my dad is infuriating to talk to bc he will pounce on any weakness or chance to humiliate, he will make some up if need be. he acts like it’s a joke and other ppl will laugh at it if it’s not them he’s after. it’s really difficult even now for me to talk to ppl without doing the same, down to the urge to jump on typos in chat.
I used to do it a lot tho, and it was kind of a rush to finally be the one making jokes out of other ppl. I was bullied incessantly and violently as a kid but as I got older I got quicker with wit and it was such a fucking relief. bc when you’re the attacker, you’re safe. it’s not enough to be ‘neutral’ neither being hurt or hurting, bc u have learnt that ppl will come along and pounce on you. attacking gives you the power, and then the fear of being vulnerable again makes you keep going, bc u can’t let up or you’ll be right back there in the danger zone where any innocuous comment or action will lead to a stream of abuse.
so if ur a person who has been or is being mistreated and ur wondering why verbally devastating strangers on the internet makes u feel good, and why u can’t stop until everyone can see you Won, but then u gotta move right on to the next one and the next no matter how many times you’ve supposedly publicly proved your point, idk I sympathise I guess but it’s gonna make u feel like a real piece of shit human one day, and that feeling is gonna last way longer than the rush of finally being the one doing the hurting.
