“You know.” “I know.”

SparkNotes’ Twitter is something else.

shoutout to my coworker for thinking that “illuminati” and “alumnae” meant the same thing and absolutely destroying everyone in the room when he casually dropped the sentence “i get a discount there because i’m an illuminati” into the conversation

Sometimes people will ask me things like “Oh no! I had a sexy dream with someone I’m not attracted to! What does it mean?”

Chances are, absolutely nothing. Sometimes your brain just churns out garbage because it can. Don’t worry about it.

The only sex dreams I’ve ever had were about Belle’s dad from beauty and the beast (shower sex) and a genuinely traumatizing dream about Mozart

oh

@paulblart-mallgoth Okay but are we talking like. Live action Belle’s dad? Because Kevin Kline is genuinely quite dashing, in an odd sort of way. Or are we talking Cartoon Belle’s Dad. Because like. Then the best I can tell you is your subconscious decided to play out a real life shitpost in the dreamscape.

No it was cartoon Maurice and he was very flexible

I changed my mind. Most sex dreams are nonsense garbage but this specific one actually does reveal your inner truths.

The only good article Cosmo has ever done

me when i get my student loan

this is the money cat. reblog in 30 seconds and you will find yourself with more wealth

#this is the only money cat i will reblog because it’s actually doing the manekineko pose151,646 notes (via lolwhutninja)

OMG YOU’RE RIGHT

and it has its right paw up! the correct paw for this. and from the markings on its ears, it looks like it might be a calico cat. which is the luckiest kind!

extremely lucky cat

I don’t even care if it actually works, I’m mostly reblogging because it’s freaking adorable.

cute cat and need money, good post, 10/10

in case anyones interested in the other versions

http://www.namaii.com/manekineko/maneki-neko-types.html

Y’know I reblogged this a bit ago and was saved from financial probation and getting kicked out of school because of it, just mere months from graduation. Got a call from the financial aid advisor telling me that they made a mistake with filing my account (or some other sort of clerical error) and said that, basically, they owe me money. Welp.

Last time I reblogged the money cat, I won two $100 gift cards at work.

Can’t move, can barely work… You’ve come through three times already, Money Cat

Do your thing, Money Cat 😻

If a sitting president threatens to hold government employees hostage and shut down the government for years because the other branches of government won’t give him absolute power, then he should be fucking impeached.

#like this is literally how authoritarianism starts #the government wo[n’t] build your wall? #shut down the government entirely! #declare a state of emergency to circumvent congress! #like how long will it take for martial law to be declared after that?

I get road rage walking behind people.

🚨 please do not disturb the squirrel when he eats 🚨

yall should reblog this with your zodiac sign and the color you associate with it in the tags