Restart.

Commission for Matt featuring an amazing eruri!AU with senator!Erwin and tattooed-kindergarten-teacher!Levi. It was truly a pleasure drawing this!

I’m still yelling about this hours later. Thank you so much Aile for bringing my (and my bff’s) AU to life at one of the most important moments. I’m over the moon with it. ;w;

Lose pounds instantly by cutting off a limb or two

why did the cake is a lie become the like most quoted portal thing when literally everything glados said was funnier 

“Look, we both said a lot of things that *you’re* going to regret.”

“Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it. WELL I WONT LET YOU. how does that feel?”

“Nice job breaking it, hero”

“Look at you. sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle…piloting a blimp”

Like this bitch had a goldmine of good lines

“Maybe after you finish this test, I’ll let you take the elevator all the way up to the break room… and I’ll tell you about the time I saw the deer again.”

“It’s a mystery I’ll have to solve later. By myself. Because you’ll be dead.”

“Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noise– * really loud ass train horn* “I’m sorry, I don’t know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.“ 

“Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I’m serious, that’s what it says: A horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”

“Don’t let that ‘horrible person’ thing discourage you. It’s just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep.”

”Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.“

“Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version- [unintelligible] There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I’ll be right back.”

“This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They’re the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That’s you in five seconds. Good luck.”

“That jumpsuit you’re wearing looks stupid. That’s not me talking, it’s right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks stupid. Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It’s a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!”

“Oh, hi. How are you holding up? Because I’m a POTATO.”

”Remember, these exhibits ARE interactive. Like a children’s museum. So that means the pits of acid are filled with REAL acid. Like at a WELL FUNDED children’s museum.“

“Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber…. is looking pretty good.”

Hmm maybe if the LGBT community wasn’t so sexualized, asexuals would feel more comfortable with aligning themselves with the community.

Maybe if the only LGBT spaces weren’t bars and clubs you’d have more asexual people participating in the community.

Maybe if people, hetero or otherwise, stopped making the LGBT community so sexualized, you wouldn’t get assholes that think “asexuality isn’t part of the LGBT community”.

MAYBE I’m getting fucking sick of asexual people getting excluded from the LGBT community because they’re not “gay enough”

This is making people that don’t think asexuals belong in the LGBT community mad keep reblogging it

you: are you okay?

me: *looks off into the distance*

me: in theory.

reblog if you're a lil ugly and you fall in love with anyone who's kinda nice to you

A girl in my speech class gave the best intro to her complaint speech. “So all of you know that I work at Bath&Body Works right? Well I get asked a lot of weird and random questions. A guy once asked me, ‘Can I put this lotion in my wife?’ Yes, he said in and not on. But that’s not what my speech is about. Today, I’ll be telling all of you why I hate waking up in the morning.”

Some silly shots of my Levi cosplay from katsucon. These were more outtakes from @uliekmattkips and I’s eruri shoot. It was fun and I’ll post more soon!

Draw me like one of your French Captains.

To anyone who thought I’d waltz into my bedroom with a blender at 11 at night - you’re seriously mistaken.

I fucking hate you right now Tony.

Monster, remember?

And yeah yeah, I’m the fucking worst.

Got your popcorn though, so WHO’S THE CHAMP NOW

Don’t make me come over there and smother you with Harvey while you’re sleeping.

To anyone who thought I’d waltz into my bedroom with a blender at 11 at night - you’re seriously mistaken.

I fucking hate you right now Tony.