so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

i need all the help i can get for finals

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.

I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend

Criminy fuck! Between this and RDJ seeing your posts on Facebook, you must be a saint not to let it all go to your head.

RDJ reposted me, with credit. Lynda rebloged my potato, both cool things but nothing to get an ego about.

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March

Safety inspection in the Mines of Moria.

But y’all not ready for THAT conversation

Yrahrabbrabyababrabow? Yabayayayow. *Click click click click click click click click click click click*

Please this person successfully destroyed me send help

POV: you’re getting your teeth cleaned and your dental hygienist is acclaimed horror mangaka junji ito

I always forget that he has a dental PhD. Which he’s actually admitted provided a lot of fuel for his mouth based body horror.

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

[video by crowbabies. original caption: My stinky baby]

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades

they cut it because of the ONE gay reference

Same energy

both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter

Omg 😂

I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.

I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.

Here for the sensitive masculinity and broody femininity sm love

As best I can tell, the back of the doll box’s text reads: RICHARD is a handsome, wealthy widower who cannot seem to get over the loss of his first wife … until you came along! His kids are now Your Little Step Children, who you feel conflicted about to say the least. Richard’s silences are full of sorrow; he has a void in his heart that perhaps you can fill. He just has to accept that his first wife is gone … or is she?

LITERALLY the most Lynch thing i’ve seen

I am DYING to know what their parents are like that their kids all turned out like this

god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic

psychic: these are hieroglyphics… the spirits are trying to communicate…

home inspector: you put new paint over old paint and now the old paint is bleeding through, that’s why you’re not supposed to do that

homeowner: my daughter’s room is always cold… cold like the dead…

home inspector: you put furniture on top of her heating vent

business owner: i got locked in the bathroom even though the door has no lock

home inspector: it has a lock. the lock is right there. on the knob.

Hi i have just binged four episodes and would like to report that BRIAN, CERTIFIED HOME INSPECTOR is my new hero for life

BRIAN

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

who wants to see the worst thing ive seen this week

too bad, im showing you anyway

a non-photoshopped picture of someone actually wearing them, for your viewing pleasure

THIS THREAD HAS GOTTEN SO MUCH BETTER

blankets make him so happy 

(via)

Some of my fave Jewish Bernie memes of the day lol