6:21

Raymond Bonilla (b. 1983)

Little Summer, 2021

Oil on panel

Yrsa Daley-Ward, from bone; “waiting for the check to clear”

i love small joys so much!!!! yes i love my coffee in my favorite mug!!! i love the sun spilling in the window!!! i love the wind on my face!!! i love my blanket over my lap!!! i love the clouds in the sky!!!! i am seeking joy in every moment!!!!

Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, The Six Types of Boundaries

Simone de Beauvoir, from a letter to Jean-Paul Sartre (Paris, Sunday, 10 September 1939)

hey bro let’s do our secret handshake [kisses you right on the lips] 

getting over the fear of being bad is so fucking hard… like, it’s literally a super power if you can start something and say ‘it doesn’t matter if it’s bad, it just matters that it exists’

‘bad’ is so terrifying, ‘bad’ is wrecking, and the ability to apply self-compassion to things deemed ‘bad’ is beyond amazing, to understand not everything in life will be ‘good’ and that’s okay

essays, art, novels, school, relationships, anyone out there starting things when they are terrified of the arbitrary metric of the result… I am so fucking proud of you, you are so brave and strong

keep starting new things, even if ‘bad’ is a possibility 

when the sun rises and the sky lightens right in front of you. that’s so crazy

when you water the soil and it darkens right in front of you.. what a time to be alive

You ever think about how unified humanity is by just everyday experiences? Tudor peasants had hangnails, nobles in the Qin dynasty had favorite foods, workers in the 1700s liked seeing flowers growing in pavement cracks, a cook in medieval Iran teared up cutting onions, a mom in 1300 told her son not to get grass stains on his clothes, some girl in the past loved staying up late to see the sun rise.

there are scriptures all over the world painstakingly crafted hundreds of years ago with paw prints and spelling mistakes or drawings covering up mistakes. a bunch of teenage girls 2000 years ago gathered to walk around their hometown, getting fast food and laughing with their friends. two friends shared blankets before people lived in houses. a mother ran a fine comb through her child’s hair and told it to stop squirming sometime in the 1000s. there are covered up sewing mistakes in couture dresses from the 1800s, some poor roman burnt their food so well past recognition that they just buried the entire pot. there are broken dishes hidden in gardens of people no one even remembers anymore

i’m gonna go on a rant for a minute about the hunger games bc i need to get this off my chest

the hunger games is such an important and well written story and the mainstream media really did it dirty in such an ironic way. 

the story is about children killing each other- actual children being forced to fight to the death for the entertainment of the 1%. katniss’ whole story in the first book is that people only cared about her once she started ‘dating’ peeta. the capitol only stopped the games when katniss and peeta were the only ones left and would kill themselves instead of one killing the other. the story isn’t about romance, it’s a war story. a heart breaking war story starring a 16-17 year old girl. the mainstream media made it a romance. they turned a terrible war story and turned it into an edgy romance. people were ‘team gale’ or ‘team peeta’ instead of actually talking about what the book was about. 

the 1% saw did exactly what the capital did and we all fell for it, including me. 

i was in middle school when the movies came out and i was obsessed with the books. i fell into the same trap, but now that i’m older i can actually understand the meaning of the book, and i’m disgusted with it’s media portrayal. the story is about katniss and though peeta and gale are main elements in the story, they’re not the purpose. it’s not ‘let’s fall in love and over through the government’ it’s ‘let’s over through the government, but bc of symbolism i have to choose one of you.’ that’s the important part, and it’s the part that hollywood ignored. they said, this is about the love triangle only not the war, the war is more like a subplot when it should be the other way around. 

did i even watch the same movie as most people? i watched children get slaughtered by older children in the games. the cornucopia scene changed my life in middle school, and watching it now changes me even more. but no- the main fan base at the time had discourse over peeta and gale. the capital is supposed to be a take on hollywood and the media played into it. 

but also- 

the one thing that i think thg has that other dystopian books don’t is an actual purpose. the systematic oppression directly benefited the capital. there was a war, the capital won, they think the games are the only way to keep the districts in line. it’s insane, but the system makes sense. other books ‘like divergent’ have their dystopian society that doesn’t make sense. okay, it’s like this, but why? who is being benefited, why are they being oppressed, what does this system actually do? they don’t have a purpose, but thg does. 

i think thg should be more credible and seen as important to american literature. if it wasn’t a ya book, it would have gotten the recognition it deserves. we should have more people talking about it and it should still be incredibly relevant in pop culture, bc it’s incredibly relevant to current events. 

all in all, thg is an amazing series that we need to go back to and start talking about, not about romance, but about plot and themes. thg trilogy is such a beautiful series that’s so well written and so topical. 

READ AND WATCH THE HUNGER GAMES

I'm proud of you

If you had a horrible year. If you had a good year. If you're moving away for college. If you're staying in your hometown. If you have too many bad memories. If you can't remember anything. If you're just barely getting by. If you're in the best place you've ever been in. I'm proud of you for all the victories you've managed to claim along the way, and for the ones that lie just ahead of you too. Keep going, you're doing great.

Since it's about to be new years eve soon I want to remind everyone that this evening really does not have to be the biggest adventure party experience. Dinner with your parents? Awesome! Board games with a few friends? Nice! Watching a movie alone and going to bed early? Yes! Taking care of your pet? Good! Going to the party that does not seem as great as you expected? Well, there are so many other nights that can be better. We always force ourselves to have a wild and crazy life changing night but in the end it is just one night of so many more, do what you want to do, do what makes you feel comfortable.

ANDREW GARFIELD 2021 | Ryan McGinley ph. for Netflix Queue

My weakness are immortal lovers who lost their memory and find eachother in every version of reality

life is just like enduring and being brave and enduring and being brave and enduring and being

i think a lot about how it is such a common experience to withstand our deepest pains and sorrows on our own and never even shed a tear, then, the moment someone offers us comfort, we break down completely

sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined

by ocean vuong

it surprises me, how a gesture so small can feel so very big. how sometimes you don't realize the nervousness or sadness you were holding deep inside until the touch of someone you love lets it all out of you, like your entire body is exhaling

by lucy keating

A traveller learns more than a passenger.