america:

if you call a nonbinary person cis bc they don't perform androgyny to a level you approve of i'm omw with a big hammer to shatter your kneecaps

This is incredibly important to remember. Nonbinary isnt just a middle ground or a third gender. Its not being in the binary. Thats it. That means something different to every nb person. So maybe someone does lean a bit more into their assigned gender at birth, they’re still nonbinary and calling them cis just because they arent preforming for you is transphobic- Yes even if you are trans too.

For your viewing pleasure

I don't what kind of fucking vibe this has but it is nice and chaotic.

i will not accept a hint, i will act dumb until you say it clearly to me

I will not accept understand a hint, I will act am dumb until you say it clearly to me

Hozier did an improvised Q&A on twitter tonight

And lastly, my favourite

You can’t dislike him. He Is We

OP YOU FORGOT THE ONE WITH DOG RATES

Also, equally important:

you can break and heal at the same time. they forget to tell you that.

thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters

and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind

and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS

turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's

I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life

the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head

I wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient"

at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing

so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence 

anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels 

so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”

and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”

and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’

and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes 

“i love bible”

Isn’t this the potion Snow White’s stepmom used to turn herself into a witch 

I love how pleased with this whole process he looks.

^^^😊

need someone to look at me the way this man looks at his science experiment

Playing video games with a cat really do be like this

harry potter au where dumbledore is replaced by ron swanson

“Son, did you or did you not place your name in this stupid fire cup?”

“Welcome back to school, children. This year, your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be this woman from the Ministry of Magic. Why the government is interfering in the affairs of a private institution is beyond me. If you have any complaints, please do not bring them to me. End of speech.”

“Sir, why did Voldemort want to kill me?” “There was some stupid prophecy made that you would defeat him. I do not believe in prophecies. He did and now he’s dead. Learn something from that.”

“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: earwax flavored beans. Which is earwax that’s lying about being toffee.”

Cerberus Dog Costumes

Via I Have Seen The Whole Of The Internet

Persephone, drunk crying: I don’t have enough hands!!!

is this this the whosier guy y’all always talking about ? ngl this is a vibe

Just what we need… Hozier met Odin.

“Met”? They’ve been bros for centuries

“When your human comes to pick you up from doggy daycare”

(Source)

slurp slurp