It's Flowever

hey followers. have you ever wanted to know how it feels to be inside a bag of cornflakes

ye

enter the cornflakes domain

OK So pirates during the golden age had the “common chest,” which was a portion of each prize that went towards common goals: ship maintenance, etc. 

It also went towards medicine and taking care of pirates who got injured, and  compensation for those who lost limbs. Disabled pirates generally were accommodated on their ships, and not kicked off: there was one captain (whose name I forgot to write down but can look up if anyone’s interested) who couldn’t use his hands. 

The point that i’m getting at here is 

18th Century Pirates Had Universal Healthcare and Disability Benefits

Which the united states government, 300 years later, has yet to figure out. 

acting like polyamory will solve cheating is ….. cracked . lol. infidelity is rooted in lack of respect for your partner and a general absence of integrity and decency. cheating doesn’t happen bc u are Constrained By Oppressive Monogamy. it is a choice. and you are an asshole

Just to let y’all know where I stand

Reasons I believe my friend is secretly some kind of deity

1) First time we spoke was a week after the beggining of freshman year she summed up my entire character and most of the events of my life Sherlock style. I asked her how the hell she knew all that. She just shrugged and said she figured out our entire class already.

2) The one time we had religion class instead of ethics she listened to the teacher for a few minutes, laughed and told me:

“Humans have wished to be gods so much they’ve forgotten they have to ability to create them. Imagination has truly suffered from this ‘monotheism’ stuff.”

I was confused and asked her if she was an atheist. She rolled her eyes and said:

“Oh I believe in god alright. I just don’t think the bastard deserves to be worshipped.”

3) Out of nowhere she gave me this advice:

“The only truth a liar ever told was that lies weren’t going to save you. Don’t become the liar who has to pass that wisdom on, because they speak from experience.”

4) To this day, she has one of those old-timey phones with buttons she only uses to ocassionally call someone. When I asked her why she never got a smartphone she got pouty:

“I hate social media. On Facebook they talk a lot but never say anything. If I wanted to listen to people moan about their problems and ask for help they don’t expect I’d listen to their prayers.” (Notice the choice of words)

5) I noticed she was stiff and I offered her a massage since I’m really good at it but when i started kneading her back I swear to this day those were not muscles I felt. I asked her what she did to turn her muscles into rocks covered with a thin layer of skin and she kinda froze then shrugged and said she was just really, really stiff. My hands hurt after ten minutes when I can usually go for an hour. Next time I offered she seemed surprised and laughed. She still has rocks for muscles.

6) We were having a debate over the way neural pathways are formed (I study biology and she forensics) and I jokingly asked if I could have her brain for study when she dies. She laughed.

“Sure, if you find a way to kill me you can have it. I’m actually curious what you’re gonna find.”

7) One time she was tired and miserable and I tried to comfort her. We both have really dark sense of humor so I told her she could scare the dead out of their graves with that glare. She told me the dead can’t come back and I rolled my eyes and said ‘obviously’ but she continued:

“When you die you descend to the underworld with nothing to lose. To keep you, they give you something to lose. When you want to return, they will demand it back. That’s why nobody ever leaves. The only way out is to never enter.”

8) One day she just came up to me with a disappointed look on her face. When I asked her what was wrong she was quiet for a few seconds and then just told me:

“Betrayals committed in good intentions are still damning. Just… keep that in mind.” Then she left and didn’t speak to me for three days. I still don’t know what she meant but even three years later I haven’t forgotten it.

9) We were casually sitting on a bench when, out of nowhere, she asked me: “Is it just me or have humans gotten dumber? Or have they always been this stupid and I just haven’t been paying attention?”

10) She asked me if I ever wondered what it was like to die. I said no but told her I would tell her when I found out. I meant it as a ghost joke but she smiled at me and said:

“Great. I’ll wait for you to come back. Maybe you’ll even remember me.”

In conclusion, she is some kind of low-key god and she lost her faith in humanity even before we lost our faith in her but she’s stuck with us because immortality is a bitch.

P.S. I just remembered her name is a variation on ‘Eve’. Maybe I should reconsider my atheist status?!

UPDATE (Jan 9, 2019): Since people liked this so much I’m making it a thing. All I have about Eve can be found under #god goes to college

you ever have teeth just to flex on birds

Hm. This post got bad

me too rueber 

this unusually golden house sparrow is its strange color due to a genetic mutation called leucism. leucistic animals lack correct pigmentation, and can be varying shades paler than non-leucistic animals. leucistic birds have weaker feathers, and tend to be easy targets for predators, meaning that their rarity is increased since many of them don’t make it to adulthood.

source: (x)

alternate title: UH OH, Is Everything Dying?!

if you want a clearer picture of the current biodiversity crisis, presented in a manner that will hopefully not make you cry, I’d recommend giving this a go

I was reading this nodding happily until I got to the end

Into the Spiderverse + comic book style (part 1)

cleric duty

Since a medieval-inspired fantasy setting would probably be using dice made from bone, necromancers are unbeatable at gambling.

Fantasy casino guy: “Hey, Gul'nar'thx, you wanna come roll some knucklebones?”

Gul'nar'thx the Black Priest of Thulgnarf, as his eyes turn into big cartoon dollars signs: “Oh, boy, would I!”

Hedonism as a concept is so dope and yall gotta unbrainwash your religious upbringing nostalgia and realize that life IS about kicking back and eating grapes around a fire in nothing but a swim suit and drinking margaritas. A little hedonism never hurt nobody

Dionysus, is that you?

Can you believe we live in a society where people are kissing Elsa’s ass and viewing her as a great big sister despite neglecting Anna through their whole ass childhood just cause she has the ability to make fucking freezer ice cubes while Nani, a dedicated brown woman who despite lost her parents by a lethal storm had to push her grief aside because Lilo was now her main priority, took care of her, fed her, probably paid money for her hula classes, busted her ass at her job to financially support Lilo, busted her ass to emotionally support Lilo, supported Lilo’s photography talent even though Lilo’s theme was a little weird, got her a dog and even during moments where Nani hit was hitting rock bottom (ex: getting fired but didn’t put her frustration out on Lilo) she did whatever it took to keep her little sister from being taken away, and wanted nothing but happiness and safety for her.