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@lancashiresass / lancashiresass.tumblr.com

CLARA  OSWALD. Soufflé Girl. Teacher. Time Traveler. [ independent, semi selective roleplay. ]
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venatrixxque

                 But I’m only Human              Aɴᴅ I ʙʟᴇᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ I ғᴀʟʟ ᴅᴏᴡɴ              ᴵ’ᵐ ᵒᶰˡʸ ʰᵘᵐᵃᶰ             And I crash and I break down

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          traveling  with the  doctor is a  little bit of everything.  adventurous,           puzzling, dangerous  &  romantic ( well,  not really that last bit un-           less rory’s around )   ;   everything little  amelia pond had hoped it           would be. but, like all dreamers who’s dreams come true, some-           times they can become overwhelming. which is why she now sat           on her front porch, drinking lemonade like some old spinster with           cats.   amy was  on holiday — well, a holiday from her holiday  with            the doctor.  but that didn’t mean she couldn’t see things out of the           ordinary and the short,  brunette stumbling about did not look or-           dinary at all.
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          ’ you’re in leadworth.            though, by the looks of it, tellin’ ya            that isn’t going to help you much. ‘

          the face is a bit too familiar. wisps of ginger hair that her eyes should           have never seen                at least, not in person. voice catches in her            throat, all she can do not to stare.     ( or let her eyes wander down to           the unbelievably long legs she knows exist )     did he think himself           funny?      or had he simply not been paying attention again? nervous           fingers tap on the inside of her elbow, an OLD habit to try & ease her           mind. still, she couldn't bring herself to speak.       words were lost to           her.                       an english teacher who can't speak, what a laugh. 

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          right. course.           not london then.             sorry. friend of mine can't really drive.             should be used to gettin' lost by now.
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         while the time lord had been hoping for a younger          body this time around — because all that running while          your body physically feels like a fifty-year-old human’s is          not ideal — from the way he feels and clara’s comment,          this may just be his youngest body yet. horror paints his          new features as hands wander. his usual check. except          more desperate.
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                      clara, i’m not a  t e e n a g e r , am i?                         —…and american! huh. that’s new.

          it's a true challenge for the once impossible girl           to  bite  back  her  laughter  as  she watches his           reaction. did he not have a mirror in that big old           ship of his?      or had he been too busy running           about,   getting    himself    into    t r o u b l e

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                not sure. look a bit like my students.                   still  can't  choose  your  face  then? 
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              the conversation  is too calm for him, too boring. she doesn’t talk to               him like this  on a normal day and so he’s wary of her motives.  his               gaze  remains   on her and his  hand moves to the glasses he still               insists on wearing.   he takes them off and sets them aside on top               of his book in a neat pile.   he’s wondering what she’s come to talk               about. is it going to be a discussion about morality again?   a plea               to take  her home  because  she’s become frightened of him?    or               something altogether different?      the questions rage a war in his               head, but his face only shows kindness and adoration toward her.               he’s mastered this concept of what she wants  ; a boyfriend. that’s               how she views him,    a lover of sorts,    and he’s okay with that, he               can use that to his own advantage. she may very well see the things               he does, but he’ll keep her on his side with his smiles.
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                     ❛❛  nothing that exciting, really, just a manual. you                           can give it a look                    if you want, i mean. ❜❜
              he slips the glasses from the book so they land smoothly on the                stair  and  he holds it out toward her.   it’s a manual about a ship               fro m the  future  and  he doubts she’ll find it interesting, but he’s               making it clear that he’s willing to share his knowledge with her.

      brown hues follow the trail of the glasses down to the stair,  watching       them as if they hold the answers she's looking for.      a SILLY notion.       it's  silly  to  believe  she's  ever  going  to find answers. the questions       that repeat in her mind aren't meant to be solved.        they're the only       things that keep her S A N E.         the hope of answer. the hope of a       solution to the problem in front of her. problem. her mind jumps & she        can't help but wonder when she started to view him as a problem. has        the way she looks at him really changed that much?      he was still the       doctor       her doctor. somewhere, under all that rage. she couldn't let       go of that.      and as her eyes slowly climbed back up the his face, the       face that she sees in her dreams, that flicker of hope  is  rekindled. for       he still looks kind. he looks at her the way he always has.  & maybe it's       a trick,               meant to b r e a k her when the time was right, but she       doesn't believe he could look at her that way if he wasn't still,  to some       degree,      the man who had captivated her so long ago. he had to be.

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                               you?      you kept a manual?                                  thought you didn't like them. ❜

      she waves a hand dismissively in the air. it's probably in some alien       language she doesn't understand.             & she's not sure he has the        patience  anymore  to teach her. but still. feet carry her a step closer.       it's a waste of time, to continuously search for answers.        she can't         help herself. along the way it's become habit.  she tells herself that it's       a waste.     there AREN'T answers. but she still looks. allows the small       smile  that's  laced  with  exhaustion  to  crawl  on her lips. eyes nearly       boring holes into his face. as if,     by some miracle, she'll be satisfied.

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           her eyes widen at the sound of her own voice and she            flips around to be staring at herself. perhaps this is           another paradox or something of the sort. her mouth           opens slightly, then closes, then opens again so she           can speak mindfully.

                             ❝ i think the better question is why and                                 how are you here because i’ve been                                 sleepin’ just fine and you look like an                                 absolute wreck. oi - i didn’t know i                                 could even get circles like that under                                 my eyes. ❞

           it shouldn't be shock that clouds over her features,             but she can't help it.       she  should  know  herself            better than that. but there's still a small  scoff  that            falls from her lips      before they tug into a straight            line. dealing with her own attitude, easy. explainin'            what happened?                   that was the tricky part. 

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                             ❛❛ oi !    watch your mouth. could be                                  y o u r future after all.     these bags                                  are going to be yours. —————-                                  not really sure how i got here. took                                  a                     wrong                  turn? ❜❜

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 last time he changed, it happened right in front  of her. it happened in a blink &      she had been  left speechless.     she  always  knew  he  would  change.     that was what the doctor did. so why  she   finds   herself   staring   at   him,  almost in  d i s b l i e f,                    she doesn't really know.

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              ❛❛ bit younger this time. ❜❜

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      for the most part, she's come to accept the strange unusual. it's       all part of traveling with the doctor. getting to see things that most       people don't dare to even dream are real. getting to see the world &       the u n i v e r s e.          she's seen enough, lived through enough, to        know that sometimes,  you  have  to  accept  the  unacceptable. not        many things surprise her anymore. or at l east,  they  shouldn't.  but       she somehow finds herself able to be left speechless. breath caught       in her throat. eyes wide. marveling at the wonders of the world. that       is before she realizing something's gone terribly wrong. & she's not       supposed  to be in here. she's not even supposed to be in this time.

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    ❛❛ sorry. tiny bit of an ask.         ————— where am i? ❜❜

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      and he’s glad for her company most of the time,        how can he       not appreciate the gestures of an innocent girl?      though does       she even   know  of the pain he may cause her, of the darkness       that he can infect her with?    he doubts she’s even tried to think       about it like him, that she doesn’t spend time sitting upon stairs       and beds  and sofas  and chairs trying to think of all of the ways       he could potentially  corrupt her soul.      as soon as she comes        to him,   he looks to her,  he’s simply been reading         nothing       evil occurring  at all,  and  perhaps  it’s better for her to  see him       this   way,  with  a   deceiving   little   smile   upon  his  cold  face.

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                                Yes. Is something wrong?

      she isn't afraid of him. nor is she afraid of what he could do to her.       maybe a teeny, tiny bit foolish on her part.       but  she  can't  bring        herself to be frightened. she's  more   scared   for  him. she worries       about what he could do to himself.  what he already has done. and       she knows, there's no going back. he's changed. she's changed. in       it's own way, it's vicious cycle. she thinks about fixing him. but it's       pointless.        somewhere, she knows that. but she doesn't give up       hope. because, she can't.  he's  too  important  to  her.  and  maybe       that's the whole reason she stays. he could destroy her if he wants.

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                               ❛❛ no. —— what're you reading? ❜❜

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( each step is a t i n y bit more careful than the   last.   she isn't sure what to expect. she never   is. but it never keeps her away.  she's   drawn   to   him   like   a   moth   to  a flame. it doesn't   matter how bad things get. how horrible they   might seem.       she's         always          there.  )

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               ❛❛  —————- doctor?                     doctor, are you here?  ❜❜

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