enemies to lovers but with myself

he can infodump so deep inside me I'll have trivia running down my leg

the self care industry will sell you face masks and teas and whatnot so i'm here to remind you not to forget the most important self care activity which is masturbation

me reading straight up pornography: hmm… this one just doesn’t have enough accurate character psychoanalysis to get me off

hate when a pause is pregnant. abort that thang

the five homoerotic love languages:

- intimate stabbing

- outright obsession

- confused pining

- "no one knows me like you do"

- lifelong promises that always sound suspiciously like wedding vows

The Doctor and The Master implies a third, less prestigious renegade timelord named The Bachelor

An immortal who regenerates into new bodies but maintains the same core identity and continuity of memories even if there are marked changes in personality, you say?

Weirdly fixated on England, you say?

The Bachelor, you say?

May I propose a theory:

I want someone to write a book where Mermaids are the women thrown off ships when the sailors got afraid because having a woman on the boat is bad luck. And as they sink to the bottom, legs tied together, they change slowly until they can breathe, until they can use their tied up legs to swim. And they drown sailors in revenge, luring them in by singing in their husky voices still stinging from the salt water they breathed. 

someone please write this

I know Dan and Phil reached the peak of their fame in like, 2013-2017, but this feels like the peak of their content creating. It’s the best quality, most authentic, most resources available and most importantly, the things THEY most want to do. We are living in A Time and I’m loving it

mom, dad… i’m…. RANDOM!! LOL XD

The bible said Adam and Eve not Adam and TACO PANCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!! xDD

Both of these accounts still exist. I hope they see us peering into the corpse of their former selves.

an unmatched feeling actually

I love Percy Jackson.

youre telling me a ham fisted this metaphor??

whats the sitch

'Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.'

Stop.

hold on gotta google something

Yeah why did he say that