The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.” 

no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies

Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book

Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.

Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.

“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”

it got better

It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like

You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them

And there is literally no common sense

Anywhere to be found

Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve 

Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up

The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.

But, but, but, you know the one person

the one person

who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?

Severus Snape.

Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.

‘Severus, he is my cousin.’

And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it

That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’

and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’

and just

Spare. Snape goes spare.

I WANT TO DRAW ALL OF THIS

I want to draw all of this as a mini comic so badly

“We’ll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes,” said Professor Lupin. “Are you all right, Harry?“  Harry didn’t ask how Professor Lupin knew his name.

Okay Harry dear let me tell you how he knew your name:

Pooh stop running from your fucking problems

me

@sexual-texts (via sexual-texts)

Man how do people work in retail for like 3 years. I admire them for that because 6 months of this has been hard enough mentally.

You just gotta get to that special mental place where u don’t give a shit. Like youll be saying to the customer “yeah im really sorry about that. I know. I understand. Im really sorry. Youre right it is ridiculous. Im sorry” but your eyes are vacant and youre thinking about street fighter combos and what songs might sound good slowed down

Who Remembers This Episode?

Clint! You should not be here.

Remember when Patrick’s occasional stupidity was used to create really clever and funny, albeit random, scenes? Remember when he wasn’t flanderized into being an idiot without any personality? Remember when Spongebob used to be funny? Remember when the episodes used to be good? Remember. Remember the good Spongebobs. Remember the Alamo. Remember the Titans. Remember who you are. Remember.

I hope that someday you all become filled with so much happiness that it heals every part of you.

every single person who reblogs this with get a pun in their asks. every. single. person.

a concept: me, you, at an aquarium holding hands and looking at sea turtles