IF YOU WERE A TREE YOU'D BE A NICE TREE

poor genji

I am 50% bitter and 100% salt

LEAF HEAD LEAF HEAD LEAF HEAD

LEAF HEAD LEAF HEAD LEAF HEAD

They Meet

tumblr isnt real we all just talk to ourselves online because we have depression

this bearded dragon enjoys dressing as a real dragon.

honestly the overwatch forums are hilarious for all the wrong reasons

I snuck some fake music albums into a local music store

I kinda wish the “Dad songs” album was forreal. 😂

How the Transition Feels 🏫

I don’t know if you guys know this or not but the girl and the sailor didn’t even know each other, the sailor was drunk and sexually assaulted her in the street and they got off the boat. history lesson. boom.

UM

NO

THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED

Upon hearing the news that the war was over, everyone was celebrating in the streets. The sailor was overwhelmed with the joy of the moment and grabbed a nurse and kissed her before they parted ways. She didn’t see it as a sexual assault, she understood that everyone was celebrating. And it certainly wasn’t simply a drunken act.

Stop trying to ruin this picture. It captures the joy of the end of a really awful time. 

If I’m not mistaken, these two remain friends to this day. 

You aren’t mistaken, they visit each other and their families and exchange christmas cards.

And this is him now:

GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT PEOPLE. LORD

boom.

someone: You HAVE to style short hair.

me, with my hair sticking up in all directions like some kind of square enix protag: Interesting,

Patrick was a fake ass friend to spongebob. He was a bitch

Source?

episode where Patrick fam came over and sponegbob pretended to be dumb for him and Patrick flip flop ass started making fun of him.

Patrick was cold for that

And that episode where Mr Krabs gave them both a toy to share and he selfishly dodged and ignored SpongeBob to keep it for himself? TRIFLING

EXACTLY Patrick ain’t never been a true friend

real friends……how many of us?

And the time he ate his fucking chocolate bar & tried to jack spongebob for his.. nah son

Patrick did spongebob dirty so many times smh he a Gemini

Patrick has no self awareness.

what about when his slug wanted to be friends with patrick and he just ditched spongebob and clowned on him for it

When they were raising the clam together and Patrick kept leavin spongebob all day with the baby so he could watch tv smh

When patrick made spongebob believe he was ugly when he just had some bad breath

Wasn’t Patrick the one that ditched Spongebob in the advanced darkness at the bottom of the sea?

we’re pulling out the receipts tonight

Don’t be afraid to be “too much.” Call me 5 times a day because you wanna hear my voice or something came up and you wanna tell me immediately. Text me 12 times in a row when I don’t answer fast enough. Leave me cute texts when you can’t sleep. Hold my hand. Everywhere. Sit really close to me on the couch. Keep your hand on my thigh. Always have a part of you touching a part of me. Tell me you love me every hour I don’t care I want to be smothered in love holy fuck life is too short to hold back.

someone: what are you planning to do after college?

me:

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

I mean. 

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

I love this post

Them: hey man if you jump into the water you’ll fucking drown Me: i’m all in baby

“Away with you!” I exclaimed, swinging an oar toward the unyielding siren

“Oh, but we have anything you could ever want,” she cooed. I shook my head.

“I want for nothing! There is nothing you could offer me!” The siren paused for a moment.

“Dank Memes,” she said, “The Dankest Memes you co–” Her sentence was cut short by my epic cannonball into the water.

me: *shoves my entire face into my cat’s body*

cat: *heaves a heavy sigh as he grimly accepts his fate*