Who will i be if i stay?

STRAY (2022) dev. BlueTwelve Studio (02/??) 🐈+🪣

-Rayne Fisher-Quann, "who's afraid of amber heard? abuse, aesthetics, and assigning deviance to difficult women"

AMBER HEARD as MERA OF XEBEL. ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE (2021) dir. Zack Snyder.

tbh there's a good chance that many who were raised in american schools don't know this, but one of the sanctions on lgbt+ bodies which existed pre-stonewall (and after tbh) was what was called the "three article rule". it was legally required that people would have to be wearing 3 or more items of "correct" clothing for their gender.

a person found in clothing that did not "fit" their assigned gender could and would be arrested. this law wasn't repealed in new york until recently. the actual prosecution of this law has disproportionately affected trans women and women of color.

texas is beginning to create "anti-drag" legislations. pre-existing conditions have shown us the degree to which "clothing must fit your assigned gender" can and will be used to create unsafe conditions for lgbt+ and minority populations. labelling drag "inappropriate" for children isn't just a first step towards systematic abuse - it is the assurance that the systematic abuse will occur. there is no population that will be made safe by this law; it exists only to create moral panic and further division. i've spoken about this a lot, but "think of the children" & "protect innocence" is a vile, white-nationalist stakehold which positions queer expression as being inherently "perverted", "sexual", or "deviant".

legislation that corroborates the sentiment that "drag is not appropriate for children" is incredibly harmful not just in the immediate - but also because it sets the legal precedent that any act of gnc expression is inherently inappropriate and wrong.

read up on your history, if you can. and remember: we said we would never let this happen to us again.

As a verdict is possibly hours away, a sense of dread has been building in my stomach for what it will mean for Amber’s future, as well as all victims of intimate partner violence (IPV), particularly as women’s basic rights continue to be under attack in the United States. Like many people who are following the case, I have personal experiences with abuse. Much of my research focuses on IPV, specifically, the disparities in resources and services that are available for survivors to leave their abusers, such as economic, social, geographical barriers. It’s a topic which is deeply tied to my own personal experiences and academic career.

I initially was ambivalent to Amber Heard. Before I began to research the case, I was firmly in the “they both suck” camp, having only briefly glanced through articles. I started to pay more attention to the media coverage over the past six weeks and was really staggered by how Heard was being portrayed as a lying, crazy, gold-digging woman through narratives that were not only going unchallenged, but were heavily perpetuated in the public discourse. Even worse, that the abuse she experienced had been capitalized on by “true crime” junkies and mocked in TikTok videos and Youtube compilations. So I began watching the trial live and found that there was far more evidence and far more substantial evidence which shows that JD was the perpetrator of abuse within their relationship.

The evidence collected through JD’s personal texts and emails show an early pattern of abuse. He exerted control over the clothes Amber wore and would become angry when she didn’t dress “conservatively”. He would consistently accuse her of having affairs with acquaintances, friends, and various co-stars, even with an openly gay director, Clive Barker. He didn’t like that she was ambitious and would scorn her when she took opportunities to advance her career. He would constantly refer to her with misogynistic language. He also referred to Amber, an openly bisexual woman, as a “lesbian camp counsellor”. He messaged other men to discuss killing her through drowning and burning her, and then raping her burnt corpse to prove that she was truly dead. This all occurred while they were still dating. She was in her early 20s and he was in 50s. All of these coercive, paranoid, jealous, controlling behaviours are deeply and unequivocally abusive.

None of this includes the evidence which shows physical and sexual abuse. There are audio tapes in which he admits to headbutting her, so hard that she was concerned her nose was broken. In another recording, they discuss how her family and friends have seen her bruises, broken blood vessels, and bald spots from her hair being torn out of her scalp. Another shows him stating “I will smack the ugly c**t before I let her in.” A video shows him aggressively breaking and smashing furniture near her. One interaction reveals that Stephen Deuters, his assistant, begged her to come back to him after her assaulted her on a plane in front of his bodyguards, pleading to her that JD was remorseful for his actions. Heard also has stated he sexually assaulted her multiple times. Remember, he previously discussed violently raping her in those infamous messages to Paul Bettany.

As for witnesses, several testified to seeing bruises on her numerous times, including JD’s witnesses, such as their marriage counsellor. A makeup artist, Melanie Inglessis, testified to covering swelling on her lip and two black eyes. Raquel Pennington saw several injuries, including bloodied bald spots on her head, a swollen nose, and cut lip. She expressed fear JD would eventually kill Amber if she didn’t leave. Josh Drew also testified to seeing her with injuries, including black eyes, a swollen cheek, and a busted lip. iO Tillet Wright (who Depp misgenders throughout his testimony) recalled hearing JD assault Amber and scream “oh, you think I hit you? You think I fucking hit you? What if I peel your fucking hair back“. iO then called 911. This was the incident which led Heard to file for a divorce and a restraining order, two days afterwards. It is worth noting that Pennington, Drew, and Wright all corroborated this incident in their depositions, as did iO’s 2016 essay.

Is she guilty of fighting back? Absolutely. She never lied about doing so, even dating back to her 2016 deposition. However, fighting back against a man who has beaten you, sexually assaulted you, controlled your career, finances, and who you can associate with does not equate to being an abuser. It’s simply surviving. And yes, I’ve heard those audio tapes, the in which she’s expresses her incredulity at him for stating their fights were fair when she feared he would kill her.

His case has relied upon deeply misogynistic narratives to discredit both her claims and her character. She was after his money all along, even though she refused the 30 million dollar fortune she was legally entitled to, as there was no prenup. She painted on bruises, even though a makeup artist testified to covering up her swollen lip and two black eyes. She cut off his finger, even though multiple texts and even an audio recording showcase him admitting to doing it in the midst of a bender. She didn’t donate her money, even though she and the organization created a 10 year plan for her to make yearly payments (in my personal opinion, what she does with her money either way is nobody’s fucking business). Also worth noting, an ACLU representative testified to her being ahead of schedule until Depp began suing her. She made up a hoax, because she documented her abuse - as we advise all people who are in abusive situations to do. She’s a liar, because women are inherently deceitful liars.

None of the evidence that JD’s attorneys presented has proven that she defamed him through her op-ed piece. That’s likely because their goal was never to prove that her article - which never explicitly references him or their relationship - impacted his career. Those who watched the trial will know, Tracy Jacobs, his agent of 30 years stated that it was his drug and alcohol abuse, anger issues, chronic lateness (7 or 8 hours late to set each day), and unprofessionalism that led to his career decline. Film crews grew tired of working around these problems, and eventually, so did Hollywood. Tina Newman, a Disney Corporate Representative who worked on POTC stated no one knew of Amber’s op-ed until Depp sued her. 

The trial was always meant to humiliate, shame, and terrorize her. We are witnessing in a powerful man terrorize his ex-wife through the legal system, all while the world makes TikToks of her sexual assault testimony. JD has a documented history of violence and is due for another court date after assaulting a crew member of the set of City of Lies. To quote his own words, “If I’m angry and I’ve got to lash out or hit somebody, I’m going to do it and I don’t care what the repercussions are. Anger doesn’t pay rent, it’s gotta go. It’s gotta be evicted.”

I don’t know whether Amber Heard will win her case. We’re witnessing a radical right-wing political swing to control and criminalize women’s bodies with Roe v. Wade under attack right now. To be blunt, I have very little faith in the justice system and that a jury - in Virginia of all places - will rule in favour of an abused woman over her charismatic, powerful ex-husband. However, I think it’s important to remember that Amber did everything right, that is, everything we tell women to do. She documented her abuse, left her abusive partner, and was granted a restraining order - and she’s continuing to be punished for doing so. If Amber, a privileged white woman with access to economic resources, is still struggling to escape her abuser, how can we expect women without those privileges to?

I wanted to address a few of the comments I received in regards to the case, particularly Amber’s actions and alleged inconsistencies.

I wanted to mention a few other things. We’ve since learned that John Depp attempted to block Amber from following Covid-19 safety measures during her deposition. Amber wanted to wear an N95 mask to protect herself and her infant daughter, as the Omicron variant was surging. Not only did Depp himself refuse to follow proper masking, he attempted to bar Amber from safe masking too, even in spite of the Virginia guidelines. I can’t express how grotesque and inhumane that is.

Depp’s team also put forward a motion to strike a statement in Rottenborn’s closing argument pertaining to abuse survivors, in which he states, “that their decision in this case would send a message to every victim of domestic abuse everywhere.” It really shows that this case was never about standing up for survivors, it was about one man abusing his ex-wife. Remember, if Depp wins, it means that survivors of all genders- which includes men - will not be able to speak about their experiences with abuse for fear of legal retaliation by their abusers. John Depp does not care about survivors because he is an abuser.

I also hope others continue to write pro-Amber pieces. If you’re considering doing so, I would encourage you to turn your anonymous messages off to protect yourself from harassment. Within hours of posting, I had to restrict my messages after receiving multiple anonymous commenters calling me derogatory names and gendered insults, as well as one telling me to unalive myself. I’ve been on this website for over 10 years and have never once experienced that. This seems to be the norm for JD stans, which is partly why I think so many people are hesitant to express support for Amber.

Please continue to be supportive of Amber in your own lives. Please believe survivors.

at the end of the day that man’s defenders have gone full qanon like it doesn’t matter what she says or how many photos of her bruises or the insane amount of property damage she has. it doesn’t matter that there are audio recordings of him screaming at her “you don’t exist” and telling her nobody will believe her or or admitting to head butting her or threatening to hurt himself while she begs him to stop. everyone jumped at the first chance to take their foot off this man’s neck so they wouldn’t have to face the reality that he’s a piece of shit and now they won’t see anything else. even the dumbass “mutual abuse” crowd refuses to acknowledge the way only one of them is being smeared and mocked relentlessly across the internet (and now on snl, apparently.) it doesn’t matter to them that her allegations against him were made in 2016, well before there was a mainstream metoo movement to “take advantage of”. it doesn’t matter! does anyone else feel like dying

actually the worst part is how many young people pride themselves on being “too smart” to fall for propaganda are the ones leading the online charge against this woman because they watched a tiktok “debunking” her claims

The truth is a General They has always wanted to undo the metoo movement but none of the celebrities getting accused were likable enough or had enough of a established fanbase for it to stick and now they not only have that but also the nostalgia associated with that man

Currently trending

I know it’s been said so many times but really how have on-screen gay kisses somehow REGRESSED in the 17 years since heath ledger almost broke jake gyllenhaal’s nose in his commitment. smh

I will say that the idea of ‘mutual abuse’ is a flawed one and I don’t think anybody should be giving it credibility. it establishes a precedent wherein those who stand up to or attempt to fight their abusers in some way somehow become a guilty party

much better to simply say you don’t know the facts of a situation than it is to say both parties can be victims of the other’s terror at once…

and I mean this very strongly like hitting your abuser doesn’t suddenly make you the abuser or a co-abuser. abuse is about who has the control and the power to leverage it

okay I promise the last reblog but: it’s important to mention that abusers thrive off of this very idea. baiting a victim into retaliation in order to frame their abuse as part of a mutual brawl later, or to coax their victim into forgiving them because ‘we both behaved badly, we lost our temper’ etc is not uncommon. it’s a great way of making their victim doubt the reality that they’re experiencing abuse

Pick ur favorite girl

They serving their looks as usual

MANU RÍOS @ Élite 5 Teaser

Wonder Woman: Black and Gold #6 ⋆ cover by Lee Bermejo

2 sketches of kurt I did recently

OSCAR ISAAC 2022 | Guy Aroch ph. for Esquire US