was originally built in the late 1880s in Madrid, Spain. In 2006 artist Kimsooja transformed it into this rainbow reflecting palace.   Installations

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