for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

jerry is here

my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”

When I was a teenager, we went to Italy for the summer holidays. We are German, neither of us speaks more than a few words of Italian. That didn’t keep my family from always referring to me when they wanted something translated because “You’re so good with languages and you took Latin”. (I told them a hundred times I couldn’t order ice cream in Latin, they ignored that.) Anyway, my dad really loved a certain cheese there, made from sheep’s milk. He knew the Italian word for ‘cheese’ – formaggio – and he knew how to say ‘please’. And he had already spotted a little shop that sold the cheese. He asked me what ‘sheep’ was in Italian, and of course, I had no idea. So he just shrugged and said “I’ll manage” and went into the shop. 5 mins later, he comes out with a little bag, obviously very pleased with himself. How did he manage it? He had gone in and said “'Baaaah’ formaggio, prego.”

I was done for the day.

This makes me feel better about every conversation I had in both Rome and Ghent.

I once lost my husband in the ruins of a French castle on a mountain, and trotted around looking for him in increasing desperation. “Have you seen my husband?” I asked some French people, having forgotten all descriptive words. “He is small, and English. His hair is the color of bread.”

I did not find my husband in this way.

In rural France it is apparently Known that one brings one’s own shopping bags to the grocery store. I was a visitor and had not been briefed and had no shopping bag. I saw that other people were able to conduct negotiations to purchase shopping bags, but I could not remember the word for “bag.”

“Can I have a box that is not a box,” I said.

The checkout lady looked extremely tired and said, “Un sac?” (A sack?)

Of course. A fucking sack. And so I did get a sack.

I once was at a German-American Church youth camp for two weeks and predictably, we spoke a whole lot of English. 

When I phoned my mom during week two I tried to tell her that it was a bit cold in the sleeping bag at night. I stumbled around the word in German because for the love of god, I could remember the Germwn word for sleeping bag.

“Yeah so, it’s like a bag you sleep in at night?”

“And my mother must probably have thought I lost my mind. She just sighed and was like ‘So, a Schlafsack, yes?”

Which is LITERALLY Sleeping sac … The German word is a basically a one on one translation of the English word and I just… I failed it. At my mother tongue. BIG

My former boss is Italian and she ended up working in a lab where the common language was English. She once saw an insect running through the lab and she went to tell her colleagues. She remembered it was the name of a famous English band so she barged in the office yelling there was a rolling stone in the lab…

I’m Spanish and have been living in the UK for a while now. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new office which is lost somewhere in the Midlands’ countryside. It’s a pretty quaint location, surrounded by forest on pretty much all sides, and with nice grounds… full of pheasants. I was pretty shocked when I drove in and saw a fucking pheasant strolling across the road. Calm as you please.

That afternoon I met up with some friends and was talking about the new job, and the new office, and for the life of me I couldn’t remember the English word for pheasants. So I basically ended up bragging to my friends about “the very fancy chickens” we had outside the office.

Best thing is, everyone understood what I meant.

I love those stories so much…

Picture a Jewish American girl whose grasp of the Hebrew language comes from 10+ years of immersion in Biblical and liturgical Hebrew, not the modern language. Some words are identical, while others have significantly evolved.

She gets to Israel and is riding a bus for the very first time.

American: כמה ממון זה? (”How much money?” but in rather archaic language)

Bus Driver: שתי זוזים. (”Two zuzim” – a currency that’s been out of circulation for millenia)

that’s hilarious

I am officially screamlaughing at my desk from that last one OH MY 

When my parents were in Paris during their honeymoon, they went to a very upscale restaurant for dinner. My mom didn’t know what one of the words on the menu meant, so she pointed to the word and asked the waiter “qu'est-ce que c'est?” The word was lamb, but the waiter didn’t know the term in English, so he just said “le petit baaaaa”

When I first got to Japan I was looking for free-range eggs but didn’t have the vocabulary to ask properly, so I said “Do you have eggs from happy chickens that don’t live in a box?”

So I play hockey with a group that is comprised half of Russians.  Most of them have lived here a while, but English is … not their first language. One day, we’re trying to settle up the ice time bill.  We have one guy who likes to pretend he doesn’t have the money to pay, and we like to make fun of him when he actually pays.  So Petya, who is collecting the money, asks John for his share and John’s like “actually I have the money for this week AND next week” and Petya puts on a shocked face and he says “Oh John!  Is wonderful!  It is like golden showers!”

There is a pause of .25 seconds where everything stops and Petya realizes that he has made a grievous error in the English language.  He knows what he wanted to say, we know what he wanted to say, but we are now too busy laughing.  John is like whoa, whoa, hold on I don’t think we’re friends like that and Misha says this is not the sort of thing to bring up at hockey and poor Petya is just turning redder and redder.

English is a hazardous language, yo.

My Japanese vocabulary skews heavily towards science and research, because I spent most of my time there in the lab. One time in a supermarket I had no idea how to say “desiccated” so I asked for “anhydrous coconut”. It totally worked.

I also made the pants/trousers mistake rather spectacularly a few days after I first moved to the UK.

this is something i would do tbh

samtaims ai vonder if inglis spiiking piipöl aar eiböl tu riölais thät ai äm äksöli vraiting in inglish rait nau bat tsast vith veri finnish spelling

sou if juu spiik inglish bat not finnish kän juu pliis reblog änd liiv ö komment on tis post tänk juu veri mats

Sammteims ei wonda iff inglisch schbieking pipel ahr ebel tu rieleis set ei ehm ecktschuli reiting in inglisch reit nauh batt schast wiss währi tschörmen schbelling

So iff ju schbiek inglisch batt nott tschörmen kenn ju plies riplock end lief eh kommänt on dies pust senk ju wäri matsch

tänk juu for joor tsörman kontribjuusson, ai äpprishieit it veri mats. änd it oolsou helps mii tu gräsp tö essens of tsörman äksent

Samtajms aj vonder if ingliš spíking pípl ár ejbl tu rielajz det aj em ekšuely rajting in ingliš rajt náv bat džast vit veri slovak speling. Sou if jú spík ingliš bat not slovak ken jú plís riblog end lív en koment on tiz poust tenk jú veri mač

Самтаймз ай вондр иф иньглиш спикинь пийпль ар эйбль ту риэлайз дзят ай эм экшуалий райтинь ин иньглиш райт нау бат джаст виць вейрий рашин спеллинь. Со иф ю спик иньглиш бат нот рашин кэн ю плиз риблог энд лив э комент ан дзис пост цянк ю вейрий мач

Samtæms æ wonda if ínglis spíking pípl ar eybel tú ríalæs ðet æ em ektsuali ræting in ínglis ræt ná bat dsast við veri æslendik speling

so if jú spík ínglis bat nott æslendik ken jú plís ríblog end líf a komment on ðis post þenk jú veri mats

Samtaims ai uonder if inglisc spiching pipol ar eibol tu rialais det i em acscualli raiting in inglisc rait nau bat dez uid veri italian spelling. sou if iu spic inglisc bat not italian chen iu plis riblog end liv a comment on dis post tenk iu veri macc’. 

sumtaimes ai wundère eef angliche peepole ar ébl tu rayolize zat i am actualie ritin en angliche rite nau bat dees iz veri french spélling. sau if u speec angliche bat nut french plis cun u reeblog end leev a commant en deez post tank u veri muche

somtajms ai wonde if inglisj spieking piepel ar ebel toe riëlais det ai em eksjelie wraiting in inglisj rait nau but djust wif verrie dutsj spelling

so if joe spiek inglisj but not dutsj ken joe plies rieblok ent lief uh komment on dis poost tenk joe verrie mutsj

Samtajms aj łonder if inglisz spikink pipul ar ejbul tu rielajs dat aj em akczueli rajtink in inglisz rajt nał bat dżast łif weri połlisz spelink

Soł if ju spik inglisz bat not połlisz ken ju plis riblok ent lif a koment on dis połst fenk ju weri macz

somtaghms aigh bhondar iobh iunglois spíocang píopal ár éabal ta ríalaghs dat aigh eim aicsiúlaí raghtuing in iunglois raght nadh bot diost bhot bhéirí aighris spoiling

sómh iobh dhiú spíoc iunglois bot nát aighris cean dhiú plíos ríoblág eand líomh a camoint án dus póst taenc dhiú bhéirí moit

sʌmtaɪmz aɪ wʌndɚ ɪf ɪnglɪʃ spikɪŋ pipl ɚ eɪbl̩ tə ɹilaɪs ðæt aɪ æm ækʃəli ɹaɪɾɪŋ ɪn ɪnglɪʃ ɹaɪt naʊ bʌt dʒʌst ɪn ði ɪntɚnæʃʌnl̩ foʊnɛɾɪk ælfəbɛt

soʊ ɪf ju spik ɪnglɪʃ bʌt nɑt aɪ pi eɪ kæn ju pliz ɹiblɑg ænd liv ə kɑmənt ɑn ðɪs post θænk ju vɚɹi mʌtʃ

my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba

When my grandmother got married in the Philippines during WWII, she had to do so under her sister’s name. She couldn’t use her own because she was wanted by the occupying Japanese forces for slapping a soldier off a dock when he assaulted her friend. So if you think I’m not going to backhand some pussy-grabbing fascist then meet me on the fucking dock.

My family no longer has a crest because records of my great grandfather’s existence was burned because he knee’d one of Franco’s guards in the dick repeatedly after the bombing of Guernica, where his wife’s family was from. I will knee every fascist I meet in the respective genitalia. 

the holy trinity.

My grandfather was an army captain who fought in the battle of the bulge and pressed onwards through the war into Berlin, where he was tasked with rooting out SS remnants.  On one occasion, he and his men found themselves in a shootout in a small alleyway, when, according to family legend, the nazi officer shouted something.  Here I should note that my grandfather was a big man with an even bigger nose, and you can tell everyone on that side of the family is ethnically jewish from about 500 yards.  So when he heard a jumble of german but in particular the word “juden,” he charged down the alley, tackled the Nazi sonovabitch, and stabbed him with his own bayonet.  Which Grandpa brought home with him after the war.  It hangs on my wall now, and the blade still has dried nazi blood on it.  I think its time to add some more.

I fucking hate languages.

The Greeks had this word, right, we have no idea where it came from, it just kinda popped up out of nowhere, and it could mean either apples, cheeks, or boobs. Problem is it looked and sounded *exactly* like another, unrelated word which could mean sheep, goat, or any animal in general really, which must have got confusing if you were a farmer talking about your livestock, but anyway…

Then the Romans, having stolen practically everything else from the Greeks, thought they’d nick this word too, because Latin isn’t confusing enough without throwing in a bunch of loan words. And they adopted it to mean a pumpkin.

Then the English came along and were all like “when in Rome”, and stole it, where it became our word ‘melon’. Which has now come back to mean boobs.

How do you like them apples.

These vines are my life

oh my God

this is the exact opposite of that video of the spiders in the big mass that starts swarming when the dude touches it

#I feel like I’ve just been introduced to a major character in a Wes Anderson movie

there are so many important elements to this. the slow-mo. the sliding on snow in trainers?? the string classical music. the knowing glance towards the camera. the slight raise of the mug in salutation. the book. the red dressing gown. the snowflakes falling past. the hair? the blink as they turn away. who are they

The Ultimate Resource Post: Italian

Everything you need to begin and proceed your adventure with the Italian language! Enjoy!

Learn Italian

Websites to help you begin or proceed learning the Italian language.

•Italianpod101

•Duolingo

•One World Italiano

•About Italian grammar (About.com)

•About Italian Verbs (About.com)

•Italian Vocab Lists & Flashcards (Quizlet)

•Learn Italian language and culture (BBC)

•Mondly Languages

Listening 

Listening skills are essential for learning a language, you need to get familiar with the sound, and by doing so, you can absorb the culture and moods associated with it, for example, by listening to the radio, music, or youtubers.

Listening Practice and Activities

Italian Radio

Italian News/ Broadcasts

Italian Music

Italian Movies/Shows

Italian Youtubers

Reading

Reading is essential as well, you must get familiar with how the language looks, how it’s used, and get used to reading multiple things to not only absorb the language, but the cultural views on thing as well.

News Websites

Online Books/Stories

Misc

Writing

Writing is important, and if you practice everyday, you will surely improve your writing skills along with getting down the verbs, grammar, and vocab with writing practice.

Websites to Practice Writing Skills

*Write notes in Italian, etc.

Speaking

There aren’t much ways to use online resources to practice speaking, other than practicing with friends who speak or are learning the language, or using some apps/websites available to ask natives if you are saying things correctly.

Remember to speak EVERYDAY! With people who speak it or not, but be sure to speak! When you’re alone, in the shower, or out in public, even sing in your favorite song that happens to be in Italian! It’s essential to practice practice practice.

•HiNative (You can speak and ask native speaker’s how you sound)

Language Exchange Websites

Practice Italian

If you’ve started learning Italian just now, or for a while, it’s important to keep up your language skills by practicing the language.

Games

*Be sure to create physical or digital flashcards to document vocabulary learned, so you can go back and practice

Immersion Tips

Immersing yourself in your target language will increase your language skills greatly. Here are some tips to help you immerse other than everything above on this list.

•Set your phone, computer, or any electronic settings to Italian.

•Set social media to Italian.

•Tweet or post on Facebook in Italian

•Label things around your house if you need to learn or remember what they are in Italian.

•Set your Twitter or Facebook trending topics to the location of your target language’s country (to see trending topics from that place).

•Find a friend who speaks the language and text/e-mail/call them as much as you can (everyday if possible)

•THINK in Italian

Other Resources

Dictionaries

Pronunciation

•Forvo (Type in a word and pronunciations from native speakers will show up)

-

Thank you for reading this, I hope it will be a great help for those learning Italian. This post is ORIGINAL, meaning, I spent time searching for links and ways to construct this list together. Do not copy this entire list and the way it’s formatted, for it is original to cecelialanguages.tumblr.com especially the introductions to each topic (I wrote them). 

Note: I will make a similar post in French and Spanish. If you’d like some in more languages, let me know.

♥Cecelia♥

hello hello hellooooo! (or bonjour bonjour bonjouuuur, I must say!)

okay, i’ve had a few messages about learning French soooo I’ve created this masterpost on studying foreign languages! I’ve been learning the French language since I was four and I am now studying French at Higher level and hope this post helps a lot of you!

please note!!!!!!: like any other skill, it takes a lot of dedication and effort to learn a language. it won’t be easy but if you practice a little everyday you will be totally fine!! i’m here if anyone needs a hand x 

reasons to learn another wonderful language

so u wanna teach yourself??

  specific languages

-          spanish

  -          french

  -          german

  -          russian

  -          chinese

  -          arabic

    other language masterposts

  extras??? Who doesn’t love those??

[ If you need a study buddy or just someone to talk to, give me a message or ask and I’ll help u out!! ]

In honor of the new year, here is my simple tutorial for setting up and maintaining a language journal. I’ve made 3 so far using this method for spanish, french, and italian because it’s so simple. Disfruta y espero que logres sus metas de lengua este año! <3

What You’ll Need:

Keep reading

to summarize: •Anish Kapoor gets exclusive rights to use Vantablack, the world’s “blackest black” pigment, which understandably upsets a lot of artists •Stuart Semple responds by creating Pink, the world’s “pinkest pink” pigment, which he makes legally available to everyone except for Anish Kapoor •Kapoor somehow gets ahold of Pink and posts an Instagram photo of his middle finger dunked in the pigment that Semple had banned him from using •Semple gets ahold of Vantablack and posts an Instagram video of his hand making the peace sign with his fingers coated in Vantablack •During this time, Semple also releases Diamond Dust, the “most glittery glitter,” again available to everyone EXCEPT Anish Kapoor

The best thing about Diamond Dust is that it’s made from actual shards of glass so Anish can’t just stick his middle finger in it again

This petty art feud is actually starting to look like it could be one of the most important pieces of performance art of the 21st century

When English isn’t your first language, reading fanfics in your first language (if there are even any) becomes so much more embarrassing???? And sometimes I wonder why native English speakers don’t get that feeling when they are reading in their native language???

scrolling through the comments on this people with at least three separate native languages have chimed in to agree that English is the porn language. This… is amazing. I never knew.

oh oui. tu m’étonnes.

There is actually an interesting cultural/linguistic theory of explanation for this! I’m not a linguistics expert, just a person who likes learning languages, so my explanation will probably be a bit muddled, but I hope people find it interesting anyhow. You can read a relevant paper here; the authors of the paper call this phenomenon (or a phenomenon that’s very similar to it, at least) “emotion-related language choice theory,” but I don’t know if there’s a widely accepted term for it yet, despite the fact that people have been studying it for– I think close to 20 years? Quite a while, anyhow.

So basically, the cultural “naughtiness” of swear words/taboo words in your first language is something that’s very deeply ingrained– you might not hear these words at all in your early years, and if you do hear them there’s a good chance that there was some shame/reproach/anger involved if someone slipped and used them around you, or if your peers whispered them to each other on the playground to show how cool and grown-up they were. Also, people are generally very thoroughly versed in the complex nuances of how and when to use swearwords in their first language, and they fully understand the cultural weight of using these words to convey intense emotions.

When we’re reading, speaking, or writing in a non-primary language, however, we don’t bring all of that cultural baggage with us. For years linguists assumed assumed that it was easier to talk about highly emotional topics in one’s native language, because people generally feel more comfortable speaking the language(s) they’ve grown up with. A newer theory, however, posits that sometimes it’s actually easier to discuss these very taboo topics in a second or non-primary language, because we don’t have that culturally loaded sense of shame and emotional intensity weighing us down. Reading, for instance, smutty fanfic in a second language allows us to have a degree of removal from the topic at hand, which can be very liberating, because we get all the fun and excitement of reading smut with a great deal less socio-cultural nonsense.

(There’s another at least tangentially relevant thing here that I know even less about, which is a recently-studied mechanism wherein our brains basically refuse to fully translate non-primary language words with negative connotations all the way back to our native language, which lets us maintain a greater degree of distance from the negative thing, but I’ve been rambling for long enough, so I’m just gonna link the paper, and if people want to hear more about it I’d be happy to expound: link).

I am a linguist and I approve this addition. There’s something about swearing in the first language that actually bypasses the higher brain functions entirely; you can take someone with global aphasia (complete inability to speak) due to a traumatic brain injury, and electrically stimulate that person’s amygdala (part of the limbic system that regulates emotion) and there’s a very good chance they will swear. But, unless you’re exposed to multiple language from a young age, there’s a clear structural difference in how we process and store L1 vs. L+. No language but your first gets that built into the architecture of your brain, and the swearing just doesn’t work as well.

Dear 2017,

Listen. At the end of each year everyone always claims it was the worst. And that’s probably a lot of pressure for you, 2017. You might be scared you’ll top them all, that you might suck harder than anything has ever sucked before. But don’t let the previous setbacks lessen your courage or dampen your positivity. This is YOUR year 2017! It’s named after you! And it’s going to be full of friendship and love and art and animals and pancakes and waffles and late night chats with pals and more connecting to people like you on the internet and more sharing creative output and more everything that makes you happy. We can just feel it. So put a pot of coffee on and get ready for your big day. It’s almost here.

Signed, Denny’s