• ”You’re precisely why I work alone.” • ”How many plans do we have? Is there like a plan M?” • ”All right, let’s go break the law just one more time.” • ”He tried to kill us.” • ”More importantly, he didn’t pay us.” • ”What’s in it for me?” • ”There’s something wrong with you.” • ”I’m just very good at what I do.” • ”Oh, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.” • ”I’m a professional criminal and I find that disturbing.” • ”Well, somebody got to fight the injured, shoot, that’s my niche.” • ”As long as I don’t have to do anything immoral.” • ”No, absolutely not. No, I just need you to figure out how to…fake a miracle.” • ”Look, look… look man, you’re lucky on this deadline, I didn’t give you a baking soda volcano.” • ”The truth? The truth is what I say it is.” • ”Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get.” • ”People are like knives. Everything’s in context.” • ”Did you just kill a guy with an appetizer?” • ”It’s like a placebo effect. It’s not really working, but it makes you feel better anyway.” • ”You bailed on the job because you were up all night playing a game?” • ”Death haunts us every day, no matter where we are.” • ”I had fortune cookies for breakfast.” • ”Somebody find me a brain.” • ”Oh yeah, he’s definitely getting creepier.” • ”Don’t get mad, but…I may have spilled slushie in your car.” • ”I’m not-don’t try to change the subject!” • ”I was aiming for his leg.” • ”You want me to kick it?” • ”I’ma go and… freshen up a little bit. Maybe cry a little.” • ”Everything I learned about people, I learned ringing doorbells and in a bow tie.” • ”Jumping from a sky scraper, she’s cool. But making small talk, it’s like pure terror.” • ”I literally cannot make this slower or any more boring. Okay?” • ”You know why they say Justice wears a blindfold? So you can’t see that Justice is asleep.” • ”I am sure there’s reservoirs of boring you have yet to plumb.” • ”Are you here to kill me, [name]?” • ”WE JUST STOLE AN EIGHT MILLION DOLLAR STATUE! On, like, our day off!” • ”Hey, [name]. I got some dental work with your name on it.” • ”What do you say we hook up so I can give it to you?” • ”You were all trying to solve your version of the crime instead of just trying to… solve the crime.” • ”There’s a reason we work together.” • ”You actually expect this to work?” • ”No, you’re supposed to say “Wow, that’s just crazy enough to work!”“ • ”Incredibly, chance does seem to bend itself to his bizarre machinations.” • ”That’s his superpower.” • ”Screw therapy! That felt really good.” • ”So, you know your entire plan depended on me being a self-serving, utter bastard.” • ”Yeah, that’s a stretch.”

thedosian: adj. of, relating to, or characteristic of the world of Thedas ✯ - religious beliefs ☼ - opinion of the Chantry ✎ - literacy (can they read, write, what languages, etc.) ♛ - common or noble ♚ - titles (e.g. Hero, Champion, Lady/Lord, Teyrna/Teyrn) ❤ - marital status (married, unmarried, estranged, widowed) ✓ - their hobbies ✖ - their pet peeves ☺ - something they’re proud of ☹ - something they regret ♞ - a time they’ve felt powerful ♟ - a time they’ve felt powerless ❝ - something they’re always saying ❞ - something they’d never say ☠ - last words ➹ - Varric’s nickname for them (even if they’ve never met) ☄ - birthdate, day & year

• “The best way to convince people you’re not lying to them is to tell them you are.”
• “I might have dropped six allergy pills in your frosty while you were peeing.”
• “Did that joke just arrive in a time machine from 1992?”
• “They were like big, angry marshmallows!”
• “Clouds don’t kill people. People kill people.”
• “Why you dirty rascal with the suede, suede head.”
• “The chips say you’re a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater!”
• “How about you play six degrees of kiss my ass?”
• “Doodles are the windows to the soul.”
• “Your shirt’s like a genocide of colour. Somewhere a rainbow is weeping.”
• “Do you think I could borrow your underpants? Just for ten minutes.”
• “All I see is chocolate with hair on it.”
• “Nothing can dent our impenetrable bond.”
• “I don’t lose things; I place things in locations which later elude me.”
• “Was this chicken seasoned with molten lava?”
• “You cheeky screwball.”
• “I’m not big on nude handshakes.”
• “Now, let us go forth and kick much ass.”
• “You looked badass until you clocked yourself in the face.”
• “Are you asking me on a date beside this dead body?”
• “I will eat you in manageable, bite-sized pieces.”
• “Only psychos answer ads on Craigslist; you might as well have posted it on murdermethisinstant.com.”

• “Your mother would be ashamed of you.”
• “C’mon, the cops are stupid, they’ll never catch us.”
• “The car’s a piece of junk anyway, they’re not gonna miss it.”
• “Carry on the way you’re going and you’re gonna end up in prison.”
• “I’m not that much of a scumbag, I don’t steal from old ladies.”
• “One last score, then we’re out of the game, what do you say?”
• “I’m only doing this because I need to pay my dealer.”
• “Prison? Occupational hazard.”
• “They pissed me off, I made sure they won’t be walking for a while, no biggie.”
• “So you’re a drug runner or a drug dealer?”
• “Prison ain’t too bad, you’ve got a bed and they feed you.”
• “I get all tingly when you break into cars like that.”
• “I do it for the thrill – and to fund my drug habit.”
• “Did you kill him/her?”
• “I never meant to hurt anyone!”
• “I needed the money, what else could I do.”
• “We grew up around criminals, of course we became them.”
• “What kind of example are you setting for your kids?”
• “I grew up, you probably should too.”
• “He had it coming.”
• “I just gave him his final warning.”
• “I’m calling the cops!”
• “I’m passionate about two things, bank robbery and you.”
• “I’m a street rat, but I’m good at it.”
• “Dealing in an alley, classy as ever.”
• “If you don’t have my money, you know I’m going to have to teach you a lesson.”
• “Bonny and Clyde made this look so much more glamorous.”
• “One day we’ll be rich and we won’t have to do this anymore.”
• “That’s not your wallet is it?”
• “So I got in a fight, they owed me money.”