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i am i am i am

@pinkmans / pinkmans.tumblr.com

ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space
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adampvrrish

not to talk about doctor who but remember being a lonely depressed teenager and hearing him say ‘900 years of time and space and i’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important’

he was like ‘just this once-everybody lives’ and i chased that shit with homosexual determination for every day since, like maybe through pure force of will i could save everyone i loved from a system that wanted us dead

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killbilled

And that kind of confidence, you know, like I was finally - I was good at something, that was so new, and that was so exciting and I just wanted him to know that and, fuck, I just wanted him to be like, “Good job!” And the more he wouldn’t respond, and the more our relationship kinda strained, the deeper into this I went and the better I got. And the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got. And the routine of the kitchen was so consistent and exacting and busy and hard and alive, and I lost track of time and he died. And he left me his restaurant. And over the last couple months I-I’ve been trying to fix it ‘cause it was in rough shape, and I think it’s very clear that me trying to fix the restaurant was me trying to fix whatever was happening with my brother. And I don’t know, maybe fix the whole family because that restaurant, it has and it, it does mean a lot to people. It means a lot to me. I just don’t know if it ever meant anything to him.

THE BEAR (2022-)

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