LIFE IS ABOUT KICKING ASS NOT KISSING IT

all these gay girls are like "wow i want a big lady to step on me" but where is the love for short girls stepping on you? short girl intimidating you with her presence and body language alone until you fall over and she steps on you?? short girl taking down a girl who's much taller than her and making her submit??? where's the love for my shadow of the colossus bitches???

WHERE'S THE LOVE FOR GIRLS LIKE THIS

op this is a very hot concept and your post is valid but did you HAVE to explain this with a gif from penguins of madagascar

ak-47 knocked my fork out of my bowl of rice while i was talking on the phone to a doctor. she did it again while i was typing this post

Avtomat Kalashnikova

@identifying-guns-in-posts

Very funny. This is clearly just someone's cat--

Wait. Zoom in. Enhance. Ahhh, I see now.

AK-47 Type 1 (based on Avtomat Kalashnikova pattern, chambered in 7.62x39mm)

You can tell it's a Type 1 (one of the original production models of the classic AK-47) by the following traits:

Some people believe that the AK-47's loose tolerances make it more resilient to malfunction if it gets dirty, which isn't really all that true. It is, however, a firearm that functions fairly well on very little maintenance.

Which, that's impossible for a cat, of course. So definitely a gun and not a cat.

hey nice work! we were just about to go rob a bank with her

"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other

Occasionally someone will bring a new post into the ecosystem, and those days are VERY exciting. ENRICHMENT!

What a year this week has been.

It’s Monday.

It sure as hell is.

The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets

The funniest is if you reblog this on a Monday that is also January the 1st.

-20 minutes later-

Shippers gonna ship. Drawers gonna draw :))

–

Some notes on the artwork:

Imagine this:

Ava, turning her cap around, yelling “VOLT TACKLE!” before the halo bursts and wipes out any demon in her presence.

Camila calls it Pokénun Go, and supplies Ava with cool moves to try.

Beatrice usually just stands there with her phone out, recording everything for Yasmine.

Ava would probably love Pokemon Go. She usually has too much energy to sit around and play video games for hours on end (It turns out that years stuck in a lumpy bed in a Catholic orphanage kills your patience for sitting back and binge watching or gaming).

Pokemon Go would give her an excuse (as if she needs one) to wander around exploring places on her and Beatrice’s travels. She’d explore little nooks and crannies as she hunts down critters on her phone. And they’ve literally added hundreds of these little monsters since Ava last laid hands on a Pokemon game, long before car accidents, halos, and otherworldly beings turned her world upside down.

Lilith vows to ruin the experience by telling Ava that literally no one plays the game anymore but Beatrice staunchly stops her at every turn. Not that it matters much.

Camila only feeds the interest further when Ava finds out that Camila has been ruling over the gym situated right over the Cat’s Cradle. The two of them fight back and forth over it whenever they have free time when Ava and Beatrice visit.

Mother Superion barely understands what’s going on but still has Yasmine send Ava a Pikachu Beanie with ears as a Christmas gift from the OCS. Mary decides the gift wouldn’t be complete if they didn’t send Beatrice a matching Eevee beanie.

A poodle clipped and dyed to resemble a pony.

Every time I see this I go “oh, neat pony” and scroll past while my brain chugs through the caption like the slowest computer on earth and I have to scroll back up to it

@0kkvlt have you seen the bear?

It’s the same poodle

Her name is Bijou and her owner likes turning her into other things

I saw the bear and said “oh, cool bear” out loud to myself, I think I may just actually be very stupid

Customer Service Wolf.

That wolf embodies the thoughts of most in customer service

Last year, I was talking with my mom about parenting and she said "well at least I never made you feel like I didn't love you"

I proceeded to tell her about a time when I was a kid and she was yelling, screaming, and throwing things, and I said "I love you" in that small timid kid voice and she said

"well I don't love you right now"

Our relationship was never the same after that and she didn't even remember that it happened.

the very last second made it, tbh

Boris won’t stop annoying me for dinner even though dinner is in 40 minutes so I’m trying to teach Boris when to expect dinner using base-bean

sulking

Las leyes de la física son inquebrantables.

This is legitimately the funniest thing ive ever seen

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

REALLY IMPORTANT PSA

THE 52 HERTZ WHALE HAS A FRIEND.

HE IS NOT THE LONELIEST WHALE IN THE WORLD.

MARINE SCIENTISTS HEARD TWO 52 HERTZ CALLS WITHIN TEN MINUTES OF ONE ANOTHER OFF THE COAST OF CALIFORNIA.

I REPEAT: HE HAS A FRIEND. SOMEONE CALLED BACK.

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!