@iliketheword-moist / iliketheword-moist.tumblr.com
People... watch out for these things!
The saying applies with more than usual force here: if you're not paying for it, you're not the customer: you're the product being sold. (And maybe you're the product being sold even if you are paying for it.)
DO NOT MAKE YOUR PERSONAL PHYSICAL DATA AVAILABLE TO PEOPLE WHO COULD THEN SELL IT TO THOSE INVESTED IN USING IT TO SURVEIL YOU AND POTENTIALLY CHARGE YOU WITH CRIMES.
Harrison Ford hating playing Han Solo made him better at playing Han Solo because Han Solo did not want to be there doing those things either.
I can’t remember what talk show it was after TFA but the interviewer was like “Did it make you emotional putting on the [Han Solo] costume?” and Harrison Ford was like “No. It made me money.” which was like the most Han Solo thing a person could say.
bro doesnt even have the jennies (certain je ne sais quois)
My coworker Mike just started cracking up. Informed us someone was trying to make a test Outlook group at work and seems to have accidentally made it a real Outlook group.
Everyone added to the group is named Mike.
Creator of the group isn’t online yet but the Mikes are coming online in droves.
“Why was I added to this group? What do I have in common with all these other Mikes?” -one of the Mikes
“Ah, so this is Mikerosoft” (<- you’re never gonna guess what company I work for)
One Mike has suggested this is an effort by the group-creator to hunt Mikes for sport
Coworker (Mike T.) has informed us he had a meeting earlier today, and among the participants one person was missing (Mike S.) Current theory is first Mike casualty had occurred. More will follow.
Current suggestion is we attempt to add a non-Mike to the group, to test its security.
Coworker Alex: "Alex log, day 207. The Mikes have started to accept me as one of their own."
Delighted to inform you the group creator is not a Mike at all. It is apparently some guy named Ashton.
[ID: Ask from Anonymous that says: I can't decide which is funnier, the group creator being a fellow Mike or the group creator being a non-Mike. end ID.]
"What's Logic?" the first idiot asks.
The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example."
"Do you own a weedeater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good!"
The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, "Amazin!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The idoit is obviously catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I can't wait to take that logic class!!"
The idiot, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.
"Math, History, and Logic!" he replies.
"What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?" he asked.
"No," his friend replied.
"Gay."
The grip he had on that leaf... he wanted to go up
This video reads like a Calvin and Hobbs comic
That strangled "let go off the leaf" cracks me up each time
objectifying men in armor will literally never get old. like, work it shiny boy. hit ‘em with that old razzle dazzle you fuckin trash can. hottie! (tucks $5 into your cuirass)
Throws in some gold coins at the neck opening and hear it rattling all the way down.
abstract and modern art haters are sooo snobby like klein literally Created an entirely new pigment and then painted a canvas in a way where the brush strokes wouldn't be visible. the insinuation that people with no skill could reproduce that is so annoying because unless you are skilled at color mixing and painting you definitely couldn’t lmao
i hope it's okay to add this because i think it hits the nail directly on the head
Honestly, it's like picking up a book and saying "I know all these words, I can type, I could have written this" like there's no middle step between the technical ability and the finished work.
learned today (after googling it upon seeing the "Sadomasochism Brothers" post) that masochism was named by a psychiatrist who had read Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's erotic writing and was like "I feel safe in concluding that this man had Fucked-Up Freak Sex Disorder, which now until forever will bear his name", while von Sacher-Masoch was still alive. there are accounts of von Sacher-Masoch being like "bro what the fuck" about this
"I love women. I've...always loved women."
9-1-1 | 7x05: You Don't Know Me
I’ve just gotta be me 🏈
Ok now do NYT columnists
already this has tags in the notes like “#anti ai” but... this is just real life with almost everything. this is like grifter 101 please don’t exceptionalize needing to be critical of chatgpt.
This is literally how job interviews work, by the way, and then everyone is surprised the super-duper confident guy is also an incompetent moron.
This worked on Trump voters, with the added selling point that he's a piece of shit that gave them permission to be pieces of shit.
Talking to experts when I was young used to drive me nuts because I would say something self-evidently straightforward, and they would say, "Well, it's not actually as simple as that..."
And then I got older and learned things on the way, and found people asking me questions that were straightforward, but the equivalent of "Why isn't it obvious to everyone that there is only one right way of doing the thing...?" and I would reply, "Well, it's not as simple as that..." and watch them decide that I probably didn't know what I was talking about.
*squints at suspiciously* I don’t think this was made for fingers
if you experience a constitution buff lasting more than 4 hours please contact your magical advisor
task manager kill this man
