Stuff I learn. Shared with you.

“John beat Mary.

Mary was beaten by John.

Mary was beaten.

Mary was battered.

Mary is a battered woman.”

Wait, what happened to John’s role in this? Where did he go? Why are we not asking questions about John?

From Upworthy: A TED Talk That Might Turn Every Man Who Watches It Into A Feminist? It’s Pretty Fantastic.

This is such important stuff to think about for all of us who write and teach about domestic violence. 

it is so upsetting listening to so many males talk about all of the times they have gone on road trips alone and slept in their cars alone or on the side of the road, or travelled overseas alone and slept on the floor of strangers homes or in parks or at hostels, and they appear to have such freedom in that they are able to be alone in ways that females, unfortunately, cannot. and there is an ignorance surrounding this in that these boys never seem to comprehend just how fortunate they are that strange people and unfamiliar places and the dark of night are not their enemies but rather exciting, promising things.

“Yes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording—all this is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night…”

― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

I live in defiance of the rules that rob me of my personhood. I will not let fear rule me, even if it is rational. 

going to the doctor when you’re chronically ill is weird. 

It’s like imagine everything in your house is on fire, and you’re standing there and the fire department come in like, describe the fire to me and maybe we can find what caused it and put it out. 

and you can’t just say everything so you’re like… well the fire in the curtain is the biggest but the fire in the photo albums might be doing the most damage also the fire in the couch is really inconvenient 

occasionally the fire guy is like, well your tv is on fire so it might be electronic-fireitus but that would cause other things like fire in the dvd player 

and you’re like, oh yes. that’s been on fire for years. I forgot to mention it because it’s always been a relatively small fire. It’s right next to the bookshelf which has much more fire. 

and then the fire guy is like, oh. I wouldn’t worry about that. book shelf fire just happens sometimes.

In between having my two children (now 16 and 12) I had an abortion. Newly divorced and struggling to make ends meet for myself and my young son, I knew that I was not equipped to provide for TWO children on my own. Plain and simply, my allegiance was to my child, and not to the group of cells within me with the potential to become a child. I had to make sure that my firstborn would be okay, first and foremost. Years later, when I was in a more stable place and able to hold our head above water, I found out I was pregnant again. I felt confident in my ability to add another child to my household and keep everyone afloat, so I excitedly continued the pregnancy. 

My life is amazing now and my children are beyond what I could have ever expected. My son is a junior in high school with his sights set on college in Germany and later, being a published author and a professor of humanities. My daughter is a straight A student, incredibly driven, and on her way to a successful career in ballet and was accepted into the Joffrey Academy, where she begins tomorrow. Because I made the choices I did, I have been able to create a strong space for them to grow and receive the support they need to fulfill their potential.  

I regret nothing and if I had it to do over, I’d choose exactly the same way knowing what I know now. I support every woman in making her choices and trust her to know what will work best for her. 

My favourite moment in the series.

#it’s just so awesome to see a young woman surrounded by men who are earnestly interested in her opinion #esp. on *ships* #do you know how often i see women get shut down when they try to join in discussions on cars #but they’re all like #”nah this girl knows her shit” #”let’s talk to her about it” #i mean they SHUT DOWN A GUY ASKING HER TO DANCE BECAUSE SHE’S *TALKING* (via dropkicks)

Is no one going to mention that she is doing all this mechanic speak wearing a frilly pink ball gown? I mean could you slap gender roles any harder in the face?

SHiNY

This is amazing:)

Dear future husband, Here’s a few things You’ll need to know if you wanna be My one and only all my life

I think monogamy is an unrealistic expectation Most people hold that up as an ideal, and that’s totally cool But my sexual and emotional needs are too diverse to be satisfied by a single person