“Cleanse me, Mother”

“thank”

Nasal congestion is so stupid. Your body stops breathing properly as a defense mechanism

Plants:

The human body: OH SHIT! *stops breathing to avoid dying"

This is not an exaggeration.  Your download speed would slow down to the point where Windows would make this kind of absurd estimate, and you’d sigh and leave the room for a while (because you couldn’t use the computer while it was doing this for fear it would crash and lose all your progress) and then you’d come back in 40 minutes and maybe it would now say 52 years or maybe it would say 3 minutes, who knew, not Windows.

on all levels except physical, i am a little heart shaped candy that says “i’m all yours!” 

wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Leon

me: i’m going to do things that benefit my physical and mental health like excercising, eating healthy and getting enough sleep

me:

Facebook: we analysed your entire internet history, tracked your location and took a deep dive into your personal relationships, and we’ve decided to recommend you this specific conditioner that you also saw in your local Tesco two days ago, aint that neat!

Tumblr: HEY sHITHEAD *slurring words* how would you like to buy  *throws dart* a gym membership for your *spins wheel* pARROT

biggest mood