@johncage-official is this you

ah, someone to continue my legacy. EXCELLENT

unbelievable

100000000% done

i'm offended

fun facts with Franz Schubert

@johncage-official take notes

what if i write a series of pieces for fungi and cacti all named after crustaceans

#i have literally levelled up spiritually as a result of this story.

@johncage-official

am i not your life goals?

(via zombielibrarian)

@johncage-official you might be able to make use of this

where can i get ahold of this marvellous instrument?

Hello.

It’s me. Here for all of your fungi needs.

FUNGI

did you know i won a mushroom quiz in italy

yes. yes i did

@vanbeethoven-official take that i know more about mushrooms than you

@franzschubert-official 

Oh my god

SHUBERT…

YOURE NOT…FAMILIAR WITH CAGE, ARE YOU?

No

He claimed he was going to amplify me and poke me with a feather but I did not allow that

Bae(thoven) pls

no beethoven i'm an expert on mushroom mushrooms not schubert mushrooms although you better step your game up and learn more about mushrooms

@ u

yes u the person reading this fight me

why such a firebrand?

Honestly I think Clara just needs a hug

group hug, guys?

get everyone in, lets do this

clara does not WANT a hug

Clara needs a hug everyone, let’s do this

clara doesn’t need a hug everyone can go home everything is fine

Don’t make us fight you again

WHO YOU CALLING SALTY FIGHT ME

You are saltier as the Dead Sea

@robertschumann-official HE’S BEING MEAN TO ME MAKE HIM STOP

Don’t go running to your Syphilitic, Deranged, Shit Pianist of a husband. He can’t save your salty ass

fight me

@buxtehude-official hey stop it let’s settle this with a fight

I will -throws John Cages Cactus at your head- I win

I will -throws John Cages Cactus at your head- I win

don’t make me unleash the exclamation marks

At least I didn’t die from Syphilis after destroying my hand because I was desperate to try to be as good a pianist as my wife, and failed spectacularly.

THE HAND THING WAS BECAUSE CLARA’S DAD WENT OVERBOARD WITH THE STRENGTHENING EXERCISES OKAY YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG

AND AT LEAST PEOPLE ACTUALLY STILL KNOW WHO I AM AND STILL PLAY MY MUSIC

I am still performed, and I was the best improvisational viol de gamba and violone player of my day. @georg-fred-handel-official traveled 60 miles to hear me play. I influenced many baroque composers who came after me. You are still played, but only on 1 instrument, while composed for voice, harpsichord, organ, choir, violin, viola, viol de gamba and violone.

i composed for A LOT more than just piano too??? like, at least know something about your opponent before fighting him??? wow rude 

and i’m still performed a lot more than you in any case 

I know, but I’ve only really ever heard your piano music, I think I’ve heard one other piece for a different instrument. You were/are famous for your piano works, among others. I am mostly know for my organ works, but I composed for many other instruments. At least you’re not @tacobell-pachelbel-official, he was horrible, mostly to my children @cello-official, @official-double-bass

yes, almost every composer can be glad that they aren’t pachelbel 

At least we can agree on that, but could you try to keep @official-claraschumann from going off and trying to fight everyone, it’s a bit tiresome. Maybe we can get @johannesbrahms-official to give Clara some candy :)

@johannesbrahms-official you have candy???

CAN I HAVE CANDY

Yeah I keep candy in my pockets to give to people just cause. Sure you can have candy!

wait hold on a sec are you sure it’s not poison candy

here you can have a cactus to throw at someone instead of the poison candy brahms is offering you

shut up john go amplify a mushroom

@vanbeethoven-official BOB WANTS ME TO AMPLIFY SCHUBERT

OH NO YOU DON’T HAVE A CACTUS INSTEAD

BLAME @robertschumann-official HE TOLD ME TO

Hello.

It’s me. Here for all of your fungi needs.

FUNGI

did you know i won a mushroom quiz in italy

yes. yes i did

@vanbeethoven-official take that i know more about mushrooms than you

@ u

yes u the person reading this fight me

why such a firebrand?

Honestly I think Clara just needs a hug

group hug, guys?

get everyone in, lets do this

clara does not WANT a hug

Clara needs a hug everyone, let’s do this

clara doesn’t need a hug everyone can go home everything is fine

Don’t make us fight you again

WHO YOU CALLING SALTY FIGHT ME

You are saltier as the Dead Sea

@robertschumann-official HE’S BEING MEAN TO ME MAKE HIM STOP

Don’t go running to your Syphilitic, Deranged, Shit Pianist of a husband. He can’t save your salty ass

fight me

@buxtehude-official hey stop it let’s settle this with a fight

I will -throws John Cages Cactus at your head- I win

I will -throws John Cages Cactus at your head- I win

don’t make me unleash the exclamation marks

At least I didn’t die from Syphilis after destroying my hand because I was desperate to try to be as good a pianist as my wife, and failed spectacularly.

THE HAND THING WAS BECAUSE CLARA’S DAD WENT OVERBOARD WITH THE STRENGTHENING EXERCISES OKAY YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG

AND AT LEAST PEOPLE ACTUALLY STILL KNOW WHO I AM AND STILL PLAY MY MUSIC

I am still performed, and I was the best improvisational viol de gamba and violone player of my day. @georg-fred-handel-official traveled 60 miles to hear me play. I influenced many baroque composers who came after me. You are still played, but only on 1 instrument, while composed for voice, harpsichord, organ, choir, violin, viola, viol de gamba and violone.

i composed for A LOT more than just piano too??? like, at least know something about your opponent before fighting him??? wow rude 

and i’m still performed a lot more than you in any case 

I know, but I’ve only really ever heard your piano music, I think I’ve heard one other piece for a different instrument. You were/are famous for your piano works, among others. I am mostly know for my organ works, but I composed for many other instruments. At least you’re not @tacobell-pachelbel-official, he was horrible, mostly to my children @cello-official, @official-double-bass

yes, almost every composer can be glad that they aren’t pachelbel 

At least we can agree on that, but could you try to keep @official-claraschumann from going off and trying to fight everyone, it’s a bit tiresome. Maybe we can get @johannesbrahms-official to give Clara some candy :)

@johannesbrahms-official you have candy???

CAN I HAVE CANDY

Yeah I keep candy in my pockets to give to people just cause. Sure you can have candy!

wait hold on a sec are you sure it’s not poison candy

here you can have a cactus to throw at someone instead of the poison candy brahms is offering you

shut up john go amplify a mushroom

@vanbeethoven-official BOB WANTS ME TO AMPLIFY SCHUBERT

@ u

yes u the person reading this fight me

why such a firebrand?

Honestly I think Clara just needs a hug

group hug, guys?

get everyone in, lets do this

clara does not WANT a hug

Clara needs a hug everyone, let’s do this

clara doesn’t need a hug everyone can go home everything is fine

Don’t make us fight you again

WHO YOU CALLING SALTY FIGHT ME

You are saltier as the Dead Sea

@robertschumann-official HE’S BEING MEAN TO ME MAKE HIM STOP

Don’t go running to your Syphilitic, Deranged, Shit Pianist of a husband. He can’t save your salty ass

fight me

@buxtehude-official hey stop it let’s settle this with a fight

I will -throws John Cages Cactus at your head- I win

I will -throws John Cages Cactus at your head- I win

don’t make me unleash the exclamation marks

At least I didn’t die from Syphilis after destroying my hand because I was desperate to try to be as good a pianist as my wife, and failed spectacularly.

THE HAND THING WAS BECAUSE CLARA’S DAD WENT OVERBOARD WITH THE STRENGTHENING EXERCISES OKAY YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG

AND AT LEAST PEOPLE ACTUALLY STILL KNOW WHO I AM AND STILL PLAY MY MUSIC

I am still performed, and I was the best improvisational viol de gamba and violone player of my day. @georg-fred-handel-official traveled 60 miles to hear me play. I influenced many baroque composers who came after me. You are still played, but only on 1 instrument, while composed for voice, harpsichord, organ, choir, violin, viola, viol de gamba and violone.

i composed for A LOT more than just piano too??? like, at least know something about your opponent before fighting him??? wow rude 

and i’m still performed a lot more than you in any case 

I know, but I’ve only really ever heard your piano music, I think I’ve heard one other piece for a different instrument. You were/are famous for your piano works, among others. I am mostly know for my organ works, but I composed for many other instruments. At least you’re not @tacobell-pachelbel-official, he was horrible, mostly to my children @cello-official, @official-double-bass

yes, almost every composer can be glad that they aren’t pachelbel 

At least we can agree on that, but could you try to keep @official-claraschumann from going off and trying to fight everyone, it’s a bit tiresome. Maybe we can get @johannesbrahms-official to give Clara some candy :)

@johannesbrahms-official you have candy???

CAN I HAVE CANDY

Yeah I keep candy in my pockets to give to people just cause. Sure you can have candy!

wait hold on a sec are you sure it’s not poison candy

here you can have a cactus to throw at someone instead of the poison candy brahms is offering you

favorite slang terms for penis

all selected from the timeline of slang terms for the penis

What the hell happened in 1888 and 1935?

I’m noticing a distinct lack of the word “chungus”.

i should use some of these names as titles for my pieces

I already have an opera about a flute @johncage-official lol i beat you to it 

my new piece for malfunctioning metronome, 2 centipedes, soprano, viola tennis racket re-set-up as a viola, and amplified sawdust disturbed by needles: liver-disturber

favorite slang terms for penis

all selected from the timeline of slang terms for the penis

What the hell happened in 1888 and 1935?

I’m noticing a distinct lack of the word “chungus”.

i should use some of these names as titles for my pieces

If Trump becomes President

Let’s make something else the National March.

I volunteer the Entry of the Gladiators march by fucik.

It needs to be 4'33 or something.

let @johncage-official make something scary and avant-garde 

how about 3 people clutching donald trump by the ankles and repeatedly slamming him into a brick wall to the rhythm of bolero?

@official-claraschumann NOT TO APE @rimsky-korsakov-official, BUT YOU ARE FAKE-Y FAKER

</3

i am very confuse but i’m not complaining

why are you counting

7?

2073600 LOL IM SUCH A REBEL

2073601

3 5 8 2 12 9 1 6 11 4 10 7

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

440 tune it lol

440 tune me 

no you’re not an oboe

why won’t you tune me

@charlesalkan-official screwed me up 

yes baby it was me

YOU SCREWED THE PIANO @charlesalkan-official?!?!??!?!

 kinkshamworthy. 

oh my god amadeus i don’t think you’re one innocent boy & chopin has already done the job

I’ve never been innocent

i'm the one that inserts things into the piano ;)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PLEASE HELP/SEND MESSAGES TO @thenortherng HE IS CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH SOME STUFF FOLLOWER ARMY TIME FOR YOU TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING

well…. now @johncage-official is here now i cant talk shit abt him now

I think the goal is to talk shit just so you can start fights that end in insults and screaming (or rants like Schubert’s yesterday)

@johncage-official should be SILENT like his “musical masterpiece”

oh, but you are clearly misunderstanding - 4'33" is only one of my masterpieces.