this frame from the fallout tv show is so funny i nearly puked watching it

………… love u siken

Wow

CREATURE????

just when you think it couldn’t be worse, you have to battle a creature

I’m choosing to believe him because I think there should still be mystery and adventure in the world

Okay I looked this one up. He said he talked to God, made up some songs, and lost nine kilos during his 20ish hours in the water. He was also completely nude when he was rescued.

hero’s journey

and this man? Odysseus

he also ate some kind of stick

what if i just rest my eyes for a second

what if i just check out whats going on under this cozy blankie for like a minute. two minute

oh no

i mean at any given moment this IS playing on a loop in my head.

no because literally why would she believe cary was homosexual when they were busy fucking

women learned about the concept of love languages and never stfu

I hope our baby’s love language is acts of service

I’m not going to explain myself

this image feels appropriate to put here

He was about to show the reason why people called him howl

happy 1st birthday Howl Pegging Comic ❤️

HAPPY 200K HOWL PEGGING COMIC 😭👏 jesus christ

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

curious friends and family: hey why does your kid have golden eyes

paladin who for sure fucked the dragon instead of killing it, thinking fast: dragons uh. reincarnate. surprised you didn’t know about that. it’s a common fact that i definitely did not make up. no further questions

"sexualizing or fantasizing about real people is bad" is still my favorite tumblr opinion

this might've been twitter but i'd like to remind everyone of the subsequent 400 IQ take, "you should ask people for consent before masturbating to the thought of them"

WHAT

i think i saw that tweet actually! they said specifically that witchy and spiritual people KNOW you're getting off to them and you should ask first lmao. if that's not projecting idk what is

this is making my brain short circuit

No. Yes we do know, i receive nasty disturbing visions out of nowhere and when i walk past them again i instantly know as well as them from their facial language. but if they are hot then yes i enjoy it and its not really bad but You Should At Least Ask Psychic Permission beforehand please.....

i would love to study you

I mean from a witchy perspective, if you know someone has fantasised about you just from walking past them, then that's your fault for not erecting proper psychic wards. It's not some random stranger's responsibility to deal with you projecting your psyche everywhere

how did this post turn into this what the fuck is happening

[We pass each other on the street and my overwhelming psychic power smashes your wards like an egg. You are unable to resist my erotic fantasies about the canadian supreme court.]

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now

made some affirmations for my fellow grocery shoppers out there

Reblog if you didn’t write My Immortal

We’re going to find the author by process of elimination.

as a kid, I walked into a closet, saw an enormous snake, and then walked out. I walked up to my dad, as you do, and said "dad there's a huge snake in the closet"

so he smiled smugly, grabbed his knife (I think it was a machete?), walked off, and then I heard him scream followed shortly by three panicked slams

it turns out he didn't actually think he'd find a huge snake in there, but it sure was there, and he sure did chop it into three pieces

I wish I could believe you mean "as a father" but I know you mean "as a man"

if it makes you feel better, I'll call him daddy while I'm enjoying him as a man

I don't think that makes me feel better but thank you for sharing anyway

Without wishing to derail the horny posting about OPs dad (it’s very funny), there was just… a giant snake in the closet? What was it doing there??? How did it get in!?!?

well it didn't walk there, so we can rule that out at least