hey there, i'm taryn.

I WASNT EMOTIONALLY READY

Shawn via justinjesso’s instagram story 8/13/18

not to be fake deep but being here without 1d is like waking up to only half a blue sky kinda there but not quite

honestly the concept of doppelgangers is scary but if i saw myself i probably wouldn’t be that terrified. like i know she can’t run for more than 3 minutes straight. i know she can’t do basic maths. she’s not going to do anything. she doesn’t even know what day it is

He actually told the time

HOW did the parent not die laughing immediately!?

OMG HE ACTUALLY TOLD THE TIME

At first I was just like- why is everyone so impressed that someone knew how to read a clock?

And then I got it.

I don’t care why, this is hysterical.

This is the best kind of prank.

No scares, no injury, no property damage, just confuse the hell out of someone.

Niall Horan and Julia Michaels at the Late Late Show Escape Room

I was playing volleyball in the gym with the kids and this little boy got hit in the head and I was like ‘oh geez you okay dude’ and he just said ‘Yeah, I’m real strong watch this’ and punched himself in the face

I said to be gentle with his brain and he told me ‘no really it’s okay look’ and I had to physically block him from slamming his forehead into the brick wall

Superman’s preschool teachers all deserved raises

*slams fists on table* THIS IS THE CONTENT I’M HERE FOR

The start of my long battle with Internet addiction

so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???

and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”

“Would you consider yourself a single man? Would you like me to auction you off to these lovely ladies? No?” @ Denver, Colorado.

Fucking dropped him…