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relatable.

@devonxlucinda / devonxlucinda.tumblr.com

I'm 29 and I eat a lot.
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da-mous

*doing your tarot reading*

oh. two of worms. it means worms are coming to your house.. interpret that how you will..

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Need people to understand that if I’m online all day and do not respond to messages it’s because I need a day to not be a person and instead be one of those undiscovered species of slugs and that has lived in a cave for 1000 years and never seen sunlight and survives by eating moss

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tearlessrain

you have to pretend to be a wizard sometimes, for your health. the obvious method is d&d, but you can also open the dishwasher on cold mornings and raise your arms dramatically as you're enveloped in the steam, or you can find a really good stick to walk around in the woods with, or you can run a bizarrely dedicated rp blog on tumblr. but it's an important component of human well being to occasionally pretend to be a wizard.

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no but tumblr is just what human beings are like when just allowed to be. middle school class on a school trip energy mixed with neolitic village around the fire at dusk energy mixed with hippie commune energy mixed with archaic greek aural epos energy mixed with

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betthearm

You are not hiding this in the tags.

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greelin

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

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rslashrats

this is literally the funniest plot twist in any form of media ever

No but get this dude's entire's backstory. When he went to church it was blown up. He was impaled by a crucifix and onlt survived 2 days because he drank the blood of his dead family for 2 days until he was rescued. They called him vamp but not because all of that. Because he was bisexual

Also this is what "he's named Vamp because he's bisexual" looks like

Did I mention that hole in his forehead is a gunshot wound which he survived because he's essentially immortal, and he can walk up sheer vertical faces?

Right, because of his bisexuality

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An incomplete list of things that employers commonly threaten that are 100% illegal in the United States

  • "We'll fire you if you tell others how much you're making" The National Labor Relations Act of 1935 specifically protects employees who discuss their own wages with each other (you can't reveal someone else's wages if you were given that information in the course of work, but you can always discuss your own or any that were revealed to you outside of work duties)
  • "If we can't fire you for [discussing wages/seeking reasonable accommodation/filing a discrimination complaint/etc], we'll just fire you for something else the next day." This is called pretextual termination, and it offers your employer almost no protection; if you are terminated shortly after taking a protected action such as wage discussion, complaints to regulatory agencies, or seeking a reasonable accommodation, you can force the burden onto your employer to prove that the termination wasn't retaliatory.
  • "Disparaging the company on social media is grounds for termination" Your right to discuss workplace conditions, compensation, and collective action carries over to online spaces, even public ones. If your employer says you aren't allowed to disparage the company online or discuss it at all, their social media policy is illegal. However, they can forbid releasing information that they're obligated to keep confidential such as personnel records, business plans, and customer information, so exercise care.
  • "If you unionize, we'll just shut this branch down and lay everyone off" Threatening to take action against a group that unionizes is illegal, full stop. If a company were to actually shut down a branch for unionizing, they would be fined very heavily by the NLRB and be opening themselves up to a class-action lawsuit by the former employees.
  • "We can have any rule we want, it's only illegal if we actually enforce it" Any workplace policy or rule that has a "chilling effect" on employees' willingness to exercise their rights is illegal, even if the employer never follows through on any of their threats.
  • "If you [protected action], we'll make sure you never work in this industry/city/etc again." Blacklisting of any kind is illegal in half the states in the US, and deliberately sabotaging someone's job search in retaliation for a protected action is illegal everywhere in the US.
  • "Step out of line and you can kiss your retirement fund/last paycheck goodbye." Your employer can never refuse to give you your paycheck, even if you've been fired. Nor can they keep money that you invested in a retirement savings account, and they can only claw back the money they invested in the retirement account under very specific circumstances.
  • "We'll deny that you ever worked here" not actually possible unless they haven't been paying their share of employment taxes or forwarding your withheld tax to the government (in which case they're guilty of far more serious crimes, and you might stand to gain something by turning them in to the IRS.) The records of your employment exist in state and federal tax data, and short of a heist that would put Oceans 11 to shame, there's nothing they can do about that.

This is all legit, and a lot of it falls under the protections for concerted activity. You can find more about that here: https://www.nlrb.gov/about-nlrb/rights-we-protect/the-law/employees/concerted-activity

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unironically love the phrase “but I’m being so brave about it” because truly, like, what other choice do we have in this wretched existence? what a beautiful way to remind yourself to keep going, even if only out of spite

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“I have never been able to understand people with consistent lives – people who, for example, grow up in a liberal Catholic household and stay that way; or who in junior high school are already laying down a record on which to run for president one day. Imagine having no discarded personalities, no vestigial selves, no visible ruptures with yourself, no gulf of self-forgetfulness, nothing that requires explanation, no alien version of yourself that requires humor and accommodation. What kind of life is that?”

— Michael Warner, “Tongues Untied” in Curiouser: On the Queerness of Children (216)

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hoenngarbage

I swear how do I know ZERO celebrities. You guys always talk about famous people and I have no idea who the hell you’re talking about but then it turns out they’re the most well known and liked person on earth right now

because all u do is watch phineas and ferb

They sent Candace to the moon the other day.

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