Partially Deceased Syndrome sufferer

It’s too ugly to be human. It’s too ugly to be you. - Siken

hitting milestones is fun.. i did a follow forever at 100 and not a lot has changed since then so instead of boring y’all with another one i’m gonna be nice to you and do a giveaway!!! ok let’s do this.

And I was better where  I was miserable, why didn’t you leave me there?

<3 

Daily Poem #1 by Nick A West (via nickawest)

Simon keeps his expression impassive. “He had his reasons,” he promises. Simon understands it, he does. If Simon had to live with the person who tore apart someone he loved… well, he does. He lives with himself every day. But he can’t cut out the part of him that killed his mother, so he tries to practice what he preaches. He tries to move on and deal with what he did. He shakes his head. “I don’t think I can ever go back. Me, he… he tried to accept me, but he couldn’t forgive me. And I think he tried, I think he… really tried. But he couldn’t forgive me.”

Kieren remained silent for a while, wanting to think of something positive or helpful to say, which didn't turn out to be simple at all. In his opinion, Simon could always find the right words just like that, but he was different. Being optimistic wasn't exactly part of who he was, and frankly, he understood what it was like to have at least one family member who wasn't able to deal with who they truly were and let go of who they used to be. Perhaps many words weren't needed. "Time has passed, Simon. Things can be different. You won't know if you don't try." he tried quietly, placing his hand to Simon's cheek.

My Tribe (like family):

"Can’t be your best self until you find your tribe. I’m still looking for mine.”

Admire From Afar (you intimidate me but pls love me):

"Somethin’ was callin’ to me. It was you.”

Come, Weary Traveler (we should rp if we haven't):

“Stay. Stay for dinner.”

It’s a difficult question. Simon should’ve expected that Kieren might ask it, but he’s — stuck by the query, because he doesn’t want to lie to Kieren, but he doesn’t know if he can give him the details, either. “I never actually got the chance,” he murmurs, clearing his throat. “My dad took me home from the treatment centre, but I was only at home one evening. He tried, but he saw things in the Rising that he couldn’t forget, couldn’t… uh, forgive. So he made me leave.”

"One evening? He gave up in one evening?" Kieren took a small step back, creating some distance between them so he could look Simon in the eyes. He had been too worried about his own situation, about his parents and his sister and how to make them see reality, that he hadn't even taken the time to think about Simon's situation. He just assumed they were alive and well, perhaps even waiting for their son to return. "Do you plan on seeing him again, just to see if he's ready to accept you now?"

"Baby steps," Simon echoes, nodding his head and then pressing a kiss into Kieren’s hair, taking in a deep breath as he noses against Kieren’s copper hair. Kieren is particularly beautiful, as dead boys go; his hair sits against his skin in the right way, making him striking rather than frightening. Well, to Simon’s mind. He knew not everyone felt the same. "Good plan."

"You really are good at giving advice and helping others." he mumbled, his words barely audible since his face was still pressed against Simon's chest. Of course, he wasn't particularly thrilled about breaking the news to his family, but with Simon by his side, it wouldn't be as bad. At least he had someone to support him. "How did you tell your folks? Or did they just realize it themselves?"

"… Mm. Do you know what really happens in there? Those who turn rabid, or the ones sent back as non-compliants… they don’t come back. The doctors are brutal, conducting experiments in the name of developing their new drugs. I wouldn’t even call it experimenting; torture is more suitable for the stuff that goes on. That’s what the government don’t want us to know. We’re monsters to them."

"I've heard about something like that when I was still at the treatment centre. I asked the doctor what happens to those who don't respond to the Neurotriptyline. They told me that… they 'take care' of them. But I didn't know anything about the experiments, let alone the torture. That's awful. I don't understand why it has to be like this. I've never told you this, but my roommate was 'taken care of' because he took something and he turned rabid." 

"Are you serious,though? Just jump out of some dark corner or something   ”

"Will that be enough to scare them? Sounds easy. Too bad we won't be able to enjoy trick or treating. It's not as if we can actually eat the candy."

"You know I wouldn’t have waited this long to tell you something like this."

"I know I should have told you, but I was waiting for the right moment. I suppose those moments don't really exist… At least I learned something and I feel sorry. Isn't that enough?"

“I never bit anyone how dare you say that. Its Halloween,its all about the scaring,if they dont want to be scared they better stay inside.”

"I suppose it does sound fun… Especially since there isn't much to do around here. Well, aside from surviving the chaos, of course. You're going to have to show me how to scare someone, though."

[text] i’d want us to be in bed. touching each other. [text] god, i want to touch you.

[Text] My bed is quite small… You'd have to be really close.  [Text] Which parts of my body would you like to touch most, Simon?