WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME

This woman deserves an award. 👏💥

i hate this 

You can’t reinvent Homestuck if Homestuck was a prophecy the entire time

THE LORD OF THE RINGS (1978)

gandalf got jukes

others: “so, how ~southern~ are you?”

me: “The entrance of my hometown has a shrimp boat sitting in the main street. At Christmas theres a shrimper Santa and alligators pulling him instead of reindeer.”

others: “what?!”

me:

this is  the only xmas content i want to see, fuck everything else. Shrimper Santa and his flying albino alligators 

@blackzagan

OH MY GOD GHATS WHERE THE IMAGE IS FROM I LOVE IT

How you turn my world, you precious thing.

Labyrinth (1986) dir. Jim Henson

favorite trope: the very important hand touch in period dramas

*begrudgingly reblogs while grumbling* this is exactly my aesthetic

That last one is FRISKY. I literally leaned back a little. BOTH HANDS? And that gentle glide over the top before the clasp? -fans self-

How dare you put this kinky hand holding on my dash? That little grope at the end was TOO MUCH

i seriously fainted at that last one. where are your gloves people! is this pornhub?

mood whenever another online multiplayer game comes out instead of a story-driven single player game

still the biggest mood

new reaction image

Me, about to become the new owner of the local Denny’s

i have been in america lately and tried its Various cuisine’s here is my review

wendys

cook out

steak n shake

cracker barrel

costco

chipotle

sonic drive thru

taco bell

sheetz

my kind or content

Please read this whole thing because it only escalates the food related nonsense

That’s not a cursed image

Chess v2.001 Patch Notes

- Fuck pawns knights bishops and kings

- Rooks go hog wild

One of my favorite movies (and most quotable). 

RIP WILLIAM GOLDMAN.  THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES.

I’m not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me “why would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?” They’re 11

An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, “A little slappy to make daddy happy?”

I did not give him a high five.

A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said “im crying on the inside”

Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.

Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds.

Oh my god I love this. Thank you for letting those kids be the dorks all high schoolers are.

Everyone do yourselves a favor and click on this link to have a transformative media-based experience

I don’t need to. The Detroit Lions will still suck and I’ll continue betting on them because I’m stupid.

No you…. really need to click the link

What the actual fuck

Fixed it! Christmas 2017 is the year Rudolph finally shuts down Santa for his ruthless opportunism