Your Friendly Neighborhood Trash Can

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

get creatured idiot

oh thank fuck i thought i was never gonna get creatured

my official stance is a pregnancy is whatever the pregnant woman wants it to be. if it’s a 4 week old clump of cells and she wants to call it a baby it’s a baby. if she’s 20 weeks and she wants to call it a parasite it’s a parasite. if she’s 39 weeks and calls it a fetus it’s a fetus. “why are you so sad about miscarrying at 6 weeks it was literally just an embryo” because that was her baby. “how can you get an abortion at three months” because that wasn’t a baby. hope that helps.

stop calling natasha lyonne straight she is a merry prankster

Saw this on Reddit: ORIGINAL POST

Hey so listen. I’ve only played Witcher 3 and watched the Witcher show, I know the canon is that Geralt just keeps getting brown horses and calling them all Roach BUT

it would be REALLY, REALLY FUNNY….if Roach has been the same horse for like…..fifty years…..and Geralt doesn’t notice his horse is magic, because how long do horses live? 100? This is Fine. Horses, he’s found, are surprisingly sturdy. One time a catastrophic storm sank Geralt’s ship and drowned literally everyone on board but Roach was found chilling on shore, a-okay. 

Jaskier: So I didn’t want to bring this up at first, because I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t cool with your magic horse–

Geralt: My What. 

Jaskier: –like how did you tame it? Did you raise it from an egg or something? It seems like most magic horses eat people–or, sorry, do you taste bad as a Witcher? Roach has never tried to take a nibble out of me–

Geralt: Jaskier. This is a normal horse.

Jaskier, who has seen this horse appear on rooftops, in the middle of lava fields, refusing to swim but two seconds later showing up on the other side of a lake, and one time doing this for half an hour:

Jaskier: What Do You Mean

Jaskier, a completely ordinary human person who has managed to not age a single year throughout Geralt’s multi-century life and Roach, a completely ordinary brown horse who has managed to not age a single year throughout Geralt’s multi-century life just look back and forth at each other like “bitch, I won’t bring it up if you don’t” and that’s the end of it.

You have to stop writing “the fic nobody asked for” in your fanfiction description.

I asked for it. I prayed for it. And you gave it to me. So thank you.

*says ‘I’m so fucking sick of this pandemic shit’ in a distinctly vaccinated, pro mask, pro lockdown, pro taking all the necessary safety measures way*

This tweet totally describes me

we should kill whoever made those filters that slim your face make your eyes bigger make your nose smaller make your skin evener i think we should kill and destroy all photo applications

Lean into the funny idiot archetype so that when you’re unexpectedly hypercompetent at something they give you The Look where you can see them reexamine their entire perception of you in confusion, respect and no small amount of fear, and when you keep playing funny idiot they will be forever wary of you. Let them find out, incidentally, that the jester keeps a knife under his hat, and never figure out how to deal with that because they won’t abandon their boxes.

hey if u can’t drive/are a slow learner due to a disability or mental illness, just picture historical figures like pirates or the founding fathers trying to operate a car.

it’s only “easy” bc we’ve normalized it.

it would be great for neurotypicals to reblog this

this is a serious point and makes me feel a lot better about my refusal to get a driver’s license and yes neurotypicals please reblog this but i’m also thinking about that one gif of george washington barrelling towards you in a truck

Do they make a Hallmark card for the 3 yr anniversary of this?

I’m in no way contradicting the point here but I do feel compelled to say: so far as I know, Romance doesn’t require adult material to be called Romance. @thebibliosphere can confirm or deny if she has the spoons

Sex scenes that are depicted on the page are not a requirement of the genre. Common and often expected but not a requirement.

you MONETISE miette?? you make her pay to view posts like the youtube premium??? oh jail! jail for staff for One Thousand Years!!!

pure of heart. dumb of ass. bi of sexual insp.