I was assigned to wrangle the players at the last minute today while they called season ticket holders, which meant printing out scripts and lists of patrons for 26 idiot boys and walking said idiot boys through how to block their numbers and make notes on how each call goes
- a player bribed his teammate to make his calls for him and dipped while I was helping our non-English speakers get settled (I will have my revenge)
- I I called the first player, Young, and the entire team started chanting, “YOUNGER YOUNGER YOUNGER” at the top of their lungs until I busted out the mom voice and told them to knock it off (happy to report I’ve still got it)
- a player didn’t block his number and called a dozen patrons who now have his number and somehow wasn’t at all concerned about it
- my Latvian player had TWO different people hang up on him while he was talking and after the first one, he said, baffled, “he hunged up on me” and after the second, he just looked at me all sad, so I promised to fight them for him
- I gathered everyone in the hall to explain what to do and noticed a few guys with their shirts over their noses, giggling. I thought they were laughing at a private joke until the smell hit me. I broke off mid-sentence and said “oh my GOD” and the entire team just lost it 😭
- my bb goalie refuses to tell me who the criminal was