I am...

Me as a doctor: So I’m gonna need you to just keep that baby in for another 5 minutes. It’s the difference between a Scorpio moon and a Sagittarius moon, thank me later lol

This is how Beyoncé got her child self to mouth the lyrics for the Grown Woman video

me: i love being black i love black ppl

*has to scroll past a bunch of comments and reaction pics that i know are from black tumblr users*

me:

Me at a straight wedding

LMFAO

Know your history

If this ain’t the truth! 😂 @illuminatimess @acewiththelemonade @wakandas-vibranium @brianabreeze @soldierandawar

THE ACCURACY 😂😂😂 especially me wanting to fight anyone talking about her, like😒 you a WHOLE HATER/LOWKEY FAN😂

the accuracy…far too much

the left just wants mass amounts of illegal immigrants to live in the usa so that nice straight white boys like me are the only ones signed up for selective service and that way the next time there’s a big war we get exterminated so women and minorities can take over the country once we’re gone

this is the best post on this entire website

i do want this specifically

BIG GOALS

Y’all will lyft to to your next dick appointment but won’t lyft your hands up in glory to god

there’s apparently beef that happens between fraternal and identical twin communities n i think that’s funny n just the type of pettiness i like lol

identical twins: “omg fraternal twins don’t even count as real twins!”

fraternal twins: “ugh identical twins r creepy n have no individuality!”

me, a non twin: “LET EM KNOW”

god is a woman was on in the taxi and my driver was like “who sings this?” so I told him and he goes “hm she’s the one my son loves ha ha I wonder if she’s His Type” and I was just sat there thinking either your son is gay or likes taking the strap from tiny high femme adjacent tops but I wasn’t about to say that at 6.40am no ma'am