Psilosophy

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Some parties you’re Janeway, some parties you’re Seven.

1.5 The Cloud

i hate myself for laughing so hard at this

*to the tune of shots* dogs! dogs! dogs! dogs! dogs! dogs!

I taught a robot the meaning of fear (robot c.o @manilabulletin)

It took me 4 tries to reblog this I couldn’t click shit

concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe.

writers of the world: please stop using epithets in your writing, trust me “the blonde army doctor”, “the curly haired detective”, “the blue-eyed man” etc. do not sound as good in writing as they may sound in your head

instead, use the characters’ names, they’re there for a reason and it’ll make your writing much more crisp, tight, to the point, and still entertaining

Names, along with common words like “said” and “asked”, become invisible. The more invisible your words, the deeper your reader will fall into your writing, to the point where the reader will forget that there are words at all and just become part of the story.

When your words aren’t invisible, there’s the unfortunate potential that people will turn them into a drinking game instead of reading the story.

Just about the only time that epithets work instead of using a name is when the POV character doesn’t know the other character, and so the physical description is pretty much all the POV character has to go on. You don’t think of people you know as “the tall man” or “the blonde woman”. Your POV character shouldn’t, either.

Yo I actually wanted to make this post a while back and I think a lot of this stems from when you have two characters who use the same pronouns interacting (which happens in fanfic). There’s this fear that the reader will confuse who the characters are referring to, so that’s why epithets are used. Instead of using epithets, use syntax, which is word order, and carry your subject through multiple sentences and actions. So, Imma teach you how to do this under the cut. (It’s a bit of a grammar lesson tbh)

Keep reading

WATCH THIS

This is the most hilariously useless and meaningless thing I’ve ever seen

my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this

look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit

motherfucking australia

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

wait. 

you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?

that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?

fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?

wake up australia 

That’s what birds do

They fly around and fuck shit up

Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country

Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

what the actual fuck australia 

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

Nope.

Went there.

Parrots tried to take our car.

Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.

Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile.

There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started. 

I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool. 

Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots. 

What the fuck

@ozhawkauthor WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

I dunno, man. Birds are fucking terrible all over the world.

I live in Michigan and a wild turkey once flew through a closed window into my COM 295 class. 

Listen… I see your adorably exotic wild birds doing cute-but-obnoxious things and raise you THE HELL BIRD:

THE CANADA GOOSE.

I know what you’re thinking…sevenfoxes, how could something so cute and named after CANADA be terrible?

Look at them!  THEY ARE SO CUTE!  SO FLUFFY!  Surely you are exaggerating.  I bet you they are a delight!

WRONG.  

These fuckers, much like Canadians, look like they’re all cute and docile, but turn your back and we’re coming in the night for your CHILDREN, ALRIGHT?!

Not only do they NEVER SHUT UP (honk honk honk honnnnnnnnnnnk all fucking day), but their shitting habits are EPIC:

SHIT THROUGH A GOOSE IS BASED ON THE CANADA GOOSE.  These fuckers shit a POUND AND A HALF OF CRAP A DAY - pooping once every TWENTY MINUTES.  They are shit machines from the bowels of hell.  Their epic poopage has an impact on waterways, mostly because they carry a lot of LOVELY PARASITES/BACTERIA.  Lakes have been SHUT DOWN because of their turdage.

Oh yeah… and they have learned to enjoy the taste of human flesh.

Our native birds may not look like they’ve flown out of an 80 year old’s bird cage, but we’ve weaponized them.  TAKE THAT, AUSTRALIA.

The Canada Goose: why you don’t want to fuck with Canada.

@angelafaye22

I draw Scully when I watch the X-Files. Some folks asked for prints, so hey, here you go: PRINTS! TOTES! PHONE CASES!

shallow-graves

you get no eyes or you get two many eyes, sorry I don’t make the rules. stay tuned for the rest of the MBTI ghouls and ghosties which i will be posting throughout october and also these are prints isn’t that dandy?!