heres the @ s and the links to their websites (cuz tumblr wont let people pause🙃) under readmore

one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.

- via duckbunny

I’m a little late for pride month, but I got all this done a lot quicker than I expected considering I only started working on it at the beginning of June (though I’ve been planning it on and off for a few years now😅). I did a lot of research and planning for each piece, and there was a lot I wanted to communicate with the project as a whole - it’s been a lot of work, and I challenged myself with a bunch of stuff I’m not familiar with, but I’m really happy with how everything turned out.

Happy pride, everyone, here’s to our community, to all the work that got us here, and to all the progress still to come! 🏳️‍🌈✨🏳️‍⚧️

self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

Fortesa Latifi, from The Truth About Grief.

A reminder of things that are healing

I'm learning how to live a life that aligns with my own personality and needs while still feeling connected with the rest of the world: just because I'm different, it doesn't mean that my world is not the same as the one others live in, I don't have to self-isolate out of fear the world won't include me in it - I will fight for inclusion. I deserve it because I am human, I am alive, I am here and life has endless possibilities, so it is not time to give up, but to keep my hopes up and keep pushing whenever I can. I will breathe life into me, I will look at everything with love, myself included.

🌱🌿💐🌱🌿💐🌱🌿💐🌱🌿💐🌱🌿💐🌱🌿💐

does anyone else have a deep underlying sadness that never truly goes away and probably never will or is that just me haha

Nat Jones, Mina the cat series

How to Stay Cool Without A/C

A lot of Northerners were very kind during the freeze in Texas this winter with tips on how to stay warm for people who had lost heat. This is an attempt to repay that favor for people in the Pacific Northwest and other northerly locations who are facing dangerous heatwaves without built-in A/C. My qualifications to give this advice are that I was a summer camp attendee and counselor with no A/C for many summers in humid-ass central Texas with highs over 100F basically every day. Hopefully some of it will be of use to somebody who isn’t used to the heat.

1) PUT ICE WATER IN YOUR BODY. Ice water is your best friend and the #1 way to drop your body temp. Drink more than you think you need (like, at least a half-gallon a day and closer to a gallon or more if you have to be outside doing manual work all day) to cool your insides down and stay hydrated. Have some bananas, trail mix, or a sports drink to help replace the electrolytes you’re sweating out and keep you from getting cramps, but try to have most of your fluid intake be water. I used to take a giant water bottle, fill it part way with water, and freeze it on its side so the ice would slowly melt over the course of the day and my water would stay cold longer.

2) PUT ICE WATER ON YOUR BODY. Cold water, ice, or a damp rag on your head and neck, the backs of your knees, the insides of your elbows, and under your armpits will help you cool down the best, because your blood runs close to the surface in those places. Cold packs designed for injuries or lunchboxes, bags of frozen vegetables, etc. can substitute for ice water as well. Even room-temp water will pull heat away from your body better than body-temp sweat will, especially if it’s humid, so if you don’t have enough ice, the sink, bathtub, or hose will do fine. Dipping your feet into cool water helps a ton as well if you have to sit and work and don’t want your clothes to be wet.

3) WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET SO MUCH ICE?  To make sure you have enough ice to last you the weekend, especially through a potential power failure, I recommend getting a cooler (even one of the cheap styrofoam ones is fine in a pinch) and ~10lbs of ice from the big coolers at most gas stations, drug stores, or grocery stores. Try to do this now, before anybody loses power, and store as much in your freezer as you have space for to keep it from melting. You can use it for drinking or to keep your food cold in a power failure. You can use it for a party later if you don’t end up needing it during the heat wave, but you will probably be very happy you had it.

4) AIR FLOW. Being inside a room with the windows closed is the worst possible place to be if you don’t have A/C, because glass windows create a greenhouse effect and the hot air can’t escape. If at all possible, find a shaded place outside where you can catch any possible breeze. If not, open all your windows and, if it’s safe, doors so you can get a cross-breeze. Hopefully you have window screens to keep pets and kids in and bugs out. If not, you’re gonna have to do your own risk assessment. Fans of all sizes and descriptions are your friend; ceiling fans should be set to spin counterclockwise in summer. Even if you have A/C, finding or making a handheld fan will be worthwhile for when you have to venture outside. If you aren’t in a situation where you need to conserve ice, blowing air over a cooler full of ice will give you a makeshift A/C. 

5) SHADE. You will probably immediately notice that direct sunlight is a miserable place to be when it’s super hot. Find or make a shaded location, and don’t be afraid to move around to avoid the sun as the day goes on. Stay on the shady side of the sidewalk whenever you walk someplace. Try to shade your windows as best you can without obstructing airflow using blinds, curtains, shutters, etc. especially if they’re directly in the path of the sun. Do not be a jerk to your neighbors if their shade solutions are ugly. If you can get a shade for your car windshield, I highly recommend it, as the steering wheel, dashboard, seatbelts, and even seats can quickly become too hot to touch in a sealed car and will hold that heat for a long time.

6) CLOTHING. Light-colored, loose clothing that is as close to 100% cotton or linen as you can find is your friend. It doesn’t necessarily have to be short as long as it’s breathable. You will sweat through anything you wear, so I personally prefer only wearing machine-washable stuff. Sun hats, sunscreen, sunglasses, aloe gel for sunburns, mosquito repellent, anti-chafing supplies, etc are all worth looking into if you aren’t used to spending time in the heat.

7) TIMING. Try to stay out of the sun and avoid doing anything strenuous in the middle of the day when the heat is the worst. If you have a choice, plan to be more active early in the morning and late at night when the temperature is more bearable, and take a break in the middle of the afternoon.

Here’s a graphic from the CDC about how to recognize heat-related illnesses and what to do about them. I will add to this that if it’s hot and you stop sweating, you are getting to a dangerous level of dehydration and need to drink something BEFORE you start having more serious problems.

Tip from an EMT: the big difference between Heat Exhaustion and a Heat Stroke is confusion. If someone seems overheated and in distress, but can still hold a conversation and answer questions appropriately, they still need help but not as drastically. Most of the time it can still be reversed by simply getting them into a cool environment and giving them cool water to sip on. Electrolyte replacement will be a must.

If they seem overheated and are slurring their words, unable to answer your questions appropriately, or unable to talk at all, those are key indicators that they may be having a heat stroke and need medical attention ASAP.

For my muslim/hijabi sisters:

In order to stop the culture of faking orgasms, we need to stop the culture of shaming others for their sexual experiences.

Orgasms are NOT the defining characteristic of your sexual prowess. They are great, they’re lovely when they happen, but for the love of science, stop bringing them up higher than they need to be. 

This one’s a pretty big deal.  “Did you come?”  

All of these are fucking awesome answers.  Including the last one.  They’re also 100% legitimate answers.  Including the last one.

Only the last one is even a little bit “negative,” and, really, how bad, arrogant, or egocentric a lover do you have to be that you’d rather not know when your partner says “here are some great ways to help me come next time, lover?”

If on the other hand you’re going to panic or be unhappy about that last answer then you’re not a bad lover (no shame either way) but your sex life will be less workable.  With the result that you’ll continue having, well, the same result.

To be honest, whether you or your partner comes isn’t the most important thing about sex.  It’s whether you’re both satisfied afterwards.  The only trick being that 

Asking “did you come” isn’t really the right question.  “Does this work for you” is way healthier.  That’s the culture we want to look for and encourage.

—

P.S. Your partner isn’t a video game.  His or her orgasms aren’t a boss fight.  The question you want to ask isn’t “did I beat the previous high score” but “would you like to play again.”

“Listening to the signs”

i hope you heal from the things no one ever apologized for