Hey, I want to ask

Am I too much? Can you just

Be honest with me

I got somethins to say

i already fED you

IRRELEVANT

twitter can be good sometimes actually

when george h.w. bush was naming george w. bush he was like you can have most of my name... but i'm keeping herbert. ok bro 😂😂

my kitty cat was wandering around going ‘mrrph?” so i was like “in here!” he goes “mrrph!” shoves open my bedroom door with his big round head and FLOPS on me. as in hard enough that he made a little “oof” noise when he did it. followed by a category five purring event. there’s good in this world mr frodo etc

on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.

No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.

Kim Addonizio, from “Happiness Report,” in Now We’re Getting Somewhere [ID in alt text]

hey (with the intention of having a coke with you)

@nunyo-bizznez with the truest tags I've ever seen

The basics of caring for the space you live in and the body you inhabit should be taught, and treated like parts of life the way eating and breathing and going to the bathroom are.

re-watching hannibal