damn dude

Love the "quality check" portion of the Domino's tracker. I imagine some 14 year old Domino's worker stoned out of their mind doing this for a few minutes

As a former employee, can confirm this is what happens

if i ever interacted with you and it was awkward just know im sorry and painfully aware that sometimes i come off like a person who is having the first conversation of their life

"projectiles"

they're called money shots

who else up hurkleing their durkleing

on the phone with god rn to make sure im not on his “strongest warriors” list again for 2024

You ever just wake up from an incredibly graphic and realistic nightmare that was a pure psychological horror based on your own personal phobias and trauma and just roll over like “aw shit I got too hot last night I guess.” And then make toast like you didn’t just experience the nine circles of hell before 9 am

ra ra rasputin something something sour cream

no, no, i have faith in the hellsite. this will reach its targeted audience when it’s ready

they should invent sleeping that makes you less tired

First base is beating the shit out of each other second base is having a civil conversation

Third base is dying for each other fourth base is marriage

daily fave nick 🤍

I would make a really great candidate for being drowned in love and affection until the end of times, i really hope i get that job

‘don’t you want your favourite character to be happy???’ no? i want my favourite character to be interesting. i want me to be happy. which sometimes involves my favourite character being in exquisite agony

love that he keeps doing this. genuinely my favorite fucking bit

he has had like ten “final movies” and everytime i get sad about it. and then he makes another one. fucking love this guy

The only time I'm gonna trust a movie is Miyazakis final one is when I see his obituary and even then I'd side eye it cause I could see this man coming back from the grave to make another movie.

i like when ventposts self censor in a way thats completely incomprehensible to anyone else like 'im so sick of ****** ******* ******' . im sorry that youre going through it. can i buy a vowel

actually i love being a grown adult because i can stay up till 1am with work in a few hours and like. who is going to stop me. Myself? i have to laugh

will report back later on how this goes!